Could someone grade my SAT essay out of 12 and explain why

<p>"College isn't the place to go for ideas." --- Helen Keller</p>

<p>"Next in importance to freedom and justice is popular education, without which neither freedom nor justice can be permanently maintained." ---James A. Garfield</p>

<h2>ASSIGNMENT: Does higher education stifle ideas and freedom, or is it essential to them?</h2>

<p>Higher education is not always necessary in conceiving brilliant ideas. Although it is plausible to say it helps, if one has ample ambition they themselves may reach a level of understanding and thinking that would be of their own and not influenced by some college professor.</p>

<p>In the novel, Black Boy, Richard Wright is a southern African American boy with a passion for knowledge and inclination to rebellion. In his childhood he had been thoroughly beaten for questioning the world and its motives. One may think this would hinder his growth and learning but instead fueled it. He burned through books trying to understand why black people were treated differently, why they didn’t try to rebel, and what kept them ignorant. He ventured into libraries risking his life to borrow books. He skipped meals in order to purchase periodicals. He was a self-taught world class man.</p>

<p>Richard Wright, through his reading, had a better grasp of the world than many highly educated white men in America. His lack of education further sparked in him a passion, a fire, that would transform into is biographical novel sitting now classrooms across America. He overcame barriers and reached prosperity in a world that said “You can’t! Because you’re Black!” and he did this all without college education.</p>

<p>a 6…maybe a 7? The length killed the essay.</p>

<p>I would give this an 8 (two 4’s).
Very well written example, however include one or two more.
I gave it an 8 because it was very short. You have a good technique just make it longer. Also don’t forget to use vocab words!!!</p>

<p>i would give this a 7. </p>

<p>this essay lacks a personal feel, and a CONCLUSION. conclusions are the most important of all, along with intros. although a 5 paragraph essay might be hard to write in 25 minutes, you can squeeze it, with about 3-4 sentences per paragraph. i have written only 3-4 sentences per paragraph (mind you, they were concise and to the point), and still got a 10/12 on the SAT essay.</p>

<p>Your use of pronouns is incorrect! One … they themselves … their all in one sentence? eek! In fact, your second sentence in paragraph one is so cluttered in an effort to sound high-minded that it’s convoluted and confusing. </p>

<p>Then, you provided only one example to explain your POV. This is not enough. You should provide more examples, preferably in something other than in literature, that also supports your view. It was as if you had just read this novel in class and used the book and the author as examples. It would have been much stronger to give additional examples like something in history, for instance.</p>

<p>Be careful about your tone. This sounded quite biased, particularly because you didn’t cite factual data to support this.

In fact, the entire third paragraph addresses a different topic altogether.</p>

<p>Finally, you are missing a clear summary/conclusion that directly answers the question. It seemed you got distracted when writing about Richard Wright that you didn’t step away from that example to provide an answer to the bigger question.</p>

<p>Good vocabulary though. Overall: 5-6</p>