Culture Shock: Going to School outside your area...any surprises?

Parents Forum
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<p>How difficult is it to adapt to different regions of the country? West Coast kids that go to Midwest schools? Northeast kids that go to Southern schools? Etc.</p>

<p>I'm a California person and I spent a few days in the midwest, and there is a difference. I'm a little old now, but I have to say, I don't think I would have liked going to school in the midwest. I'm not saying one region of the country is better than another (OK California is better). </p>

<p>This thread isn't about how good a particular school is, it is about people's experiences when they go far away to school?</p>

<p>Culture shock?</p>

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<p>None yet, but my parents, in an attempt to dissuade me from going too far away for college, told me that the Chinese food from the east coast is way different than that on the west coast.</p>

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<p>I grew up in suburban to rural Georgia, and now I go to school in Manhattan. In my experience, there are certainly differences (like when I talked about how my school had prayer clubs and Fellowship of Christian Students, etc, people from CA, NY, etc were surprised). One thing to consider is where are the rest of the students coming from. My school is pretty well mixed with kids from all over the country and abroad; it might be harder if I had come from GA and gone to a school in Manhattan with only Manhattanites and people from Long Island. Other than the minor differences, kids are kids are kids no matter where they come from.</p>

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<p>theothermuse: it is. My cousin from California, a freshman at an east coast school, is horrified at what can pass for Chinese food here. Forget about Japanese food. I can vouch for going the other way - I live in the east but visit family in CA frequently and the food is pretty much unrecognizable. </p>

<p>I will stay in the northeast for college, but my big concern is going from a small town to a big city. Most of my schools are in rural settings, but there are two in major cities and I could wind up at either of them. I worry about how a small-town girl like myself (I live in rural-ish suburban NJ - I don't think it's that rural, my town might not have much but there's very little you can't find in a 30-40 minute radius...though friends who have lived elsewhere are quite adamantly about labeling us "rural") might adapt to a city. I'm not one who has a burning desire to leave this town and experience city life.</p>

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<p>South to NE. D is afraid to try the Mexican food, but other than that, no culture shock. The politics is different, and that colors people's thinking, but she adjusted to that very quickly. She had friends here with different politics, as well. She has made friends from all over the country, and they all seem to have adjusted well. Interestingly, most of her friends are not from the south. But she was raised with a lot of culture, travelled to different countries, and is very adaptable to different cultures. Her first choice school was in NE, but she was rejected, then her second choice was in Midwest, but FA was bad. She loved both areas, and wound up in NE. I don't think she will ever return to the south. She loves the weather and the people. BTW, have had Chinese food in CA (San Francisco and LA), Midwest, and South, yet the best I have ever had was in NE. Go figure! It depends on who does the cooking, and who their suppliers are. D visited Chinese friend in Boston and they went for Chinese and had the best Dim Sum she ever had.</p>

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<p>While my kids grew up on the East Coast and are at colleges on the East Coast, I'd have to say that they are in settings that are the OPPOSITE from where they grew up. They opted for that, so all is good. We live in rural Vermont....on a dirt road, in the mountains....no traffic lights in our town, no fast food....things close rather early.....no shopping but gift shops and artisans....no public transportation, can't walk to anything, and so on. When my husband and I settled in Vermont after graduate school, I knew it was a great place to bring up kids (and it has been) and figured that when they grew up and went to college, they'd try living some place completely different and thus have tried two environments and be better able to know what they may want down the line for their adult lives. </p>

<p>My first child is at Brown which is urban, though the school is not located smack downtown but in walking distance of downtown. The setting is ideal to her and she loves it. She wanted to be able to walk to things off campus. She has never spoken of cultural shock but it certainly is a major shift in lifestyle. Her school itself is WAY bigger than our town's population. </p>

<p>Second daughter is at NYU....can't think of any place more extremely opposite from her home town. She wanted it badly and has always LOVED NYC and I imagine she may make her life there after college given her field is theater. She just arrived back this hour and couldn't wait to return. I think the population of her dorm alone is similar to our entire town :D. Her lifestyle now is SO different than at home....the setting of course....and just everything about her experience. She loves it. For me, it is more of a "shock" to MY system to think of her making her way in the city....a kid who has never done anything remotely like get on public transportation, walk places, just nothing like she does now. She never spent a day in the city alone before getting to college. The nightlife alone is night and day to here. Here she might go over a friend's house or see a movie (and has to drive 25 miles just to do that). I just came home from a local pub where we went to hear some music (ironically the musician was a professor from Brown) and here it is a holiday weekend and I live in a resort area....albeit it is below zero out....but it was like nobody was out and whoever was there left early and I'm thinking....geez, my kid who just landed in NYC was talking on the phone with her college buds before boarding the plane back and making plans to go out to a local pub in the city and so while the handful of people in the one here were all going home, her night is just starting! </p>

<p>Anyway, I could go on and on about the major contrasts...just the people alone....here they are all white....there people are from every race and nationality (she remarks about these contrasts all the time).....here, no movie theater, but there is a complex across the street from her dorm with many theaters in it (not counting the entire city)....here you walk to nothing....there she walks MANY blocks every day. Here if you need to buy something...major trip or use a catalogue....there, you can get anything and also at any time of day (not only don't we have much to buy in our town but even the local shops close at 6 PM. Here there is no concrete......and the tall things are mountains and there it is just buildings. Here, everyone knows your name....there? you are just a face on the street. Here....nobody is out on the street (though frankly with wind chills well below....) but there, at any time of night...loads of folks on the street. There you can see any show you want...just about anything. Rarely a major concert passes through here. Here...we have no billboards in our state.....there, well, just look at Times Square! Here....we have no fast food......not even a McDonalds in our state capital.....there? NYC...need I say more? there are a zillion restaurants on every block. </p>

<p>While I find it cultural shock every time I go into the city.....and it is a huge contrast for my kids......it is in a good way for them...they WANTED that....they adjusted completely to it. They come home....it is SO different.....and even their friends are different than the types at college but they love them both. Just two very very different lifestyles they lead between home and college. </p>

<p>Susan</p>

<p>PS...I'll add about clothing too. Kids in NYC...dress differently than in VT. My daughter has a winter jacket (out of down) and a wool coat. She brought both home. I never saw the wool coat on her and remarked about that and she said, "that is more my NYC coat...people wear that style there but not the kids in VT."</p>

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<p>Like other posters, I don't think it's location in the US that makes the difference but more city to rural or rural to city and the make up of the student body. </p>

<p>We're from a small town in PA and daughter is at a small college in a rural part of Illiniois. However, her high school had about 10 kids out of 1,000 that were not white. Her college has 14% international students and 100% of our religion. Her HS had 4 kids - her brother and another brother-sister combo of our religion. Also, I think the out of state number is 92% so there's not much going home for the weekend happening. So, big difference but location in the US is probably not the biggest one.</p>

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<p>Kathie...I should also add that my kids were one of just a couple at most at their HS of our religion and that is another contrast because at both their colleges, they are no longer "different" that way...there are lots of kids/friends of their religion which is a novelty to them. Like your kids, as well, my kids' HS was ALMOST all white. Not so at all at college. So, just the population make up (let alone the NUMBER) at both my kids' colleges is WAY different than here in HS.
Susan</p>

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<p>We Californians can experience culture shock by just traveling around our own diverse state...we don't really have to go cross country. </p>

<p>But back in the day, I went from living 6 miles from Berkeley all my life to a Jesuit Catholic college in Detroit. Back then, I met some of the nicest people in the world who were mostly from Pennsylvania, Indiana and Ohio, but most (not all) Detroit people were cold and impersonal. I only lasted one year and came back to Cali, never to leave again!</p>

<p>During spring break, I took a bus ride from Detroit to Toronto, to Montreal and then to Boston/Cambridge. Canadians back then were extremely courteous and Toronto was the cleanest city I had ever seen. I attempted to hitch hike from Boston to Detroit (don't try this now kids!), got stuck in Sandusky, Ohio overnight, hitched back to Cleveland, and took a boring bus ride back to Detroit.</p>

<p>Detroit was my first experience with snow and wind chills. I remember me and my dorm mates drinking and playing football in the snow at 2 am, when it was 2 degress, but -12 degrees with the wind chill factor...as if a punk like me, from Cali, could even tell the difference between 2 and -12. They (not me) also played hockey in the hallway all night long. Going to midnight mass (I'm not Catholic) on Saturday night was an interesting and fun way to bond with by dorm mates.</p>

<p>My roommate, a 3rd year engineering transfer student from a little town called Simpson, PA, had a car (yea !!). If you're away from home, alway find a dorm mate with a car. It's great to be able to get off campus once in a while.</p>

<p>!!! ALL CATHOLIC BOYS ARE PERVERTS !!!
especially those who came from a boarding school environment. I had never heard of a daisy chain or circle jerk until I went to Catholic school.</p>

<p>No, I did not participate!</p>

<p>I, an AA, almost purchased a KKK shroud from a dorm mate who came from Bad Axe, Michigan (near the northern tip), because I had never seen or heard of a red one before. But I chickened out. My family would not have understood the satire (to say the least).</p>

<p>To this day, they don't know that I spent spring break hitch hiking around, just for the adventure. Black kids just didn't do that.</p>

<p>As crazy and depressing as Detroit was, it was culturally enriching for me as I roamed around the city experiencing life. I was never afraid, but was always aware of the environment.</p>

<p>The college has changed a lot. I used to say that Catholics who couldn't get in the Notre Dame ended up at UDetroit. Now, the school is very "urban" and probably has fallen completely off the radar of most students with any kind of serious academic goals. The engineering, architecture and dental program used to have a fairly good reputation. It seemed to be a decent school back in the day though.</p>

<p>It was actually through UDetroit that I heard of Silicon Valley, which was 60 miles from where I grew up. Engineering students would come out to companies like Intel and National Semiconductor for a semester to "work in the field." </p>

<p>Talk about culture shock. SV was definitely a different world than where I came from, which now has a rep of being the murder capital of California. </p>

<p>I am glad that I experienced at least one year outside of my state, but I'm spoiled living in Silicon Valley, and will probably never leave.</p>

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<p>About going from a mid-sized, Northeastern, rust-belt kind of city to Nashville, my daughter said that there was a very real culture shock, "but it's all been fun." One aspect she's identified as quite different from home: she sees good manners everywhere she goes on campus and in town, and finds them lacking when she comes home (that may be a "Southern hospitality" kind of cliche, but she insists it's true).</p>

<p>I think bing's point above about where every one else on campus comes from is a good one. Vanderbilt is undeniably a southern school, but it's made a strong effort to enroll increasingly diverse students (geographically as well as ethnically), so my d doesn't feel as if she's the only person who didn't grow up with a southern mindset. Other differences she's noted: the importance of church (not that church is unimportant elsewhere, it's just very important in the South) and sorority affiliations. Many of her southern friends have been raised with the expectation that they'll join a sorority and see numerous benefits to doing so, apart from the partying aspect, which in my perhaps narrowminded "Eastern" way of thinking was the primary reason kids went Greek.</p>

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<p>The biggest culture shock I have heard of is regarding liberal mindset kids who have gone from the northeast to southern schools. Our GC has also said that that is the group most likely to transfer. We have a friend whose son was originally very unhappy at UVa, although he adapted and now loves the place and know people who have moved down south who tell us their daughter is told regularly that she is going to hell by well meaning "friends" because she does not attend church on a regular basis. It's important to be informed as to demographics of the school if this might be an issue for your child. For example, schools like Emory, Tulane and Wash U, despite their locations draw a ton of northeasterners.</p>

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<p>There's been a thread on this before, but I think one big difference from region to region is linguistics. Coming from NY to Chicago, I had to learn that a scoop of ice cream was a dip, and that a paper bag was a sack.</p>

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<p>"I had to learn that a scoop of ice cream was a dip, and that a paper bag was a sack."
LOL. As a former ice cream server, the ice cream dip thing killed me. It's one of my biggest pet peeves ever (yeah, I'm weird).</p>

<p>True, the Chinese food may be different, but like I told my parents, "I'm not going to college for the Chinese food!"</p>

<p>I think I got my first culture shock when I first moved right before middle school. I lived in an extremely urban area and was constantly exposed to people of all races- I never noticed race until it disappeared when I moved to the suburbs! The town I live in now was once all white though now it's predominantly white and Asian. We have around 12 black kids at our school of 3000+.</p>

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<p>I merely moved from upstate NY to downstate NY and had extreme culture shock.</p>

<p>Sometimes culture shock is good, sometimes it's bad.</p>

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<p>I go to school in NE and come from the deep South. We argue whether the thing that you push in the grocery store is a shopping cart or a buggy. And no, southern hospitality is not just a cliche. I think I give the people who work at the dining hall and the store clerks a shock when I say "Yes sir, thank you." Also, having the door slam in your face when your arms are full... that was something I had to get used to. </p>

<p>The weather is the worst of all. But while my NEer friends have stories about how cold it is, I merely retort with severe weather stories of my own, stories that would make the Weather Channel's "Storm Stories" The kids from Miami and I have a certain amount of street cred. with our weather experiences. Yay torrential rains!</p>

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<p>I'm from London and moved to South Georgia, the biggest shock for me is how nice everyone is even complete strangers. I play on the soccer team, so I go home with some of my teammates familys for weekends or over holidays and they go out of their way to make me feel comfortable. </p>

<p>So I had a huge culture shock but most of the things were good!</p>

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<p>Coming from upstate NY to central NC was a bit of a culture shock, but mostly in good ways. I really enjoy the different food and definitely the weather. But truly, the most culture shock thing was the southern hospitality. This is not a myth! Everyone is so polite. Although chapel hill is decidedly "less southern" than the rest of NC (in my opinion) it definitely is pretty different.</p>

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<p>From Midwest to East (Urban). Something I've experienced in my work life is the sometimes shock of a friendly, open midwesterner interacting with an urban east coaster. Personally, I was put off by the aggresive, direct and competitive nature of the people I dealt with in NY, Philly, Boston. Anything to that when it comes to college?</p>

<p>It's important to me because S is seriously thinking Columbia and we are from a rural small town in Michigan.</p>

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<p>My son, in going from Pacific Northwest to Midwest (Indiana), did not so much experience culture shock, as weather shock. He said Indiana is much too hot and humid in the summer and much too cold in the winter. He misses good old Oregon rain. Oh, and the other big thing he misses, as a snowboarder, is mountains! :)</p>

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<p>
[quote]
We Californians can experience culture shock by just traveling around our own ...state

[/quote]
</p>

<p>'Nuff said.</p>

<p>Sociable kids should be able to find their people wherever they are in the US--unless they didn't pick a good fit. Certain cities might present more culture shock; eg Miami, Manhattan. Weather shock is mostly what my son complains about. </p>

<p>Non-social introverts might suffer culture shock a bit more. </p>

<p>btw.....St Louis is not a southern city. It is a midwestern city.</p>