<p>I know it is difficult to have your son home, but I believe your son should be home where you could monitor him. Your other children can perhaps spend more time with grandparents, friends etc. in order to study and stay away. I wouldn’t cut him off monitarily completely, but you would have to tell him you expect him to account to you and your husband where he spends his money (and check to make sure it’s true). I would also check his sleeping habits because if he is up most of the night and sleeping during the day, their sleeping patterns are now off (it can be a big problem). I would make them set their alarm clock to get up at a certain time (perhaps 9 am) and as the days progress they will be too tired to stay up until 3 or 4 in the morning. Read up on sleep deprivation, it’s a big problem with college students. Having him go to a local college is probably your best solution and maybe college can wait, perhaps a full time job until you can get him evaluated. he should have a complete physical and a mental evaluation. I believe a military school would do him good but you can’t force him. Good luck to you.</p>
<p>Dogsandbirds…first as someone living in a surreal nightmare of sorts and very simliar to yours…my heart goes out to you and your family and especially your son, for as I am starting to try to understand and unravel the mystery behind depression, I put aside the anger and self pity. I was, at first left with a void and sadness but now its turning into a more proactive emotion-a desire to help him, and an unrelenting quest to get him better.</p>
<p>Make no mistake, though he is going through therapy and is on meds, about a ten day period so far…we have yet to really see any difference YET, it is too soon…but we expect to see things kick in within the next two weeks and are praying, like you cannot imagine that he will he start to free himself from the strangulation of depression that has taken control of his mind, body and soul. Also of the extreme social anxiety that has taken over my once happy, socially confident, able, fully functioning, teenager. We so badly want him back.</p>
<p>This is indeed the most painful thing my husband and I have ever gone through. This is all new to us, and its like we have entered a new way of living. I feel almost like l have 2 jobs, my day job and my nurse job which is of course, 24/7. We have our good days and our bad days, our days where its 2 steps forward and 1 step back. What I will say is now that we finally are getting him help…I do feel a sense of help, and a sense of slight relief in knowing that we are doing something positive towards getting him better.</p>
<p>I know how scary it must be to have to admit your son to the hospital but he will be safe there and you know he will get the best care for whatever he needs at this time. He will be in a safe place, and that is obviously the most important thing right now. Your love, and unconditional support is the single most important thing he can have, its the ONLY thing he knows for sure that he has. I know it is the same in our situation, that is why I just keep believing and will never stop, no matter what I have to do, what sacrifices I might personally have to make.</p>
<p>I will keep you in my prayers, your family and your son. Please share with us when you can, how he is doing and know that there are many here who you can open up to and who either have experienced a similar situation or who may be able to provide some helpful advice or at the very least a few comforting words. I cannot tell you enough, how much it meant to me, when I was at my absolute lowest point…to be able to hear from so many caring people on this board.</p>
<p>Dogsandbirds, whatever you are doing to keep your S talking to you, keep on doing it. He clearly has a great deal of inner strength to continue reaching out for help, and that strength and determination will be his greatest asset in recovering.</p>
<p>I had my own battles with depression, College was not exactly a stellar time for me (part of it was depression, part of it was the gifted kid syndrome where school came to easily for me, then when I hit the heavy stuff, had a hard time dealing with it). I could only wish I had the kind of parents who could recognize where I was having trouble and try to get me help, rather then assume I was lazy or whatever else it was they decided was wrong with me. </p>
<p>Wipedoutmom, one thing to keep in mind is that the meds your son is taking might not have an impact, sometimes it takes trying different meds to get one that works. With me, the various anti depressants caused worse problems then they supposedly were curing…it may take time to find the right mix. The good news is with the right meds and with therapy many people end up finding that middle ground they need.</p>
<p>Speaking as someone who worked his way out of depression, it isn’t linear, there are good and bad times, but there can be a light at the end:). I wish you, your family and your son all the good energy in the world. </p>
<p>Something my therapist told me when I was battling in the midst of all this has stuck with me, that when times are good we tend to think they will last forever, and therefore get depressed and think that is it, and that when times are bad we think they will never end, and get into the idea we are lost, and of course neither is true, the good times do end, the bad ones do come, but like the good times, the bad ones end, too, and we have to focus on that to get through. Not sure if it will help much, but focusing on the longer term does seem to help me when I slip and get down too far…</p>
<p>I’m not the OP but since several of you responded to my post I thought I would give a quick update. I must say the first two weeks I wasn’t sure how we would get through. Now that son is home and taking medication he is doing extremely well. He had a battery of tests and found that he also has Mono. </p>
<p>Most days son is back to the laughing, smiling, joking young man I sent off to college. Then there are the few days when he really just doesn’t feel like moving - not sure if it is the depression or the mono - but we take each day as it comes. I realize this is a slow journey but just knowing that there is help and hope makes it easier.</p>
<p>The first hint that S was getting better was the 3 trips to the kitchen in the middle of the night because he was hungry. The last few weeks while at school he would barely eat at all. </p>
<p>Thanks again for all the support.</p>