<p>^^Glad to be of help, cpeltz.</p>
<p>I just want to say that I am so appreciative of northstarmom and others being willing to tell their own stories. You have lived the academic "worst case scenario" and survived. Son was accepted to 8 schools with merit aid at all, has narrowed it down, and is now trying to decide among 4 good schools. But in the back of my mind, I can totally see the worst case scenario happening to him. His senior grades are not good. So hard to decide if we should let him go off to college to sink or swim, or keep him at home for CC. Thank you all for posting your experiences.</p>
<p>Maybe someone with knowledge of graphic design programs could post some advice? This seems to me to be an area with specific talent requirements and also an element of "taste" in the assessment of the work. </p>
<p>Perhaps what the OP's daughter could use most is an informed assessment of the quality of her work from a design standpoint, and the areas where she needs to improve. Otherwise, the same issues could easily arise at another college. </p>
<p>If the OP's daughter is putting serious effort into the design work and submitting everything on time, the grades might simply reflect the overall grading practice in that field, at that level, at that university. Or they might reflect aspects of the work that she needs to change. Or they might reflect a mismatch between the daughter's work and the expectations of the academic field--which might be somewhat different from eventual commercial/industrial/advertising expectations. Absolute worst case, maybe this is just not the field for OP's daughter.</p>
<p>QuantMech, you have a very good point. "We" cannot tell from the original message if the OPs daughter is struggling with general education classes or design specific classes either. Years and years ago when I used to hire graphic designers I saw wildly different portfolios coming from different college and university profiles. Fundamental differences that had little to do with the students capabilities and more to do with the particular schools program. I will never forget the exceptional portfolios that would year after year come from this small, relatively unknown directional college. But I also believe that most colleges granting BFAs or BAs in art still require general ed and foundation classes that are more related to academic nose to the grindstone work than design billiance. and we the reader cannot tell in what area the OPs daughter is struggling. The OP and the OPs daughter would need to separate out the "real" issues before they can plot an alternative course which is what everyone is basically saying. Your point, though, does play into the outcome of that decision. I do think, that any high school student contemplating a studio arts or a design career would do well to take a portfolio class in high school and take advantage of the many portfolio days across the country. Crits are never fun, but can be helpful for the "fit" issue, which can come into play with anyone in the arts. Successful art students also need a certain fire in the belly to defend their work.</p>
<p>Is she popular though? If she is then that is more important than grades.</p>
<p>momofthreeboys, if I've understood the OP's posts correctly, her daughter had a 2.5 for the first semester in her major area and somewhat over a 3.0 overall; so at least for that semester, the general education requirements weren't a problem. I agree, we can't tell about this semester.</p>
<p>I talked a bit to NSM in PMs, explaining the personal reasons behind my perspective to her, and she suggested that I post an abbreviated version here, so I will.</p>
<p>Basically, I was struggling quite badly at a top school (MIT). I truly did not understand why. I was putting in the time. I wasn't much of a partier, and I had the best sleep habits of pretty much anyone I knew. I thought I was going crazy or somehow losing intelligence. My concentration was gone, my short-term memory deteriorated, my learning ability seemed to have decreased. None of it made any sense to me. I was sleepy all the time and walking around in a fog, but I thought it was just because of stress.</p>
<p>My mom also didn't understand why I was struggling so badly - justifiably, since I didn't know either and couldn't come up with a sensible explanation. She knew that I had the capability, so she figured that I must be partying and not doing the work and failing to appreciate my education. She repeatedly threatened to pull my tuition. We had been close, and my relationship with her had always been pretty mature, but as this kept going, it deteriorated. I became paranoid and wary and my behavior with her regressed toward childishness and dishonesty. I wanted desperately to get out of this, but I didn't know how. I was badly frightened by the prospect of losing tuition because I had seen friends who weren't on finaid get their tuition pulled and the devastating affect that it had on their lives, their family relationships, their ability to put in studying hours, their debt situations. I had academic counseling, but I couldn't seem to get my grades up. Our relationship almost collapsed completely.</p>
<p>The story had a happy ending. I managed not to fail out, my tuition was never pulled, and as soon as I graduated, my relationship with my mom returned to what it had been - better, actually. However, now I come to the real point:</p>
<p>When my tiredness, and the learning, memory, and concentration-related side effects of it, didn't go away after I graduated, I got tested. It turned out that I had multiple previously-undiagnosed sleep disorders, and that my sleep was extremely disturbed, leaving me in a constant state of significant sleep deprivation (with the aforementioned side effects) even after 8, 9, 10 hours of sleep per night. I also had some anxiety problems that weren't helping.</p>
<p>As a result, I'd suggest that while partying may be the culprit in many cases, the first thing to do with an academically struggling student (unless there's another obvious culprit, like "They are in the wrong major"), rather than threaten to pull their tuition, is to have them get a complete physical. Possibly also a neuropsych workup. If there's actually something there, the parent and student could both save themselves a lot of pain and anguish (and possibly money). If not, well, at least you've ruled it out and the student can't use it as an excuse.</p>
<p>D has three gen eds and two art foundation courses this semester. She has a C in each of the gen eds. She has a C and a D in the two art foundations. This is the main cause for alarm because it will get her kicked out of the program.</p>
<p>Her explanation so far has been along the lines of the midterm grade is based on one test/project, and I have two or three more before the end of the semester. Slacking at the beginning of the semester and trying to bring grades up has been a habitual problem since high school. However, this is by far the worst it has been.</p>
<p>She appears to have no desire to change majors, go to counseling, get tutoring, etc.</p>
<p>"She appears to have no desire to change majors, go to counseling, get tutoring, etc." Oh dear, that's not a good sign. I guess you might just have to let her play it out "her way.", but I'd definitely set the boundaries now for what will happen regarding your position financially and housing at the end of semester or whenever her "freshman" year would typically end. Once the boundaries are set, I guess if I were you I'd step back and see what happens.</p>
<p>We had some issues with one of our kids. He just was not doing what he should in college. We had "the talk" with him. We were very gentle, loving and understanding. We told him that college may not be for him right now and if that is the case, perhaps he should take some time away from it. We also made it clear the conditions we had for investing in his education, and if he did not feel this was something he wanted to do right now, that we were not going to push it. However, we also let him know that we had things we wanted in our lives, and did not want those things disrupted by him. It was not just his wants and his life going on here, but ours as well. It is our home, and if he wanted to live with us, there were rules. As an adult, if he did not want to stay in college and make the grades that we felt made it worth our investment, he needed to find a way to support himself. Also, we had a budget, and were willing to pay only so much for the college experience. We also let him know that the better he performed in school, the more we were willing to invest in it. </p>
<p>The most important thing in this whole discussion was that we were not angry with him. We were concerned. We also wanted this to be an honest discussion. We have our desires too, and though we cannot incorporate them in our child's life, we certainly have our rights and our lives that we don't need to have compromised by his opinions. Being an adult is finding ways to get what you want within the confines of what is available.</p>
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She appears to have no desire to change majors, go to counseling, get tutoring, etc.
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<p>Ouch, yeah, that's no good. While I tend to be more sympathetic to struggling students than most of the actual parents here, you've got to actually take steps to try to help yourself with the available resources.</p>
<p>Though you did say "She appears". Have you asked her? Some college students, especially if they've never struggled academically before, are <em>really</em> clueless about what resources are out there for them. If you've asked her outright if she'd be willing to use these resources, and she said no, my sympathy for her falls several levels.</p>
<p>That said...if she gets flunks out, well, then, there's no more tuition that you have to pay. You won't even have to yank it. Sometimes flunking out forces people to reevaluate their lives and get their acts together.</p>