Critique my Common App EC/Short Answer Essay?

<p>Would really appreciate someone looking over my EC essay! Let me know if you're interested and thanks in advance!</p>

<p>Also - I wasn't sure what the style they're aiming for in this essay... direct? personal? detailed descriptions of involvement in the EC? emotional connection? I chose to write personally, and didn't have much detail on what exactly I do in the EC but talked about why I was doing it and what it means to me... what do you guys think?</p>

<p>Sure, PM me</p>