<p>Altamom, I am also glad she sounded better. I have come to understand that I mostly hear from my d when she is stressed or upset about something and needs to talk it through. I am then left fretting and worrying about her when she has usually dealt with what was bothering her and moved on! Hopefully, your d is beginning to see that this is indeed a situation that she CAN cope with...either by taking some time off from school, transferring, or figuring out that Barnard is where she should be after all. </p>
<p>Again, you have given her the tools she needs to make the decision and you have made the appropriate options available to her. Just keep on loving her and she, and you, will be fine.</p>
<p>I am so glad you did post about this here on this forum! This will most likely be very helpful for others as well....</p>
<p>I'm sorry to hear that your daughter wants to go home. From my own experience, I can definitely relate to hers. I'm from the West coast too, and I didn't have any family or friends in NYC when I came here for college. I packed my life in four suitcases and moved into Sulzberger. My first two years were definitely the hardest. As if college isn't a hard enough transition, you also have to adapt to the culture of the city. It's fast paced and abrasive -- nothing like the West coast. It's definitely difficult and it's definitely a process. Some girls can work through it and others have a harder time.</p>
<p>What semester/year is your daughter in? I'd suggest giving her some time to adapt and maybe even talking to her RA before going down to the Counseling Center. The Counseling Center is a great resource though. But I think her RA should be the first step. (I used to be an RA, and they definitely know their stuff.) But this is something that takes time and it's a process. If your daughter needs someone to talk to, she is more than welcome to contact me.</p>
<p>As sac mentioned, the campus was on break at the time of the first post, and, as far as I could tell from my daughter, everyone who could take off, did. Even she came back here, a rare cameo visit, with an out-of-town friend in tow. And they both seemingly had a ton of work due immediately after this break.</p>
<p>I can see how these circumstances would contribute to a case of the blues for anyone who could not find a place to get themselves away to, at that particular time.</p>
<p>Not to suggest that that's all there is to it.</p>
<p>That's definitely understandable. I was alone in the dorms during Thanksgiving my first semester. I went to a friend's house for Thanksgiving dinner on Long Island, but I spent the night and the rest of the weekend alone in my room. Nobody else was on the floor. I do remember feeling very lonely and depressed. Thanksgiving weekend and Fall Break are work-filled too, so it's not so much of a break. But I would say that as I adjusted more to college and to life in the city, it wasn't as hard to endure these breaks. I found ways to leave town for vacation and also to do work while away (e.g. on planes, in airports, etc.). You just have to find a system and work with it.</p>
<p>It's been 30 years since I graduated, but I remember that Barnard is really tough. If you can afford to up her allowance, some restaurant meals and some out of town excursions might make it easier for her to adjust.</p>
<p>I'm a college freshman (not at Barnard) living away from home and I can definitely attest to the power of a little time off campus. Not even anything involving travel, just a trip to the movies alone one afternoon or to a mall in suburbia. In college, living in the dorms, the amount of time you have alone shrinks as does the time you have to go somewhere fun, or waste an afternoon. It can really help to make time for these things.</p>
<p>I also forgot - 30 years ago Barnard had a lot of commuters (50%), so my commuter friends brought me home to their families. In those days, half the school was Jewish, so I learned about Passover, seltzer, and matzoh ball soup. So much better than the dorm food.</p>
<p>I go to another "high-pressure" school and I know some students from my school and others who took a year off to "sort themselves out." It seems to have been an amazinggg thing for all of them...the time off let them decompress (after 14 years of school, who can blame them?) and reevaluate what they want from their lives. Once they came back, they were more well-adjusted and successful than many of their peers!</p>
<p>She's studying at King's College, Strand Campus. It is not a "program". She has matriculated directly into King's. It is a Barnard approved program, and all her courses her approved by her department. She has apple to apply her FA to studying there.</p>