<p>They do, but then they won't take them off. Ever.</p>
<p>I wish I could figure out if I'm applying somewhere or not.</p>
<p>Wish granted, but you end up getting reject everywhere.</p>
<p>I wish I could lose weight.</p>
<p>You loose so much weight you die.</p>
<p>I wish I was hungry and new what to make for dinner.</p>
<p>you do, but then you're full. and no longer hungry.</p>
<p>i wish my friends were more caring</p>
<p>they begin to care so much that they pester you.</p>
<p>i wish i had more sleep.</p>
<p>you do, but that's because you're depressed and can't get out of bed</p>
<p>i wish i knew all the digits of pi</p>
<p>You find it out for a brief moment, but then forget it the next.</p>
<p>I wish one of my friends were online to edit a poem I just wrote.</p>
<p>he is, but he says it sucks</p>
<p>i wish i knew my internet friends in real life</p>
<p>You meet them and except for very few, they're all pedophiles.</p>
<p>I wish I could finish this stupid story.</p>
<p>you finish it, but not before someone ruins the ending for you.</p>
<p>i wish i could manage my time better.</p>
<p>You spend all your time organizing your time that you never get to do the things that you plan to do.</p>
<p>I wish I could type extremely fast.</p>
<p>You type extremely fast, but realize you actually have Parkinson's disease.</p>
<p>I wish I weren't getting sick.</p>
<p>You find out you're not GETTING sick. You ARE sick.</p>
<p>I wish I had a better English teacher.</p>
<p>you get a good english teacher, but turns out...she's really hot and you two have sex in the back of her car.
couple weeks later she's pregnant and YOU'RE the dad.</p>
<p>i wish i could be a genius...</p>
<p>You're a genius, but the CIA takes you out becuase they are afraid that you will figure out all of the top-secret experiments they do.</p>
<p>I wish I didn't have to go to church.</p>
<p>you dont go to church, but then you die in a car crash with all your sins still on your conscience</p>
<p>i wish i could get really great financial aid</p>
<p>You do, and then your school realizes they made a mistake and rejects you.</p>
<p>I wish I got a new iphone.</p>
<p>You get one, but your family refuses to pay for the ridiculous fees.</p>
<p>I wish I knew I wasn't affected by senioritis.</p>
<p>you know, but that's because you're dead</p>
<p>i wish i was more mature</p>
<p>You are, but you're so mature that you have to take twenty Viagras a day to, ahh, function :)</p>
<p>I wish I had a working pen.</p>