<p>I don't know what I'm doing at my current university right now. I'm paying OOS tuition. I don't know what I'm going to do with my life and paying OOS fees will limit what profession I'll get into (accumulating debt) in the future and I dislike the large lecture hall classes and I'm finding difficulty in getting help for my courses. I just think attending a smaller college or university would be better for me. At the same time, I don't feel very prepared coming out of HS and am struggling with my work. I miss my home, my old life, and in general, I'm having a very difficult time adjusting. I feel so lost right now. What should I do? </p>
<p>I just did poorly on my midterms and I just have these nightmares that I'm going to disappoint my family and that everything I worked for the last 4 years will come down to nothing. I've talked to my family about this and they're telling me to stay and that $$$ is really not an issue but I'm having a difficult time believing them, and I am just lost. Perhaps it would be a good idea to just LEAVE and start from scratch at a community college and transfer later but that idea sounds hasty right now and my family would be really disappointed by that choice. I'm going to talk to an academic counselor on Monday... </p>
<p>Please tell me what I'm feeling is normal. :( </p>
<p>Perhaps I'm overreacting with the midterms but I did really really bad and I WANT TO LEAVE THIS SITUATION AND START OVER CUZ I'M GOING TO MESS UP and waste so much money.</p>
<p>I think your fear stems from the feeling of disappointing everyone, especially yourself.</p>
<p>That is normal, to want to throw your hands in the air because of mid-terms. Unfortunately, even if you quit now and go to a community college near your home, you'll still feel like you somehow let your family and yourself down.</p>
<p>Even if you go home, things in your life won't be the same, unfortunately.</p>
<p>This is a time of transition from the 'you' you were at home for 18 years to who you want to become. It's weird not to have a structure unless you define it. That's very different than HS...and scary sometimes.</p>
<p>If you do need to return home, I'd suggest applying to transfer to one of your state's smaller schools, but not the one nearest to home. That way, you'll still experience the freedom to chart your own course, and be close enough to home that if things get too difficult, you can go home for the weekend a time or two a semester.</p>
<p>In any case, just concentrate on yourself and don't worry about what others will think. I know it's easier said than done, but I'm positive you can do it. Stressing about it will only increase the pressure you feel--which does affect your performance. Maybe you should workout (i.e. jump on a treadmill, go walking with a friend) to increase the endorphins in your system...it really does help. Sometimes, I too feel a bit lost or overwhelmed by things and it helps to go out and do something.</p>
<p>Again, the feelings of not succeeding, especially after mid-terms, is very normal but also surmountable. Hang in there. Talk to your advisor or counselor. Good luck. :)</p>
<p>What you are feeling is absolutely normal. </p>
<p>Speaking to an academic counselor is also very wise. Two posts, two wise posts - good record for this thread ;).</p>
<p>I tend to agree that you should not be thinking about transfer right now. If you do transfer, it should be from a position of strength rather than fear. If you were to leave now, it would be with a sense of failure. Better to overcome that, and I bet you can, and then see if you want to transfer. </p>
<p>Try to take the mid-terms not as a reflection of your ability, but as an interim guidepost of what kinds of things you might need to focus on better/get help with. If you can figure out from each midterm what you need to do differently for each class, you can do much better by the end of the term. If you can't quite figure it out, then the academic counseling could help.</p>
<p>Hang in there. What you are feeling is normal. The midterms compounded with being out of your comfort zone coupled with worries about $$ and worries about how your parents feel are a lot to deal with. If you can shed some of those worries, with the help of academic or other counseling, your head will be clearer and you can make choices about the balance of your schooling in a better way.</p>
<p>maybe your school is harsh on its students, and everyone did poorly. Maybe the final grades will be adjusted.
You should never give up, and just give it your best and in the end the results you get will surprise you (in a good way)</p>
<p>If you want to leave your current school mainly because you didn't do well for the midterm, that's not very rational. Just one midterm exam is a very small portion of 4-year study in your university. I think you have plenty of time to make up for a single bad grade.
If you really don't like your school for a lot of reasons, then you may consider transfer.</p>
<p>If you don't think going to an OOS school is worth it based on the fact you'll be in more debt, that seems reasonable - I mean, unless it's some OOS school like Harvard or something that is really a TOP-TIER program, then I can understand your logic behind that.</p>
<p>That seems very rational.</p>
<p>If you don't like it, you can ALWAYS transfer to an ISS and pay IST - I'm sure you could find a school equal in academics, unless again, it's Harvard or something.</p>
<p>I just wanted to check in to mention that I ended up doing better than I thought I would for my first quarter. (3.17gpa; A-, A-, C) Thanks for all of your advice everyone. I am still considering the transfer options.</p>