<p>I remember so clearly coming home the first time after going off to college. It was SO weird - everything at "home" physically felt smaller - my house, the town roads etc.- it was a small town and I attended a mid-size university. </p>
<p>This weekend my D is coming home for the first time since we dropped her off - just 2 weeks ago. Her school is only 70 minutes away, so a visit is very doable. She seems excited to come home, but has also expressed it seems weird to leave what she has there - friends, her room etc. I think that's a GOOD sign. She described it as almost living a double life - the one here where her siblings are and all our "usual" activities and the one she has out on her own now. Very true.</p>
<p>I had told her before she left that when she came to visit, she was not going to be a "visitor" - sure I'll try to make her a favorite meal, bake her something extra - but home base hasn't really changed for us and we will be excited to have her in the "mix" again - even though just for a couple of days...</p>
<p>So, just wondering...what "surprises" did you have on that first visit back? Changes in attitude? Uncomfortableness? Conflicts? Everything peachy keen? Just curious...</p>
<p>When our children first returned from college, we were on entirely different schedules. Evenings began at 11:00pm. Quite an adjustment for a family that always had a midnight curfew in high school. We survived!</p>
<p>I remember when my oldest was a freshman she didn't come home until Thanksgiving - although we had seen her a couple of times on visits out to see her. She seemed to think the world needed to stop and full attention be paid to her. This was difficult due to the fact that we had lots of family coming in Thanksgiving Day, and there were many preparations, etc. So it was difficult, and things were a little awkard with her until about Friday. Several friends have related similar tales of their freshman's 1st visit home, especially if it had been awhile. It was only that one time that she behaved that way, and I probably didn't react in the most understanding or patient way because I had so much to do. So I'm all for that first visit home being before Thanksgiving on a 'normal' weekend if time and distance permits. I also second the opposite schedule thing. Their days start in the afternoon and end in the wee hours of the morning. But I'll take whatever time I can get!</p>
<p>After living in a dorm, my D forgot how to turn lights off. The hall light is on all night there. I thought she'd be happy to have home cooking & her own bed, but the only comment I got was that she was glad to have soft TP again! I do keep a curfew going just to preserve my sanity.</p>
<p>Nikrud's story is funny to me because I had the opposite reaction as a new freshman. I just wanted to hang out with my high school friends and be normal...my mom wanted to follow me around the house and grill me about every detail of college life. I do remember being grateful for the ease of doing laundry at home and I remember stocking up on toothpaste and other supplies from home.</p>
<p>Have fun. In four years, DS never came home except for school breaks (and never at spring break). Home for him was college. DD goes to college on the opposite coast. We won't see her until December...then not again until June. No weekend trips home. I agree with the poster...days are nights and nights are days for college students. My kids (in the summers and on school breaks) would go OUT when the rest of us were going to bed. I doubt that they were out of bed before noon (unless they were working).</p>
<p>After the long hug, things went back to normal except it was like she (and he two in school) were living in different times zones. Even thought their schools weren't. Bedtime came around 3 am. morning around 10am. They enjoy their rooms and beds very much, complain about how fast the shower runs out of hot water at home, and slip comfortably back into home life for a bit.</p>
<p>There was not much difference when S came home for the first time. His schedule was pretty much identical to h.s. </p>
<p>His college is a couple of hours away and he had a car so he could come whenever he wanted. I should have known that in his mind coming home was no big deal but I remember being all excited to see him.
He wasn't in the house for 30 minutes before he took off looking for his other friends who were also home for the weekend. He spent most of his time with friends, just popping in to see us for bits of time here and there. This is exactly how his whole senior year in h.s. was. Don't know why I thought he'd want to come hang out with the "old people" now,lol.</p>
<p>I unintentionally referred to my dorm as "home" in the presence of my parents several times. They never said anything but I just wanted to kick myself. And yeah the home cooked favorite meals!!! OMIGOSH just thinking about them makes me smile</p>
<p>My s came home last weekend after being gone for a little over 3 weeks. I went shopping so that I could prepare all his favorite foods. However, he developed a fever the first night, so I spent the weekend taking his temp, bringing him water bottles, and watching football, Frasier reruns, and movies with him. Oh well.... maybe next time. At least I got to be a "mom" again.</p>
<p>Talked to D last night - she was excited for something to eat that was "a mom made thing" and to (ahh!) sleep in her big comfy bed....! Here's to a good weekend for all and hopes that on Sunday when we bring her back it will feel less bittersweet than the original drop off and just over all right...!</p>
<p>Don't be surprised if she wants to spend lots of time with her friends or just zoning out in her room. That's often teen's reactions to going away to college, and doesn't indicate a lack of love for their families.</p>
<p>The only change I found in D was that she watched much more television than she'd ever done because in HS she's always had something she needed to do, whether for school or ec's. D set up her work schedule so that she didn't need to work at home.</p>
<p>And the change in me? I watched more TV, too, just to be with her! I loved having her home, but I got sick of the constant presence of the TV.</p>
<p>Heard similar comments about bath/shower and AIRCONDITIONING.</p>
<p>Emotionally, she was the same old wonderful D.</p>