<p>I am so glad to read this MY D(HS Senior) and BF (Freshman) will be at same small school next year. I’ve read , asked ?'s etc about what to do. I worry that she won’t experience college the same way but do realize others get BF when they arrive etc. I hope that they will branch out and not be joined at the hip .Glad to hear the update.</p>
<p>At my D’s big public U, all freshmen are housed in one of 3 dorms…so the odds are good. There were four kids from her HS who started together and only two ended up in the same dorm. She still saw them frequently around campus and in the dining halls, though only one is really part of her “circle” at school. Have you asked your D to consider how she’ll feel if the relationship doesn’t work out and she has to run into him (possibly with another girl) in her dorm? Will either of them feel “smothered” by the continual presence of the other? I think this might be a good time to cover those bases and casually provide info on what the housing change request process is.</p>
<p>Love the update!</p>
<p>Funny, I was reading this thread and thinking I completely understand where the OP is coming & not realizing how old it was until I saw my own old post from 2007. My daughter and her bf did end up in the same dorm and in rooms next door to each other. Unlike the OP we did not like my daughter’s bf at all - he was a nasty controlling emotionally abusive sob who ended up becoming physically abusive. Being in the same dorm definitely affected her early college experience. Thankfully they broke up half way through freshman year but it was awkward being in the same dorm for the rest of the year especially when he started dating someone new. He also turned into a crazy stalker after they broke up even though he was dating someone else. She moved off campus after freshman year and got a summer job 1,000 miles away to try to get away from him but still had problems with him for almost a year. The new girl broke up with him because of abuse and he was harassing both of them till the new girl had the sense to get the police involved. Shortly afterward he had to leave the school for a while because of drug and alcohol problems, but did return for a while. Now he has moved to another town where his latest girlfriend is starting college. She is a 17 year old who knows about the abuse my daughter and the other girl went through but “knows why it happened” - he has her convinced that his first HS gf used to hit him him and that is why he abused his next 2 g/fs !!!(one of my daughter’s friends dates one of his friends, a really nice guy, and she asked the girl if she knew about his past which is why my daughter hears about this stuff). She and the other girl were so happy and relieved to hear he had moved as they are both afraid of him.</p>
<p>It was all a bit of a nightmare. I’m not sure what we would have done differently though. We had very quickly realized how controlling he was but nothing we said ever made a difference. I think living at close quarters, unpleasant though it was, helped hasten the end. If we had tried to force her away from him they’d have probably ended up married or with a child or something. He was very clever about using our disapproval to come between us and her and bring her more under his control.</p>
<p>Thanks for the update. It’s always fun to see how these situations work themselves out!
Many good wishes to the two of them.</p>
<p>Thanks for the update!</p>
<p>Good update! Glad everyone is doing well! </p>
<p>My parents were HS sweethearts and spent college apart…they were MISERABLE and hated their college experience/spent weekends driving hours to each other. Over 20 years later they are successful professionals, making money, living life, amazingly no sign of divorce on the horizon (despite the statistics). Maybe they couldn’t have done it without each other.</p>
<p>Sometimes it’s really not a bad thing to go to the same college as your bf/gf 
You can still get good grades and make friends and MAYBE you’ll even stay together…</p>
<p>Wow…thanks for the update.</p>
<p>I wonder if the size of the school makes a difference? Cal is a big school. Would the experience be very different at a smaller school?</p>
<p>^MMm, in my personal experience not always but in this situation, maybe.</p>
<p>Boyfriends/girlfriends (especially ones that didn’t come in together from the same HS!) tend to be in the same social circles/spheres. The boyfriend/girlfriend was often met in clubs the two were both passionate about, friend groups the two shared in common, etc. So, in a sense, it’s as if the school is small, you know? When they break up, it’s the same kinda “small space” drama, with mutual friends, clubs/interests shared, etc.</p>
<p>In that sense it could work to your advantage if bf/gf is carried over from HS. The clubs and classes and things usually aren’t so closely connected, because you met him/her from the shared experience of HS, not the shared experiences in college. And in that way, it may help to be a big school, where both bf/gf can explore interests independently of each other.</p>
<p>OP, thanks for the update! </p>
<p>S2 and GF chose to attend different schools even though they got into three of the same places. It is working out for them; they have time to focus on classes and have both actively gone out to join new activities, get jobs, etc. to meet new friends. It helps that neither is the jealous sort. They each made one trip to the other’s campus this fall, and talk/Skype daily. They’ve been together a long time and are both “old souls” with similar views of life. </p>
<p>S2 says the separation is tough, but they are both glad they each chose the school that was best for them.</p>
<p>I’ve actually seen it happen.
My friend was a second semester transfer student who happened to get place in the same dorm as her sophomore boyfriend despite neither of them being in the program the building actually housed…</p>
<p>My oldest son and his girlfriend started dating when he was a senior (and she a junior) in high school. They are now both seniors at the same university (my son is graduating in two weeks) and are still together. They were in the same apartment complex twice and it was no problem. They have been together 5 years!!! I know it’s rare, but sometimes one’s high school sweetheart turns out to be the one.</p>
<p>Be prepared to be a grandparent soon.</p>
<p>Hahaha… Actually, no. She is going to law school and my son will be going to Sacramento to work for a professional sports team. Not yet… :-)</p>
<p>Oh and just an FYI - aunt and uncle were high school sweethearts, married 40 years, sister-in-law and brother-in-law were high school sweethearts, married 30 plus years, sister-in-law and brother-in-law were high school sweethearts, married 30 plus years, mother-in-law and father-in-law married at age 18, married 60 years and finally me and my husband, very good friends in high school, married 20 years…</p>
<p>So you see, it can be done and sometimes done quite well. :-)</p>
<p>WOW -momfirst3-that’s incredible- it MUST run in the family- glad to hear that it can still happen-My mom thinks I’m crazy to let my D go to the same school as BF. What if they really are the “ONE” ??</p>
<p>Exactly, and who are we to tell our adult children when they should find the one??? For most families, this situation is just hard to even imagine, but in mine, it’s commonplace. I only shared that so people would know that it can and does happen. In my opinion, you are not crazy. I think it is important to let our children chose the life they want to live. As long as the grades are fine (school comes first), there is nothing wrong with being at the same university. Some stay together; some don’t. That’s just part of life, and I chose to support my kids in their adult decisions.</p>
<p>Wow! I guess this is still a very timely topic even 3 1/2 years later-- loved hearing the success stories, of course. D and the BF did have their moments and did break up a few times over one or the other of them not feeling like they weren’t getting to experience “being single”…
I loved that one of the moms thought it was a new thread until she came upon her own post from '07! I’m very happy to find many of my old CC friends are still here and still as helpful as ever!</p>
P.S. They stayed together through the whole 4 years (more or less), then broke up the summer after graduation…She is happily in another relationship of about 3 years with a young man she met at Coachella… ;
A few years back, a bunch of kids from our HS were all placed into the same dorm at UCLA. (I’m guessing that they did it on purpose, perhaps to put kids together that knew each other.)
This is why I’m glad when bumped threads aren’t closed. It’s interesting to hear how things turn out and starting a new post just doesn’t have the same feel.
She is a one-man woman, it sounds like!