<p>After reading a few threads on this "side" of the parent board, it dawned on me that many parents are creating a student's initial list - long or short - of schools to look at. I have three children - two have graduated college, one is a senior knee-deep in the process. </p>
<p>Thinking it over, child #1 was a combo - probably 50/50 of her searching schools and me suggesting schools for a "look at" list according to her interests. #2, a son, probably more 75 me/25 him - he was the overextended student/athlete who couldn't seem to find the time to investigate schools and absorb that info in his mind as a junior/senior - sort of a mistake I think he regrets a bit now that he is done with college - he ended up choosing a small private, but thinks he might have enjoyed a bigger school now that it's said and done. #3, a daughter, again I would say 60/40 - her taking the lead - she has taken the process pretty seriously and has enjoyed the "looking" process in front of a computer - and even more on foot at college visits.</p>
<p>So how about your household? Who makes the starting short list of schools to look at? Hoping that students have a fair about of say on the starting process! </p>
<p>With our daughter, we didn’t have a list at all. Once she started making her list, we’d say things like “If you like Scripps, why not look at Bryn Mawr?” With our son, it’s a different story. He really needs more help. My husband and I took turns driving him to colleges all over the northeast before even starting with a list, just to see the variety that’s out there. He only like one school, so we came up with a list of schools that we think would be similar to the one he liked. And that is where we are right now, asking him to look at the schools on the list, as soon as he gets his ED application in this week.</p>
<p>Agreed, every kid is different. But I do seem to see situations where PARENTS seem in charge of the list with little input - at least initially - from the student. </p>
<p>HS kids probably have little idea on colleges except for a few that are popular or in the area. Inputs from parents, teachers, and advisers are critical. Campus visit is also crucial for the student to get a feel on what kind of school they like. My D came up with a few and I suggested some more that are similar to her choices. We decided on the final list after campus visit and going through the school information and NPCs together. One safety school was planned for RD but turned out to be not necessary. At the end, she made the final enrollment decision. Of course, only schools that are affordable after the FA packages are considered.</p>
<p>The kids made the choices, but there was a lot of discussion with me (oddly, not with my husband, who didn’t get involved except to veto choices he didn’t like). The counselors had nothing to do with it.</p>
<p>I compiled the spreadsheet with tons of very detailed info but very few schools. It took be about 2 years to develop, I presented this list to my kid. I did not think that she would accepted it, I just had fun with it. She did, sorted it in priority and eventually attended #2 on this list, since #1 while accepting her with great Merit award, rejected her from the program that she was interested. Boy, it was such a luck, you never guess that rejection may be the best thing that happens. Any way, apparently she liked that list so much that later she asked me to develop a similar one for her Med. Schools. This task was much eisier, since I knew clearly her criteria. She applied accordingly with the 50% success, which was her goal.
More recently, we have developed the list of residencies to apply, again, together. She actually requested my help for the alck of time. This one was the easiest of the 3. Waiting for result…</p>
<p>With my oldest son, he pretty much came up with his list. Because he was a National Merit Finalist, we insisted that he look at one school that would have an outstanding financial package just in case he did not get into an Ivy, MIT or Duke. We also told him he needed one, in-state school on the list. He ended up going to the school with the outstanding National Merit package and graduated debt-free. He is now in law school – again, he has a full tuition scholarship and will graduate with only a small amount of debt. With the second son, he had just one school on his list. We told him he needed to add others. In the end, he changed up his requirements for a school. He wanted to run cross country/track, attend a school with a strong STEM program and gain as much merit money as he could so he could limit his student debt. He got a full tuition scholarship at a school with outstanding STEM programs and can run.</p>
<p>My oldest said he wanted some place good for computer science. He knew MIT and Stanford were good, but was dragging his feet about determining what else might be on his list. He asked me to give him a list so I did.</p>
<p>With younger son, the process was more dragged out. We talked a lot about his interests (not STEM) and what might be good majors for him. He thought he wanted a school “bigger than his high school” and “not in the country” and “with a campus not like NYU” and “not a big Greek presence”. </p>
<p>In Februrary of Junior year we made a day trip to Vassar and Bard. Neither were bigger than his high school, but Vassar seemed like it might be big enough and ended up staying on his list. Bard he hated - mostly because it was too much in the country. I told him that I wasn’t suggesting either school, in fact I suspected he wouldn’t like Bard - but I wanted him to see what LACs could offer and just verify that what he thought he wanted was confirmed from a few visits.</p>
<p>In April we looked at Brandeis and Tufts, in September at GW, American and Georgetown. He looked at Penn with friends. I suggested he apply to Chicago, but he didn’t visit before he applied. </p>
<p>Anyway most of the suggestions were mine (since I was the one who’d spent the last four years on CC), but he was the one who made the choice of what would be on the list.</p>
<p>I handed the Fiske Guide to Getting Into the Right College to D, said to take a look at the One Hour College Finder chapter and highlight schools that looked interesting. She came back with said highlighted schools. We also visited various types of colleges and universities. After it became clear she wanted small liberal arts, I gave her the book, Colleges That Change Lives. She picked some schools and I picked some more. Then I went through each college, ran the NPC and took out schools that were too expensive. I took her to two college fairs, including the CTCL one. That changed the list a bit. </p>
<p>In the end, it’s clear that I provided D with a curated pool of colleges but I think if she had to go through 500+ schools, she would have shut down. Even a list of 50+ schools was a lot for her to investigate and digest to come up with 7-10 schools.</p>
<h1>1: Our son was not interested in spending any time on college search until he had to. He was totally absorbed in debate, among other things. Didn’t want to read websites or guidebooks. Didn’t want to visit colleges. But he wanted to apply to schools where it was “okay to think” and where discussions weren’t dominated by intellectual poseurs. Otherwise, he preferred schools that were in large cities but he didn’t restrict the list in that way. His initial and final list of 7 colleges was based on suggestions by us. He didn’t add any. He subtracted a couple after the results came in, in one case after a post-admission visit to the college (Williams), where he didn’t like the isolation or the atmosphere. The “winner” was University of Chicago: for intellectual atmosphere, big city location, big time (major league) sports. He made an “accepted students overnight” and the next morning pronounced: “This will do.” End of decision-making. Probably his second choice among the accepted schools would have been University of Michigan (honors college) with big time major college sports, located in a town he was familiar with from summer debate camps.</h1>
<h1>2: For our daughter identifying a list of schools had to start de novo because she wanted to attend an art college and to live in a big city in the East. Getting her interested in even one university with a major art/design college/department within it was difficult. She did not want to apply to the instate flagship (UMich). She did apply to one university, however: Carnegie Mellon, whose decided disadvantage to her was its location. Together we did the basic research to compile a list, and she asked for advice from teachers and attended two National Portfolio Day events. My wife and I took my daughter and a classmate of hers on a whirlwind tour of 11 colleges in ten days ranging between Oberlin and Colby, with mainly art programs in between. She applied to 6 colleges and was admitted to all. Attended: Rhode Island School of Design (RISD). Not in a big city but she decided Providence was a “real city” that was also accessible by 3-4 hour train/bus ride to NYC (she was much less interested in Boston, just 1 hour away). She liked the few courses she was able to take at Brown as well.</h1>
<p>Of course I came up with a starter list! How else would my kids have known about some of the great, fabulous schools in other parts of the country?? They weren’t going to hear about then in school or from their guidance counselors. </p>
<p>My kids did. Then I added some, DH added, kids added some from listening to talk with friends, relatives, neighbors. Counselors were of zero help in this regard. </p>
<p>The final list, I was active in forming with each kid, though they often added and culled themselves after we came up with a semi final version.</p>
<p>We had a starter list of about 20 schools and said -these are starters, do whatever research you like, then come back to us with the ones you like and we will plan visits accordingly. </p>
<p>Included in there were places like Bowdoin, Bates, Colby, Wm and Mary, Haverford - places that just aren’t on radar screens out here. </p>
<p>The school GCs would have been useless and their friends tended to just want U of I for the most part. I felt it was my job to open their eyes to other possibilities. </p>
<p>I don’t even know who first suggested schools - but it is D who decides whether she wants to apply or not. Exception - she asked ne to find good scholarship safeties so I came up with those schools, and she decided which ones to try for.
Funny, H also sees his role as having veto power. A couple he vetoed outright based on campus crime. Some of the others on he just points out their negatives to make sure D doesn’t have them on the top of her list. He’s very rank conscious.</p>
<p>Oh I forgot, the GC gave both my kids a computer generated list that Naviance spit out. They were actually pretty reasonable lists as I recall. </p>
<p>My kids came up with their starter lists by researching schools in guide books and online. They took notes on every school. Then, they discussed it with me. Upon seeing their lists, I may have suggested a school or two. Then, we planned visits. So, while discussion took place, the kids came up with the lists and the research. Same with grad school admissions. It’s the student’s process. I think they should own it. I consider parents (or others) as facilitators who can help discuss with the kids what they come up with and if need be, make some suggestions. I have seen students (I work with applicants) whose parents do all the research and list building and then consult with their kids. My own kids did the opposite of that. </p>