Could you please review my Common App essay? (Topic #1 on experience)

<p>Hi all,
I have just finished my Common App essay on personal experience and I would really like to get some feedback on it.
It would be great if any of you is interested in reading it and reviewing it.
Just leave a comment or PM and I will send you the essay.
Thank you all in advance!</p>

<p>p.s. just be sure that after the review, I will have gifts for you ;)</p>

<p>sure, you can pm me:)</p>

<p>chao em, I'll take a look if you want o_o
i'd prefer you emailing them to me at <a href="mailto:timmy16263@gmail.com">timmy16263@gmail.com</a> :]</p>

<p>PM it to me, please.</p>

<p>yes, I surely will but just be warned, I may be TOO critical</p>

<p>I'd be happy to read it...
if you’re worried about people stealing your essay feel free to email me at my school account
<a href="mailto:sxkamboj@ucdavis.edu">sxkamboj@ucdavis.edu</a></p>

<p>I'll read it! PM me.</p>

<p>Thank you! It would be great if you guys can leave an email so I can attach my essay to you. (I'm using Word and there are some format so it would be easier for me to send the whole document rather than plain text)</p>