Critique the opening of my essay (applying to HSM)

College Essays
1

<p>Hi there,</p>

<p>I was hoping that some of you (non 14ers) could critique the opening of my essay. I tend to have bad habits when it comes to writing so hopefully some of you super critical people out there can provide some good feedback.</p>

<p>Please if you're a '14er, I'm not keen on sending you my essay, particularly if you joined in 2009 and have very few posts. It's a bit shady.</p>

<p>Thanks</p>

2

<p>Bumpjumpgumpdump.</p>

3

<p>well hi, I am a 2014-er, but I thought, since no one replied to your thread yet, if you want, you can send it to me:)</p>

<p>Otherwise, consider this a bump!</p>