Could anybody read a very Chinese Common App personal statement?

College Essays
1

<p>HELP...
I am trying to sound very Chinese to show "diversity" in short answer and sound very American to "fit into American education" in personal statement..
So pleeeaase could anybody read my PS? I am very afraid that, although I tried my best to put my wits into the essay, Americans would be like ***...><#
Thank you thank you thank you~><~</p>

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<p>Message me</p>

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<p>you can PM me…btw, i’m a chinese from minority region, in my commomapp essay, i had tried the same thing as you do, so i think i can give you some advices.</p>