Critique my essay? It's short and my first draft.

College Essays
1

<p>It's for the common app under the "environment you feel most comfortable in" </p>

<p>This is my first draft. It's only 253 words. I just need some guidance on what to elaborate on and what I should change etc. etc. </p>

<p>I think you either PM me or email me right? I don't know I've never done this before.</p>

<p>Thank you!</p>

2

<p>I have another essay too if you wouldn’t mind reading, it a completely different one. It’s for Montclair State “Send us page 42 of your autobiography” and it’s written in the POV of a 4th grader.</p>

3

<p>I can try to help! :)</p>

4

<p>I’ll read both…just PM me! :)</p>