Curious - Who Chose The Schools on Your Child's Starting List - you or your kid?

<p>That somehow doesn’t make it sound any less insulting to those of us who sacrifice out time to get our kids the best educational opportunity available (which may not be “elite private high schools” - in some cases it’s getting out of failing public zoned high schools, into either private schools or charter schools that don’t provide transportation).</p>

<p>Sigh. </p>

<p>Look - by the time my oldest was in HS, we had NO IDEA about local magnet school options and reasonable private HS. I do think there is a difference between someone who moves to an area with eh public schools and <em>knows</em> that their children will go to a magnet, charter, alternative, or private school in HS and plans their life accordingly (like people in NYC know that they have to get their kids tested and into lotteries even for middle school) and the 90% of us who take the public schools we can get.</p>

<p>Right now, we are looking at votech for one of my kids, and he would have gone to a magnet perhaps (associated with the votech HS) IF the GC we asked about it helped us find out. He missed the deadline in 8th grade and he had to enter as a freshman. Clearly, parents need to know about it in time, with a September of 8th grade deadline to attend at all.</p>

<p>So there is an implication that either you are super on the ball and aware of options in your community one way or another, or you have time and money to look into those options. I guess maybe that is insulting?</p>

<p>I have neither the time nor the money to look into them, and my childrens’ GCs (in the middle school) have not helped in that regard.</p>

<p>Therefore, there is a far greater chance that my youngest would end up at a magnet HS than my older ones (chance is obviously over for them).</p>

<p>Yes, you make choices, but being <em>aware</em> of those choices does set you apart. Maybe you have a really active parent organization that clued you in, in time. Maybe you knew about the options already. Most of us don’t.</p>

<p>The idea that my 7th grader would have had to know that they wanted to target a (specific) magnet HS by beginning of 8th grade is very difficult, even now knowing what I know.</p>

<p>'That somehow doesn’t make it sound any less insulting to those of us who sacrifice out time to get our kids the best educational opportunity available (which may not be “elite private high schools” - in some cases it’s getting out of failing public zoned high schools, into either private schools or charter schools that don’t provide transportation)."</p>

<p>If the shoe doesn’t fit, don’t wear it!</p>

<p>Parent told me how much money they would spend. I have done everything else</p>

<p>rhandco-here’s what we did and why. My two older kids spent much of their growing up years in another state in a small but wealthy town where, like PG’s district, kids went where they were assigned. This works very well for many-it’s district with enough money to provide great options for kids who aren’t in need of any kind of alternative education, and go to elite or at least selective colleges. Fom the time they started school, my ex and I were always reading, researching, looking for options. My ex had grown up hating school because he never felt challenged or accepted and our son was a clone of my ex in many ways.</p>

<p>Fast forward to the teen years and here I was in Seattle where I learned about school choice, AND the ability to send kids to other districts as space allows. I also discovered that you can get almost anywhere by public transportation and some planning. So there are Seattle kids who take light rail, the bus, the ferry even, to other schools in other districts. And I began surfing websites of these many schools and many districts and learned that my kids had options that could be almost custom-made for them. And yes, it took time. As well, our own district allows middle school kids to tour high schools and parents to meet HS teachers and principals. So we took the time to ask around and take tours as well as reading the websites. We did very little with the guidance counselors.</p>

<p>If you’re asking ME if I feel super aware or super on the ball, the answer is no. But hearing my ex say that his happiest moment in 12 years of school was LEAVING it, and wanting my kids to not ever feel that way prompted me to do some digging. I never expected anyone to lay a path for me (us). I always felt it was part of my job to do the best I could to keep my kids from hating all 12 years (13 if you add kindergarten) of school.</p>

<p>So it seems normal to me for my kids to have a large role in their educational choices, whether we’re talking about high school or college. I happily do my own research, but I expected them to be a part of the decision making. At one time I had money to even choose private options (ex and I) but that’s not necessary here, which is a good thing, because I do not have that kind of income any longer. I do MAKE time though, to investigate. I learned long ago that just trusting the schools to tell me everything I need to know leads parents to missing a great deal. And that’s no matter the income level. This isn’t a knock on schools, or teachers or administrators, btw. For the most people, it’s fine just going to school, doing the work and moving on. I wanted more for my kids.</p>

<p>The private schools don’t have bussing? When I was growing up, I took a 45 minute bus ride to my private school and I’m pretty sure the same thing happens here for the kids who don’t attend our pretty good high school.</p>

<p>But back to the topic… The original list had some schools I thought my kid would hate, because I wanted him to look at them and see what they had to offer and consider whether those were things he should be looking at at other schools that weren’t so easy to visit. So for example I dragged my kid off to Bard so he could see what small seminar classes and doing a senior thesis was like and hear directly from students why they liked it. I knew he would hate the location and he did, but he liked Vassar well enough that it stayed on his list even though it was small enough.</p>

<p>My D and I chose together. She wants to major in neuroscience. We researched the schools that have this major and made a list that included safeties, matches and reaches. Geographical location weighed heavily. She’s already been accepted to her safety with a generous merit scholarship. It may all come down to the most affordable option.</p>

<p>“For the most people, it’s fine just going to school, doing the work and moving on. I wanted more for my kids.”
Huh? </p>

<p>///\ Someone mentioned that they didn’t have the time to research/tour all the high school options that might be possible. My kids were all very different and not one size fits all students. I felt it was my job to find the best fit for them by researching, reading, touring and asking questions to find the right spot for them, with their input.Just sending them to the nearest school would not have worked for two of the three. </p>

<p>Perhaps you wanted “different” not “more” for your kids?</p>

<p>Post 165- Our private, Catholic and VoTech high schools do NOT have bussing. Here in PA bussing is based on your public school District and since our public is not legal required to bus, we are on our own. </p>

<p>@Pizzagirl - just trying to figure out what shoe fits. You say only ladies who lunch can be bothered sending kids to schools other than zoned schools. That shoe doesn’t fit me and many other parents. When your state ranks in the bottom 10% for schools in the country, if you want your kids to get the best foundation possible for college, you figure out your options and find a way to make it work. I wish I could have sent my kids to the locally zoned high school - would have saved me in tuition, transportation, time, you name it. But that’s ok, continue to denigrate people whose experiences differ from yours.</p>

<p>Chill, there is no reason for comparative analysis, OP did not ask to figure out the best ways, they were just curious, at least, the name of the thread says so. There are no best ways or worst ways in regard to decision making at any level of academics. There is just a certain route each family choose that seems to fit a family at the time of decision making. There is no quarantee that it will work or not. At the end, one just has to choose. And the hardest for our family was in fact choosing a HS. After that, the UG, Med. School were much easier to choose. Again, I am sure that it completely different from anybody else.</p>