Critique my Common App Essay? :D

College Essays
1

<p>I have a draft I've been working on and off on for quite a while now. I finally decided to go with this topic after much debating, but now I need to do some serious editing and I'm getting desperate for advice. I'm applying ED to Columbia so I have a week and a couple days. D:</p>

<p>I NEED CRITIQUING BADLY.
BUT - I will only send established CCers my essays. So - over 100 posts, preferably someone NOT currently in high school (unless you want to swap essays), etc. :) I'll send it to whoever I feel comfortable with editing.</p>

<p>Please feel free to be very harsh.</p>

<p>Also, it is approx. 630 words. It is not going to get a whole lot shorter than that unless I am able to take out unnecessary fluff without losing flow/content. I know some people say it shouldn't be over 550 words, but I would prefer that you not focus on this issue, but more the content & flow.</p>

<p>Thanks SO much in advance. :)
Naomi</p>

2

<p>bump
10char</p>

3

<p>I’ll be a critic.PM me your essay and I’ll tell you of any errors.</p>

4

<p>I’m a HS senior so I’ll swap with you ok? I’ll PM you mine.</p>

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<p>I also need someone to edit my essay, would you want to swap? I am applying ED Yale, so I also have a week left.</p>