Critique my CommonApp essay please?

<p>Hey guys, I'm a new member here and just got done with my applications yesterday. Since I'm done now, I would like your comments and opinions on the exact essay that I wrote in the Common Application. Please let me know if you'd like to read it. Thanks!</p>

<p>I would gladly read it, mind checking out my essay?
(It’s posted in the thread “Anyone with a great essay?”)
By the way, cool username ;)</p>

<p>Sure, I’m PM-ing mine to you, and letting you know my comments about your essay as soon as possible.</p>

<p>About the username, I know ;)</p>

<p>bump</p>

<p>I’d like some more reviews of my essay please! :)</p>