<p>I don't think the op means he/she is clinically depressed. And being depressed about not getting something one has worked hard for is valid. Comparing the reasons for depression is not valid. Although rejection of any kind doesn't have the same significance to most people as, say, terminal illness, death, war, it is still, in fact, a reason for being upset or depressed. One difference is, and I think the op understands this, is that it is usually temporary. But saying that the op shouldn't be upset, because there are bigger reasons to be upset, is immature. It's like saying to someone 25 pounds overweight, "You're not heavy, she (pointing to someone 150 pounds overweight) is heavy". No, 25 pounds overweight is still overweight. And being depressed about not getting into an Ivy League school, whether other people THINK it's a good reason or not, is still the reason the op is depressed.</p>
<p>^ You're quite right. Whether anyone thinks he/she is justified to feel the way he/she does, the person still feels that way. I think that what people are saying is that if it's just a case of feeling down, then it's time to look at things from a different angle. Sure, it's a blow to someone who's never experience famine, death, great tragedy....but it would be a waste of time to wallow in self-pity for more than a few weeks. That's why people are advising him/her to look around, see others in far worse situations and be optimistic. They're trying to give him/her some perspective. If the person is clinically depressed, then this probably won't work - there a professional needs to intervene.</p>
<p>I think people just find his case a little laughable is all. Why did he choose to come to a public message board to complain? Do you know how many hundreds of students on this board have it so much worse than him?</p>
<p>This person is not really "depressed." I'd put money down on the fact that he's never experienced any real emotional pain in his entire life. Sure, his girlfriend might have dumped him, or he might have earned a B in some classs. That's not real emotional stress. Neither is being turned down by the top universities for UW. </p>
<p>TC is angry because he wanted the name on his degree and now he's not going to get it.</p>
<p>This is nothing but a whiny rant.</p>
<p>It's hard to underestimate the level of disappointment you must feel. I am so sorry that your outcome wasn't what you had hoped for.</p>
<p>Allow yourself a specific amount of time to feel sorry for yourself--say one week. Then, pick yourself up and decide how to make the proverbial "lemons out of lemonade". </p>
<p>As many have said, UW-Madison is an awesome university for many....maybe even for you. Given your capabilities, you may find you can be a big fish in a very big pond. </p>
<p>Mostly, keep in mind that sometimes things really do happen for the best. One poster talked about how his 4th choice (Tufts) unexpectedly was the right place due to a family situation.</p>
<p>Maybe you are destined to meet the love of your life at UW. Maybe you will have a professor who profoundly inspires you. Maybe you will learn some life lessons there you wouldn't have learned anywhere else. It's quite possible that many years from now you can look back and realize that going to UW was the best thing that could have happened to you.</p>
<p>This whole experience can be an "a-ha!" moment in your life. Lots of things about the college admissions process are out of your control. How you handle the outcome is not.</p>
<p>Best of luck to you in whatever you decide to do. Please keep us posted as you negotiate through this bump in your road of life......</p>
<p>To the OP:</p>
<p>Don't listen to the people saying you're whiny or selfish. You aren't. The people here who sympathize with you are likely the people who've had the most life experience because they've grown up enough to realize that sometimes emotions are tricky and that you're not being a bad person just because you feel bad. The "suck it up" line is the line of people who aren't even comfortable with their own feelings. It's unwise to compare your sadness to somebody else's (like some here are trying to do) because, as this one Holocaust survivor (I forget his name, but he was a rather well-known psychologist) said (well, I'm paraphrasing): Grief is like a gas. No matter how little or how great the amount, it fills the container in which you place it. Therefore, different griefs are incomparable. They all fill us up. But yours will trickle out just like air eventually leaks from a balloon... you'll be okay, better than okay. And it will happen because you get through your emotions instead of stomping them.</p>
<p>I feel very badly for you. You set a goal, (which we tell our kids to do), did everything you needed to do in order to attain that goal, and then you didn't make it, when others did, that in many cases, you see as inferior. You have every right to be upset. Cry, yell, scream. You did what you were told and taught, and heard ivy so many times in your life by the adults around you, those guided you to that goal, and yet, no matter what, you couldn't make it. The society and community set this child up for hurt feelings when it didn't tell him that no matter what you do, getting into an ivy is a crapshoot. It isn't the type of goal you can plan and plot for (but perhaps you can buy it through the use of a counselor) with an assured outcome. You feel cheated, and worthless. Let it out. You have earned the right. Once that is done, then you need to sit down and determine what you want, not what everyone else has fed you over the years. Perhaps a gap year would work for you. It worked for andison. Perhaps applying to another school that has rolling admissions. But whatever it is, the pain will be eradicated once you go where you are appreciated, and loved.</p>
<p>As to everyone telling the OP not to feel this way, since others have it worse. There is something I heard a while ago. Your broken leg doesn't hurt any less just because someone else has cancer. Perhaps all those who are telling OP to buck up were perfect, mature, 18 year olds, who didn't feel defeated, hurt, unwanted. After all, they blew out their candles and became adults with all the wisdom inherent at that time. This child is hurting. He will get up and dust himself off, and thrive where he was meant to be, but in the meantime, he has to work things out for himslef. Hurting is part of the process.</p>
<p>OP, did you apply to any top twenty colleges that are not ivies?? I am a mom who has degrees from an ivy and from two national top twenty non-ivies. They are all equally excellent academically, socially, prestige-wise, etc. It is best to focus on where you fit in, rather than on the fact that a college is in the Ivy League. The message to future applicants is to understand that Ivy League colleges, while excellent, are no better than their equivalent non-ivies. Try picking a college that meets your academic interests outside of the ivy league. You may have better success all the way around.</p>
<p>i recieved the first rejection from anyone for the whole 17 years i've lived......</p>
<p>What?</p>
<p>I am one of the few lucky ones who's parents say the same thing. I am applying to very selective colleges but I will not die if they do not accept me. I am so grateful to have parents who do not push me, but keep me on the ground in this age of "overachievers" who all want to go to the three top schools. If more people were as lucky as me, they would not be so unhappy, depressed or in many cases suicidal. Ever kid on this board should realize that there are other things in life then just getting into that one college. There are more serious issues in this world and not everything revolves abround college admission.
Now that I have that out of my system, I do want to say that I also hope to be accepted to one of my top choices not because they are so selective, but because I want to spend 4 years of my life in a place I like and that just happens to be one of the top 3 Universities in the country.</p>
<p>You are so right. My mother told me when those first rejections start coming in next spring, I can be depressed for a week, eat the whole doughnut stash and say that the world is such an unfair place and then I should put the energy I put into being sorry for myself into finding a place I like and succeeding there.</p>
<p>Stop comparing this person's problems to kids in Africa without food and homeless people. Not his/her fault that she was born into an American lifestyle. Comparison does not help at all. He/she came on here for support, not to be shot down. Seriously, show some humanity and compassion.</p>
<p>Look at it this way: The odds of you ending up an incredibly annoying person just shot way down! You might not end up with the golf game, but you'll probably lead a happier life...</p>
<p>Where you go to college means 100000000 times less than who you are as a person.</p>
<p>^ true story. you can either do your best at madison and get raving recommendations from your professors, or sulk and waste your 4 years and the great opportunity you have. some people would love to be in your shoes! when i got rejected from my top choice college, i was pretty upset, especially after finding out that two girls who had lower statistics (grades, extracurrics) than i did had been accepted. i felt like there must've been something wrong with me. you must realize that the college application process is all over the place and most likely completely out of your hands. take the time to think about what could've been the reason you were rejected and try to improve on that. for me, it might've been that my recommendations weren't fantastic.. now i'm trying to improve on getting to know my teachers better instead of sitting there and not participating. i know having a positive attitude is hard especially when you're down- i know i always hated when cheery people told me to be happy and not worry so much. but it really does help! it's always easy to fall into depression, and even though the best thing you can do for yourself, to stay positive, is always the hardest, it makes you feel a whole lot better in the end. don't let one moment ruin your life.</p>
<p>p.s. hugs not drugs! haha</p>
<p>Full disclosure: I'm a UW-Madison alum.</p>
<p>Some things to focus on:</p>
<ul>
<li><p>There will be about 6600 freshmen starting with you in Madison. Thus the total number of UW freshmen scoring in the upper quartile of incoming students is about the same as the total number of Harvard freshmen (about 1600). Check the stats - their board scores have the same cut off as the Harvard 25th percentile. My point? You're likely to have many very capable students around you. Presumably that's at least part of what you were seeking when you applied to competitive colleges. Their there, lots of them, at Madison. Seek them out in honors other such courses more likely to attract them.</p></li>
<li><p>The breadth of choices you'll have at UW is not likely to be exceded anywhere. It is the strength of a large school.</p></li>
<li><p>If it is your bent, you can find plenty of undergrad research opportunities, probably more and in greater diversity than at smaller schools. But you have to seek them out. </p></li>
<li><p>You're prospects for graduate education (grad, law, med), if that's what you seek, are still strong by going to UW. It has numerous highly regarded programs and will prepare you well for almost any future coursework you have in mind. If you don't want to continue school after college, UW will have hundreds of recruiters on campus during your senior year - many more than at most other schools.</p></li>
<li><p>You can personalize your experience: try the Honors program, it will give you smaller classes and more direct contact with profs. Check into dorm alternatives (like Chadbourne) - they can give you a more intimate community than the common dorm experience.</p></li>
</ul>
<p>"If you want to be a Badger, just come along with me. By the light, shining light, by the light of the moon ..."</p>
<p>If not, go pound salt.</p>
<p>Focusing solely on admission to specific schools as you're career goal leaves you empty, satisfied AND lazy once you're in them. You feel you've accomplished it all which is a big big mistake take it from me. Once you're in a college, life has only just started. NO ONE in todays corporate market is stupid enough to hire people only because they are Ivies. They need skill, talent, intelligence, resourcefulness and leardship qualities. If you're focus is to achieve all of this, you can do it at Madison or any other place for that matter. However If all you want is to be an ivy, and dont really care about the career, theres no use of any advice. You can be the best at whatever you want wherever you want. You just have to want it enough. The only people who made history and changed the course of the world were the ones who accomplished what they wanted with limited resource and opportunity. Ivy or not, you can be the best.
You just have to want it enough....</p>
<p>Another thing you might like to think about... I once thought that I was a failure if I didn't achieve goals I set myself. 2 years ago, I began writing down goals for myself, detailing the steps to reach them and doing all I could do get what I wanted. Most of the time, it worked, and nothing gave me quite as much pleasure as crossing one off those aims of my list.</p>
<p>However, there were things that I wanted that I didn't get, even though I did everything in my power to obtain them. One such example is admission to an elite university (like Princeton). I remember crying one night, telling my dad that everything I had done was for nothing, that I was nothing, a terrible failure because I was rejected. I hadn't reached my goal! I may as well not have worked, the outcome would have been the same, right?</p>
<p>OF COURSE NOT. I'm going to compare working towards my goal to climbing a mountain. I started out at the foot, and at the end, I was near the summit. Am I failure because I didn't quite reach the peak? Doesn't all that distance I covered count for anything? It counts a lot. In overcoming obstacles, persevering and working hard, I discovered new talents, new abilities, new limits, fine-tuned skills I already had, and learned so much, not just about algorithms and differential equations, but also about life. I don't regret a moment of it. For me, life is about learning and self-improvement. I am fascinated by the world and see life as a gift. My aim is to learn as much as I can, and in as much depth as possible. I want to be the best I can be, make the most of my potential and the opportunities available to me. :) I'm not always this positive, and I do complain a lot, but at the end of the day, this is my philosophy.</p>
<p>i know there are a million posts and you probably won't read this, but consider transferring: you definitely have a great shot of getting into any of your top choice schools as a transfer</p>
<p>i cried for pretty much the entire day, and i skipped school the next day, and my life's been hell ever since</p>