Critique my essay?

<p>To those that are willing to offer constructive criticism on my essay, please let me know here and I will PM it to you. Thanks!</p>

<p>Edit: What I would like looked at is not an actual essay, but rather something I wrote at 3am during the summer and forgot about until just now. I'm wondering if I could work it enough to be a decent college application essay. It's not long, either. Any assistance will be greatly appreciated! :)</p>