Could someone please grade this SAT Essay? Could you also add examples you would use?

<p>Topic: Do violence and immorality in the media make our society more dangerous and immoral?</p>

<p>Captain Crawfish takes out a long hooked scythe. "Heeyah!" he cries and releases it, and it neatly the slashes the neck of another pirate, blood spurting everywhere. "GAME OVER" a mechanical voice says, and the screen goes blank. It is video games and television shows like the one mentioned above that cause many people to believe that media is corrupting our society. Yet these claims are utterly illogical for two main reasons: (a) violence was not borne by the media, and (b) immorality already exists - media is simply the deliverer of information. Media is conveniently there to take the blame for human mistakes. </p>

<p>Five thousand years ago, cavemen brutally beat each other up with clubs and logs of wood. One thousand years ago, ancient Egyptians shot flaming arrows at each other. Five hundred years ago. people were regularly hanged, stretched in racks and guillotined. A hundred years ago, when the television was born, people were shooting each other with guns, dropping bombs on each other, and the media became the fall guy for all these crimes. Humans were not ready to take the blame themselves, so the cause for violence in society was easily palmed off on the media. What "blameless" humans seem to forget, however, is that immorality and violence existed in society long before the media came into existence. </p>

<p>An atrocious murder is reported on the news channel, an arson in Florida causes waves in Wisconsin. A school shooting in Connecticut shocks the world, and who is blamed? The media, of course. A simple analogy will explain why this is totally illogical - if a man stabs someone with a knife, who is responsible for the murder? The man or the knife? The knife is merely the instrument, and in the same way, media is simply the means by which awareness of violence spreads. Even if the media didn't exist, crimes would still take place - we just wouldn't know about them. </p>

<p>So it is time to stand up and take responsibility for our fellow humans' mistakes. It is very easy to blame all the wrongs in society on that faceless entity called the "media", but we must acknowledge that the real problem is within ourselves, in human behaviour. We must realise that crimes have been around for much longer than the media, and media is exactly what it says - a "medium" through which news of violence and immorality spreads. Instead of blaming the idiot box, we should start blaming the idiot sitting in front of it.</p>