<p>Hi,
I'm currently working on my essay...and I have 3 different versions. I'd love to look at some essays that got people in...especially recent admits. Please send me yours if you can. PM me for my email. thank you thank you!</p>
<p>theres some good books out there that can help you with this. get em at amazon or something. </p>
<ol>
<li>Essays that worked</li>
<li>on writing the college application essay. </li>
</ol>
<p>i strongly recommend reading these two to get some good ideas. the 2nd one by harry bauld helps you get some perspective from admission officers. </p>
<p>i personally got help from a teacher at my school who gave lots of good direction. if you want pm me and i can help you out.</p>
<p>i'd just love to have examples from everyday people who got in. not something published in a book.</p>
<p>Well, I don't think people's essays from last year will help much, since the topics have since changed.</p>
<p>well... thats not entirely true. just one of the questions has changed. </p>
<p>dsarah: those examples are really good. i used them to get ideas on how to write my essays. they really sparked my imagination. and i think its a bit too personal to just give out the essays to a stranger...but my offer still holds.</p>
<p>Which one has changed and which one hasn't? I'd thought both changed.</p>
<p>okay.
can i please just read someone's essays?
i don't understand why people are giving me advice on other things when i just want to read an essay.
I REALIZE the prompts change.
if anyone is willing to send me their essay, please let me know
thank you.</p>
<p>I say that because I don't see why in the world you'd want to see essays for a different prompt, unless you just want to see what essays in general are like. If you'd like that, then just go to the essays forum and offer to edit others' essays -- you'll get plenty of practice there.</p>
<p>i'd like to see examples of essays that got into Cal. just because I'd like to.</p>
<p>kyledavid80: your right. they have changed. theres only 2 now instead of 3. i was mistaken with the winter/spring question. that one is the same as before. </p>
<p>dsarah: ....many of those essays in the books could easily have gotten people into cal....if your looking to write an essay thats at least better than a current cal student, then youve got the wrong mindset. just write the best essay you can. but like i said i doubt anyone here wants to hand you their essays.</p>
<p>sarah</p>
<p>My son is a sophomore at UC Berkeley. I don't have a copy of his essays on my computer but I can tell you, he basically just answered the questions. </p>
<p>For the one regarding how did he challenge himself...my son wrote about transferring from his public middle school to a rigorous charter high school in another town. He wrote about taking college classes and how that impacted him. He also mentioned receiving his only C in an upper division college language class. </p>
<p>For the second question (I think they asked about an EC??), he wrote about his passion for music.... how he continually challenges himself and that the highlight of his junior year was playing a sax solo at Carnegie Hall.</p>
<p>The third essay....he was going to use this space to justify why he got that C in his college class, but I told him it was a waste of a good opportunity. He didn't really know what to write about so I suggested that he write about one of his passions.....and within 20 minutes he whipped out a short piece on his love of fly fishing.</p>
<p>My son wrote the UC essays specifically for the UCs as we had heard that they want you to answer the questions (versus submitting a super creative essay).</p>
<p>Hope that helps and good luck to you!</p>
<p>Sarah, </p>
<p>Though I can't speak on behalf of everyone who was admitted to Cal, I never looked at another person's essay or read one of those "how to write a college essay" books before I was admitted. Writing college essays can be a scary thing, but it gives you an opportunity to distinguish yourself in ways that quantitative factors cannot. I mean, that's why the essay is there. Right?</p>
<p>Just answer the questions in a manner that is true to yourself. My thoery is that admissions officers are pros at weeding out the applications that seem conformed or obsequious, though other Cal admits may disagree with me here. </p>
<p>Hope this helps. Good Luck!</p>
<p>thank you for the advice on the "super creative essay" because i was having a hard time with that...i was focusing more on my writing style as opposed to content.</p>
<p>content completely outweighs style.</p>
<p>But don't be misled to think that style isn't important. It conveys who you are almost as much, if not just as much, as the content.</p>
<p>(Funny, in other threads, I've combated the misconception that style >>> content.)</p>
<p>found this posted on an essay mentoring site from a freshman at Cal so it's a real addmission essay from last year. btw interesting site as it looks like it's only college students and high school seniors on it, kind of an ebay meets facebook thingy for addmissions essays.</p>
<p>There is one photo in which we are all together. All thirty dancers, posed in heavy makeup and fake eyelashes, contained within the same frame for one flash. I remember how at that moment, before the last click, I discovered the secret to being me. I was sitting in the middle of thirty girls, half of whom I would never see again. These dancers and friends were soon departing for college and I was facing a whole school year without them. Right before the camera flashed, I noticed a poster that someone had placed at the front of the dressing room. The letters on the poster held the message: "Dance is the art of letting go". These words have resonated with me as a new approach to life.</p>
<p>Shortly after the dance show, I attended Girl's State, a one-week summer program in which I "let go" of my comfort zone. That week, I did two things I thought I would never do: rap and cheer.</p>
<p>I was lying awake the second night trying to come up with my speech for the senatorial race. Everything I considered was so boring and clich�d. There was only one creative solution. I had to do the thing I felt most foolish doing: I had to rap. When I got up in front of my city the next day and asked them to "lay down the beat", I saw twenty-five confused faces staring back at me. As I tentatively started my rap, however, smiles broke out and hands started clapping. By the end of the rap, I had the complete attention of all of my peers. In front of this group, I had stepped outside of my comfort zone and experienced new freedom. I wondered if I could push myself to do something so unfamiliar again. When one of the counselors asked for volunteers to help create and teach cheers for the whole county, I instantly raised my hand. After all, what could be more uncomfortable than shouting cheers, by myself, in front of a large group of people? So I did just that. I made up a cheer and led sixty girls in a "cheer war" in front of an audience of five hundred. In the middle of these screaming girls I realized the talent that I had possessed all along. I had taken to heart the art of "letting go". I confronted my fears and pushed myself forward. In the end, my actions established my position as a leader in my Girl�s State County. I won election to the senate seat and became chair of the Health Committee.</p>
<p>I have a quiet confidence that pushes me to lead. I may not be the aggressive cut-throat type, but I assert a creative intellect that provides a different type of leadership. I believe a leader must provide a sense of support and guidance that allows others to excel. Whether I am teaching a dance piece that I have choreographed or chairing a meeting of the Free the Children club, I enjoy the sense of collaboration involved in heading a group.</p>
<p>Those few words, pasted on a poster, affected my sense of self, my dancing, and my approach to learning. I now understand the value of a mind open to failure, I am not afraid to take chances, and I look forward to "letting go" in my college career.</p>
<p>Miramontedad: what site is that?</p>