<p>Here is a SAT essay that I wrote. It would be appreciated if you could grade this out of 12. Thank you :)</p>
<p>The prompt:</p>
<p>Do people need discipline to achieve freedom? Plan and write an essay in which you develop your point of view on this issue. Support your position with reasoning and examples taken from your reading, studies, experience, or observations.</p>
<p>Discipline is an essential ingredient in the making of freedom. Several examples from both history and present-day issues attest to this fact.</p>
<p>Martin Luther King brought about a revolutionary change within America, with most of the success attributed to the firm stance he took against the white people. Not only did he have the audacity to protest against the unfair social injustice oppressed on them, but he also called for reforms for the blacks; reforms that ensured the longevity of the blacks as not slaves but as masses in equanimity to the whites. This discipline was what helped amalgamate the blacks in to a single party. Had Martin Luther King called off the movement in exasperation of the astronomical number of people gathered, this movement would have abolished and the blacks would remain as they were.</p>
<p>Muhammad Ali Jinnah and Gandhi too used discipline as a means of attaining freedom from the British. The British had completely taken over India in the 1850s. After several failed expeditions against the British, local tribes and leaders soon felt succumbed to the British, giving up all hopes of any sort of freedom. Their failure was due to their lack of discipline both in state and in mind. However, both Jinnah and Gandhi used more subtle and calm approaches towards the British. They led marches and peaceful protests. There were several undignified protests that involved an upheaval of emotions held by the masses, but both these leaders ensured that the population was calm. Not only were they educated leaders willing to do sacrifice anything for the freedom of their people, but they wanted to ensure that whatever step was taken, it should have long-term benefits. Consequently, Pakistan and India achieved freedom from the British in 1947. It is this method that primarily differentiates the tribal leaders from Jinnah and Gandhi; one method that accentuated the British to capture more land, and the other that forced them to return lands.</p>
<p>Bear Grylls, a renowned expert on survival, too exercises discipline for his escapes from unknown remote islands in the middle of nowhere. A former soldier, Bear has been trained to endure the pain of wounds, hunger and thirst, all of which are common features when lost in a jungle or in the desert. The second he drops from his helicopter, he knows that no matter what happens to him, he has to devise the most ingenious technique, sometimes the only one in times of desperation, to escape. This in itself is also ‘freedom’; freedom from the clutches of death. And in this intricate process, he has to pay more attention to the methods of survival than himself. A normal human being on the other hand would do worry about himself, thereby thwarting any attempts to meticulously think about the ways out. It is this discipline, as a whole, that enables him to ultimately escape. </p>
<pre><code>After a careful analysis of each example, one may see that it is primarily discipline that works as the engine of the movement forgoing freedom. Without discipline, not only is failure guaranteed, but disastrous events too become inevitable. Having a strong discipline is one way to guarantee freedom.
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