Critique/Review an essay?

<p>Hi there,</p>

<p>I was wondering if anyone would be willing to review/critique my common apps essay. I'v edited a few times, but am having trouble cutting down the words without losing its essence.</p>

<p>I'm really open to any comments, and would love feedback on it!</p>

<p>Thank you!</p>

<p>I’ll take a look.</p>