<p><insert name=“” of=“” student=“”>'s calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd; no one fools <insert name=“” of=“” student=“”></insert></insert></p>
<p>Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. I<insert name=“” of=“” student=“”> can kill 100 percent of whatever the **** he wants. </insert></p>
<p>Some kids **** their name in the snow. <insert name=“” of=“” student=“”> can **** his name into concrete. </insert></p>
<p><insert name=“” of=“” student=“”> was originally cast as the main character in 24, but was replaced by the producers when he managed to kill every terrorist and save the day in 12 minutes and 37 seconds. </insert></p>
<p><insert name=“” of=“” student=“”> tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.</insert></p>
<p><insert name=“” of=“” student=“”> once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now The Islands.</insert></p>
<p><insert name=“” of=“” student=“”> counted to infinity - twice.</insert></p>
<p><insert name=“” of=“” student=“”> can speak braille. </insert></p>
<p><insert name=“” of=“” student=“”> owns the greatest Poker Face of all-time. It helped him win the 1983 World Series of Poker despite him holding just a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game Uno.</insert></p>
<p>Once, while having sex in a tractor-trailer, part of <insert name=“” of=“” student=“”> sperm escaped and got into the engine. We now know this truck as Optimus Prime. </insert></p>
<p><insert name=“” of=“” student=“”> can do a wheelie on a unicycle. </insert></p>
<p>If you spell <insert name=“” of=“” student=“”> wrong on Google it doesn’t say, “Did you mean <insert name=”" of=“” student=“”>?" It simply replies, “Run while you still have the chance.”</insert></insert></p>
<p><insert name=“” of=“” student=“”> does not sleep. He waits. </insert></p>
<p><insert name=“” of=“” student=“”> puts the “laughter” in “manslaughter”. </insert></p>
<p><insert name=“” of=“” student=“”> died ten years ago, but the Grim Reaper can’t get up the courage to tell him. </insert></p>
<p>Superman owns a pair of <insert name=“” of=“” student=“”> pajamas. </insert></p>
<p>Once a cobra bit <insert name=“” of=“” student=“”>'s leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died. </insert></p>
<p><insert name=“” of=“” student=“”> can slam revolving doors. </insert></p>
<p><insert name=“” of=“” student=“”> does not hunt because the word hunting implies the possibility of failure. <insert name=“” of=“” student=“”> goes killing.</insert></insert></p>
<p>When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for <insert name=“” of=“” student=“”>. </insert></p>
<p><insert name=“” of=“” student=“”> sleeps with a night light. Not because<insert name=“” of=“” student=“”> is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of <insert name=“” of=“” student=“”></insert></insert></insert></p>
<p>Giraffes were created when <insert name=“” of=“” student=“”> uppercutted a horse. </insert></p>
<p><insert name=“” of=“” student=“”>doesn’t read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants. </insert></p>
<p><insert name=“” of=“” student=“”>can delete the Recycling Bin. </insert></p>
<p><insert name=“” of=“” student=“”> doesn’t pop his collar, his shirts just get erections when they touch his body. </insert></p>
<p>On a school math test, <insert name=“” of=“” student=“”>put down “Violence” as every one of the answers. He got an A+ on the test because<insert name=“” of=“” student=“”>solves all his problems with Violence. </insert></insert></p>
<p>If it looks like chicken, tastes like chicken, and feels like chicken but <insert name=“” of=“” student=“”> says its beef, then it’s ****ing beef. </insert></p>
<p>If you play Led Zeppelin’s “Stairway to Heaven” backwards, you will hear <insert name=“” of=“” student=“”> banging your sister. </insert></p>
<p><insert name=“” of=“” student=“”> sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, <insert name=“” of=“” student=“”> roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn’t stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month. </insert></insert></p>
<p><insert name=“” of=“” student=“”>was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop. </insert></p>
<p>When <insert name=“” of=“” student=“”>gives you the finger, he’s telling you how many seconds you have left to live.</insert></p>
<p><insert name=“” of=“” student=“”>'s dog is trained to pick up his own poop because <insert name=“” of=“” student=“”>will not take **** from anyone.</insert></insert></p>
<p><insert name=“” of=“” student=“”> doesn’t have hair on his testicles, because hair does not grow on steel. </insert></p>
<p><insert name=“” of=“” student=“”> is not hung like a horse… horses are hung like<insert name=“” of=“” student=“”></insert></insert></p>
<p><insert name=“” of=“” student=“”> can kill two stones with one bird</insert></p>