<p>As Darwin once claimed, Man was meant to evolve for eternity. In the
natural process of evolution, mankind adapts to the problems it faces and
rises above stronger and more superior. But with today's modern
technology, outside problems become less and less encumbering as our
technological advances progress and make life more convenient. As pleasing
as it sounds, however, there are major downsides. Today's society is
poisoned with physical disadvantages that cripple humanity from reaching
its physical potential. Along with this, life becomes gradually more
monotonous as technology progresses and takes care all the problems and
tasks we have. Therefore, although changes meant to make our lives easier
may be good in occasional cases, they are usually negative because in the
long run, they lead to physical deficiency and a simplistic lifestyle.
The U.S. is well known as one of the most flourishing countries in the
world. It is is also known as as one of the most obese countries in the
world.This is because the U.S. is quickly advancing in their level of
technology. This includes subjects in transportation, agriculture, and
more. With easier access to transportation, people have become reluctant
to walk even the slightest of distances. Along with the lack of exercise,
the easy access to food contributes to the obesity factor. New
technological changes have allowed there to be an excess in food supplies.
This gives the people the psychology that because there is an abundance of
food, it gives them the signal to be able to eat more. Consequently,
people begin to consume more which leads to higher obesity.
Another example of how change is bad is based off technological advances
once again. With new, high tech gadgets constantly being introduced,
people slowly lead into a life of materialism in where they them to be
entertained. Today's youth is obsessed with its texting and emailing which
only prevents them from participating in something more productive. They
rely on our entertainment systems and computer to completely rule how They
lead the majority of our recreation lives. While they waste countless
hours in front of a glowing, life's possibilities slowly wither away.
Although change may be beneficial sometimes, society still takes
advantage of it to the point where it becomes a curse. As our species
deteriorates from the changes it made in an attempt to ease life's small
burdens, we slowly become corrupt as our lives become infested with an
overabundance that leads to the birth of the "lazy generation".
This refers to our youth who truly suffers the worst from the
technological change. The next generation has become an obese
disappointment with a spoiled life that will lead it nowhere.</p>
<p>By the way, the essay above was written in four paragraphs. I don’t know why it got posted that way. </p>
<p>2nd paragraph starts in The US
3rd starts in Another example
4th starts in Although </p>
<p>Sorry.</p>
<p>Ooops. Sorry again. No question.
Question is:
Do changes that make our lives easier not necessarily make them better? Plan and write an essay in which you develop your point of view on this issue. Support your position with reasoning and examples taken from your reading, studies, experience, or observations.</p>
<p>I haven’t read all of it, but I love the diction. You could expand on the length a little, vary the sentence structure a good bit (in the US para, you begin with ‘this’ quite a lot), and avoid saying, “another example”. Someone wise told me that makes you sound like a 8 year old (harshly put, but its the truth). </p>
<p>Overall, I’d give it a, eh, 9-10</p>
<p>I give you a 10. But I think your intro is kind of long with a lot of details, so if it’s me I would split the intro paragraph and use technology “cripple humanity from reaching its physical potential” as first body paragraph and elaborate it. That way you have 3 body paragraphs with sufficient analysis.</p>
<p>it’s reasonably long(which obviously helps:D)
nice examples…10</p>