Could someone please evaluate my essay? I really need some help!

<p>Would anyone be willing to read and evaluate my essay please? I really want to be a doctor.. My SATs was an 1800 so I am trying to up my chances by writing a killer essay. My counseler and teachers have been really unhelpfull so far; so I really havn't had much guidance or critiquing with it. It would be really helpfull if some one could take five minutes out of their time to help me. Thank you soo much! I really appreciate it!</p>

<p>Colleges I am applying to
Siena College
St.John's University
Drexel University
Binghampton University
Stonybrook
USP
Fordham
NYIT
Cansius College
and Oestheopethic medical school in Camden</p>