Critique my "Why UPenn" essay...?

<p>I'm apply to The Wharton School with an interest in management/organizational effectiveness. I'll PM anyone who isn't apply to UPenn. Also, I'm willing to read one of your essays if you read mine. Thanks!</p>

<p>I already submitted my application for Penn, so no worries about me plagiarizing your work, or any other conflicts of interest. If you still aren’t comfortable with me reading your essay, I perfectly understand, but I’m willing to peer review. If you’d like, you PM me your Penn essay and I’ll PM you my supplements for University of Virginia (they’re short, 2 short answers, each less than 300 words in length).</p>

<p>Sure, I can help revise your essay. Don’t worry, I’m not applying to UPenn, and I’ve already submitted my essays for the rest of my colleges.</p>

<p>I actually just got accepted ED to Rice and they had the same questions…
PM me yours and I’ll critique it</p>

<p>Im not applying to upenn! pm me yours! but can you read mine (for stanford) as well?</p>

<p>I’ll read it and not applying to UPenn</p>