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I'd say to take this approach--avoid college events that have alcohol and in particular, steer clear of big parties/social events. I've never been to a party in my two years of college and I am by no means a hermit. I've skipped the formal dances and I never plan on going to one of them--there are much better things off campus. Plus, it gives you a chance to interact with real human beings who aren't brainwashed by the whole college deal. I don't get along with 90% of college kids because they are so brainwashed by the media into thinking they have to party/drink, have to congregate in loud noisy groups, have to act ~20-21 even if they could be more mature, etc. It's true that many of my friends are over 30 and I am close with many in their 70s-80s, but it's all about who you feel the most comfortable around. If drunk college kids aren't your cup of tea either, just find a nice alternative like I did.
<p>In my view the pressure to drink is exaggerated, especially these days when many people choose not to drink for many different reasons, including health. However, if you don't drink, you may not find it that much fun to socialize with people who are drinking heavily. So you do want to look for a school with plenty of social activities that do not revolve around drinking.</p>
<p>I don't drink but have never had a problem finding friends to go do stuff with. Even though many of my friends do drink, they aren't the types that can't have a good time without a drink in hand so it's never been an issue.</p>
<p>As long as she doesn't already have major hermit tendencies, she really shouldn't be too worried about it.</p>
<p>It might be easier if she does not say "I don't drink" when offered a drink. this draws more attention to you than saying "not now" or "no thanks".
Carrying around a water or a soda makes it a bit less likely people will notice you are not drinking beer - party hosts and tipsy friends have been known to press a glass of beer on those with empty hands. Not that there is anything wrong with "not drinking beer" - it is just conspicuous at some parties.</p>
<p>There's nothing better than be the cool one the next morning after your friends were totally smashed and you get to tell all the stupid stories of them because you stayed sober to get them home. I was taking anitbiotics for 2 weeks and couldn't drink (well, I could, but they made me nauseous and the first night i barely finished a coke with the littlist bit of rum and I threw up evverryywhheree...needless to say, I didn't drink while on meds after that) and then a third weekend I wanted to go out but not drink because I had sooo much stuff to do that weekend (two weeks before finals). To get my friends off my back, I just told them I wanted to be the DW (designated walker). You'd be suprised how easy it was to say "I don't want to drink". I know people give people crap about it, and I know i've given crap, but for the most part its good humor. A lot of kids don't drink and still go out, whether its parties or campus-functions.<br>
Your D's best bet is to not worry about it, as that will only make it worse, and she'll being to paint an image of her college friends doing nothing but drinking and she'll be a hermit 24/7. It just isn't true. She'll be meeting a ton of people during orientation, in her hall/dorm, and in classes. She'll most likely meet lots of people that either don't drink, or only drink occaisionally. And it will most likely give her lots of close friends as she'll look for lots of people that don't/only sometimes drink, as she'll try to make sure she always has someone around.<br>
I drank most weekends of college, but in the end, the weekends that I didn't I always found stuff to do and I always had a good time (unless it was because I was doing work haha) and no one I regularly went out with ever bothered me. I think no one would've bothered me if I never drank to begin with. So, moral is: your daughter will be fine. There's more important stuff to worry about :)</p>
<p>she has two options:
go to a small Liberal arts college in the middle of nowhere where you cant even buy alcohol</p>
<p>or she coudl simply not go to the following colleges: U of I, ISU, UW-Madison, Iowa, OSU, MSU, USC, UCSD, NIU, UT-Austin, BC, NYU, U Tennessee, Miami, MIT, Tulane, American U, Purude, Notre Dame, and a few more</p>
<p>I don't drink, though my friends do, and I find it pretty hilarious to be with them when they're drunk... honestly, they're so enthusiastic and anything I say instantly becomes hilarious, so it's not hard to feed off their energy. Of course they sometimes pressure me to join them, but it's really no big deal since they aren't pushing it down my throat or anything and I've made up my mind that I always want to be in complete control of myself.</p>
<p>Advise your daughter to choose schools where drinking is not the only option on weekends (usually "nerdier" schools with a more academic bent work, though college guide books are helpful, as are these forums).</p>
<p>And yeah, generally people presure you to drink b/c a) they think you need to loosen up, which shouldn't be substance-related b) they envy your willpower and don't want to feel badly about themselves... ok, that last on came out sounding really cruel, but as of now those are the conclusions I've come to</p>
<p>And yeah, the whole holding a plastic cup with water or soda is an option as well if you think people are going to be pressuring you...</p>
<p>tennisfan88: Real alcohol, haha. Anywhere from Keystone to Stella, and anywhere from S.S. Pierce to well, I've seen some expensive spirits around. Grey Goose is one of my friend's favorites.</p>
<p>Go to parties, get a drink, and slowly sip on it or don't drink any and just hold it. That way you won't have to worry about telling people you don't drink. I have a few friends who do so and it works out grandly.</p>
<p>Just stay away from shots, drinking games, beer bong, etc.</p>
<p>"Are you serious? What type of lame-o sits quietly at parties and sips drinks? Learn to enjoy alcohol, and stop being terrible."</p>
<p>I actually know quite a few people that just go to parties and socialize. You don't have to sit quietly, just go and talk, or dance, or whatever is happening at the party. But I don't think any of that is answering the original question, since she wants to avoid the scene altogether.</p>
<p>A large part of the college social scene DOES revolve around partying, thats true. I'd start by suggesting she give it a chance. Not what you (the parent/OP) want to hear I'm sure, but its part of the fun of college. Trying new things, meeting new people, etc. If she does decide it isn't for her, though, there are alternatives. Church groups do stuff all the time that don't involve alcohol. Of course if she's not religious at all thats not really an option. Joining some sort of community service group would give her a chance to meet like-minded friends; not saying that nobody there drinks but your odds are better there.</p>
<p>It's a high-and-mighty attitude taken by (nerdy) high school students getting into good schools who haven't yet realized that many successful and smart kids consume alcohol (underage.)</p>
<p>Nothing is wrong with drinking, its just some people don't like putting things in their body that change their mental state. I do, but I respect others decision not to. It doesn't hurt me any when people don't drink so who am I to tell them to?</p>