Coping with depression caused by the college selection process...

College Confidential Community
101

<p>Read these quotes.</p>

<p>"Never confuse a single defeat with a final defeat."
F. Scott Fitzgerald</p>

<p>"You may not realize it when it happens, but a kick in the teeth may be the best thing in the world for you."
Walt Disney</p>

<p>"Failure is simply the opportunity to begin again, this time more intelligently."
Henry Ford</p>

<p>"Success is the ability to go from one failure to another with no loss of enthusiasm."
Winston Churchill</p>

<p>"It would not be better if things happened to men just as they wish."
Heraclitus</p>

<p>Try to look at this setback in another light. You'll soon see that it's really not much of a setback... but possibly even a blessing. Give UW Madison a chance. You might be surprised.</p>

102

<p>I feel it for you... I feel the same way... concentrate on the future not the past... No more drugs... Just go take a walk breathe in some fresh air and think about how well you'll do at UW-Madison.</p>

<p>After all, a 35 on the ACT is brilliant... Let's just say I had that minus a double digit number... lol</p>

<p>Go and blow out UW then transfer or go to the grad school of maybe one of the other schools that rejected you... Make them wish that they'd accepted you the first time. Good Luck... God bless...</p>

103

<p>You're not depressed. As someone who has been clinically depressed for the majority of this year, I can sincerely tell you that not getting into college is only disappointing you, not giving you depression. I don't want to sound mean. I mean, I feel your pain. I was rejected from my first choice and got really upset and my depression made accepting my reality that much worse. But I'll admit that I'm tired of people throwing the word around. It's a serious condition, not a state of mind. My depression, for example, is a genetic condition that runs in both of my parents' families. All you really need to do is find things you like about Wisconsin. I know some people at my school who are thrilled to go there, as they very well should be. It's a great school with tons of opportunities. Once I, personally, got over the fact that I didn't get into my first choice, I picked another school and I honestly couldn't be more happy that I didn't get into my first choice. I realized going there would be like four more years of my high school, and I would probably have been miserable there. But that's me, everyone's got to find out on their own how to make it work. And, if you go to Wisconsin and actually are really miserable, you can always transfer. It's not over just because you didn't get in now. And the Ivy League isn't all that it's cracked up to be. It's just a list of names.</p>

104

<p>OMG, I feel your pain. I can definatly relate. I had my heart set on USC ever since the 8TH GRADE!!I would wear USC shirts, and go USC crazy. Well, I ended up not going to USC because of rejection. Instead, my sister ended going to USC on a scholarship and is on the debate team. <--- Talk about jealousy right there! Not only that but my sister didn't want to go to USC. She complained the whole time about the school. I was rejected by all the schools I applied too except UNLV. I was born and raised in Las Vegas too. This truly broke my heart, but now she likes USC and is grateful for the scholarship. I'll never forget the pain I felt. I admit it there are times when I am jealous of her because she has things that I want, but now I'm applying to transfer to university in Japan to study abroad. Overall, it'll take time to get over the depresssion but you will get over it!</p>

105

<p>I worked at an investment bank with a Harvard grad who was the biggest jerk I ever met. He thought his degree meant he was smart. WRONG. He could not spell and wrote like a high school freshman. He was obviously a legacy - someone who took a spot that someone smart like you could have had.</p>

<p>But guess what? I, the lowly SUNY graduate, got promoted, with a big bonus and a corner office, and he got the boot. Ivy isn't everything in the real world, that's for sure!</p>

<p>Enjoy your college years. Stop whining about the myth that you can't be happy without an Ivy League degree. Get straight As and go to an Ivy grad school if you must. But get real - kids your agewith bad grades and limited options who end up soldiering in Iraq are living much worse lives than you.</p>

<p>Be happy for your achievements and don't look back. Now go get some fresh air and forget about college and drugs. Go for a hike or go see a museum masterpiece or go dancing. Have fun being young and knowing you are headed for great things in life.</p>

106

<p>I've met... maybe 20+ ivy admits at Wisconsin (I'm sure I know more, but it's not a topic that comes up often) and they range from the perfect 4.0 kids looking at Harvard law, to those struggling around the median. You got into Wisconsin, not Eastern Washington.</p>

107

<p>Clearly you have gotten a lot of mostly good sound advice here, hey a lot of people care about what you are going through! The one thing I will say and I truly believe this is the cliche that there is a silver lining in every cloud, no matter how dark. In this case, you are devastated and understandably, my best friend who is now a senior had the same thing happen to her and is settling for Binghamton when she really thought she was going to go to Colgate or Brown. She was beyond devastated and literally walked around for weeks like a depressed zombie, broke up with her boyfriend, stopped talking to everyone,etc............her Mom took her up to Binghamton for a second look and on that visit she met a girl she knew from last year who incidentally was #1 in her class, p.s. they hit it off and she felt better knowing she was in such great company. Although it still eats away at her she is now putting her energy into being more optimistic about her future, is planning on working very hard her first year and considering to transfer at one of the schools she had her heart set on. There really really is a reason things happen, not to diminish what you are going through because so many do and its a deep heartfelt pain, when someone referred to years of working so darn hard and then seeing it all go into dust in literally two seconds after reading a decision sums it up. I personally always try to think how much worse it could be, maybe you wouldn't have gotten in anywhere, there are many for whom Wisconsin is a dream school, something horrible (God forbid) could have happened and maybe you can't go to college, period,etc.........you get the picture. my aunt follows very closely Deepak Chopra and she has greatly influenced my life with the simple powers of positive thinking. I wish you luck and assure you in a few short months, you will be adapting to your new college, and very likely not only having a great time but not even thinking for a second about where else you could be.</p>

108

<p>You need perspective, and to do stuff for other people. You can get both by volunteering at a local homeless shelter.</p>

109

<p>It's hard to be disappointed. And as many have said, the numbers associated with the admissions process were crazy. I was at Tufts on Saturday, and they said that of all their candidates, 80% were qualified, but they can only take 25%. </p>

<p>So to some degree, you are a victim of numbers. A smart person once told me that depression and anger can be emotions that are very close together. It's fair to be angry - you tried to play by all the rules, do all the right things, and you didn't get the reward you thought you might get.</p>

<p>But, this whole process is about finding a college. So here's some things to do to help looking towards the future. </p>

<p>Go hit your new school's web site, and take a look at the college catalog. Find some classes that might be interesting for the fall. Before school gets out, go online and chat with current students about some of the classes and activities they like. Take a look at some of the activities. What appeals to you?</p>

<p>Start thinking about the upside - you are off to college, new people, new ideas, new activities. Exactly what you wanted? Maybe not. But interesting - certainly. </p>

<p>On the day to day, this is a blow, but it won't end up defining who you are. It's a shock, but you'll get over it. Soon you'll be so engaged in new things, it won't matter. In the mean time, hang out with friends, get some exercise, have some ice cream.</p>

<p>Don't worry about the folks that are giving you a hard time for feeling bad. But when you can, start looking forward, not backward.</p>

<p>Best of luck</p>

110

<p>It is important to set educational and progessional goals for oneself-e.g., master a language, learn calculus, prepare for my chosen career. However, those goals should be worthwhile in and of themselves, and do not require the external validation of where you happen to attend college. In the process of applying to schools, you learned to work hard, excel in school, clarify your future goals, organize your time, etc.-all of these are important by products of your goal of applying to a good college. Obviously, you are a bright student and have done well academically. You will have many opportunities to build on that in the future. Remember, we are more, much more, than a college degree or a professional success. True happiness comes from within and is not validated by accomplishments (not that they are not important) but from those whom we love and care about, and also from ourselves. You are every good a student today whether you were accepted by an Ivy League school or not-it is not a reflection of your abilities or who you are as a person.</p>

<p>In the relatively small world of your high school, you have been highly successful and have never encountered disappointment or failure to reach a certain goal. However, this will happen many times later in your life. Even for Ivy Leaguers-they will find their wall, whether it be on the job or at home. How you respond to this can be a great learning experience. I also would really emphasize looking at the positive side of your circumstance. You have the opportunity to go to a great university, and if you work hard, you should have every opportunity to realize your career dreams. At the same time, college is a time to find out who you are, and develop the maturity, persistence, and character that will enable you to succeed professionally and personally in life.</p>

<p>I think your story also highlights the importance of choosing safety schools, particularly those that one would still enjoy attending. I do not know where you applied, but they must have been extremely selective schools to have turned you down if you had such outstanding credentials. Unfortunately, there are a lot of other kids with equally or perhaps even stronger credentials. Or perhaps they were looking for oboe players or lacrosse players, and you pursued theater as your extr-currricular. Sometimes there is no rhyme or reason to explain the admissions process. It is good that you applied to a safety school and are not scrambling around trying to find an unfilled spot at a random university. Now take advantage of it.</p>

<p>By the way, University of Wisconsin is highly respected worldwide, and from an international perspective, is arguably better known that some of the smaller Ivies that do not have large graduate programs and top LACs. Most internationals know about the major research universities in the U.S. and Univ of Wisconsin is definitely one of them. I personally don't think one should choose college based primarily on prestige; however, if going to a name college is important to you, which seems to be the case, Univ of Wisconsin is highly recognized. Its faculty in some departments are among the tops in their respective fields.</p>

111

<p>^aww how inspiring :D</p>

112

<p>pmyen: nicely stated =]</p>

113

<p>DON"T WORRY</p>

<p>uw Madison is a good school. so what if you got rejected by all those ivies, life goes on. Many of the shakers and leaders of the world today didn't go to ivies. My dad is the lead engineer in one of the largest enginnering companies in america, and he went to some mediocre college in Canada! it doesn't really matter what college you go to (well there is a drop off point, but UW Madison is way above that), its what you do and how you score in college. Don't worry, you'll be ok!</p>

114

<p>I'm late in the thread, so many have already offered much of the advice I would, so I'll add just this.</p>

<p>I'd get up early tomorrow morning, buy as much coffee and egg mcmuffins as I could carry/afford, and go to the nearby park and offer some homeless veterans some breakfast. And sit and talk with them.</p>

<p>perspective usually helps me.</p>

115

<p>"yep..and its CHOCK FULL of slightly neurotic obsessed parents and students......I mean some of these people have posted what? 3,000 times? That is weird! They need to get a life!"</p>

<p>Who are you? Are you even a student or parent or anything?</p>

116

<p>"I made a 35 on the ACT, was very involved with extracurriculars, and was third in my class, yet I got rejected by 12 out of 15 schools."</p>

<p>To be perfectly honest...you had a really good shot at getting into a few of these schools stats wise. (As long as your school doesnt have like 6 ppl) I think part of the reason these schools rejected you might have been a letter of rec. On the letter of rec, you are asked to check how a student reacts to failure. I'm sure this is not the first time you've encountered failure AND I'm sure this is not the first time you acted like this when confronting failure. If a teacher or gc took note of it-that could have killed your chances. I'm not saying that you are a bad person but chances are there was a huge gaping hole in your app-to be rejected from many schools with a 35 ACT and rank 3-while in theory is possible, is not highly likely. I think you should see a psychiatrist or some other professional. Good luck with the rest of your life...you are obviously an intelligent individual who can go forward in life if you can get your issues sorted out.</p>

117

<p>my parents went to madison, and they loved it--it was beautiful, and the people where very nice =) ikno that it doesn't seem like it matters, but you will love the school. besides, you can always go somewhere for graduate school. it doesn't end with high school. it'll be fine.</p>