D wants to enlist in the military - help!

<p>I'm not saying that I don't respect people who choose a military career (my grandpa was in the military for most of his life), but I don't respect the career itself. There is a chance you will die. You might not end up going to college afterwards. You could be stop-lossed. It doesn't seem like an ideal career/life choice to me, but once again this is my opinion. I also don't agree with killing people or supposedly "defending your country" so take with that what you will.</p>

<p>I'm not saying that there aren't intelligent people in the military, but I think it's stupid to join the military instead of going to college or before going to college. The longer you put off college, the least likely you are to actually go.</p>

<p>hahathatsfunny13, I appreciate your candor. Imo, there is a lot to be said for ROTC if one is of high intelligence and interested in the military. </p>

<p>OP did comment on her daughter's intelligence and, I believe, had some concerns about finding others of high intelligence in the military. I was just hoping to allay that fear, and get across that, in the military, her daughter will not be alone in that regard.</p>

<p>I'm not trying to pick on you haha. You raise some very valid points. However, I'd encourage you to look at the other side to some of your reasons.</p>

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You might not end up going to college afterwards.

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<p>Or you might be more likely to go to college. For people who can't afford college right out of high school, it's a way to get it paid for....and without student loans. The GI Bill after WWII sent a whole generation to college, most of whom never would have gone otherwise.</p>

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You could be stop-lossed.

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<p>True, you might not get to leave the service exactly when you thought you'd be leaving. Though this has happened recently due to the war in Iraq, historically, it has been rare that there have been stop losses and they are of short duration. For instance, I don't believe there is a stop loss in effect currently (though there was for awhile).</p>

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I also don't agree with killing people or supposedly "defending your country" so take with that what you will.

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<p>Hypothetically...what if you lived in Poland when Hitler came rolling across the border with his tanks? Do you think that the Polish people were wrong to fight back?</p>

<p>For what it's worth, France and Britain tried basically just giving Hitler what he wanted so he would leave them alone, and it did not work out very well.</p>

<p>If a country does not defend itself, then it is prey to anybody who has an army.</p>

<p>timely, I definitely understand where you're coming from. I know that joining the military is the best scenario for some people, but I don't think that's the case for the OP's daughter. </p>

<p>I'm not a complete pacifist. I think there's a big difference between fighting against an invading army and picking a fight with no real justification. I just think the US needs to stop with the show of "defending" itself and just accept that it's really a bullying aggressor.</p>

<p>Seriously?</p>

<p>If the US is so terrible, how is it that we give the most foreign aid IN THE WORLD?</p>

<p>Go live in freaking Uganda if you wanna see some bullying aggressors. You have no idea what you're talking about.</p>

<p>HisGraceFillsMe, you are so wise for your age!!!</p>

<p>If the military is so bad, why does the world call on us to answer the 911 call when a problem arises that requires military aid? Answer: Because we're fair and just and try to do what's right!</p>

<p>You have your head in the sand if you think US is fair when it comes to military aid/invasion. We are nothing but self serving. Americans are so self righteous, if our govenment didn't present ourselves as fair and just, I don't think Americans would allow our government to go to war. All that aside, under the current environment, I would be very much like OP to be opposed my kids to join the military or even ROTC. It is very much selfish part in me.</p>

<p>While my d has no interest in the military, I think I'd react just as the OP is reacting if she did. It's not an unusual reaction, particularly for those of us who grew up during Vietnam.</p>

<p>Given that she's 15, maybe part (and note I said "maybe" - please don't jump on me) of this is to get a rise out of you. Perhaps "playing along" may be your best option. (Just like the kid who says she wants a tattoo. Mom says, "Great! I've been thinking of getting one, too. Maybe we can get matching ones!" And that's the last time kid ever mentions tattoos.)</p>

<p>Maybe try to compromise. Ask her at least to visit one or two military academies. To talk to some kids in ROTC at their colleges. She doesn't have to make any decisions right now anyway; research is her friend as well as yours. Perhaps she can talk to some enlisted women and see how their lives differ from those of officers. (If she enlists without going to college, could she still somehow get appointed to OCS?) Perhaps you can also get her military recruiter on board to allow her to see her options. If her recruiter sees that you are not actively undermining the idea of a military career, he may become your ally in getting your d to school.</p>

<p>You love her and don't want her to get hurt. That's understandable. But maybe right now you need to set that aside and support her, all the while giving her options. You don't want to push her away from you so hard that she doesn't come back, even if she does change her mind.</p>

<p>I guess that many of us on CC favor allowing kids to make their own decisions, explore their own options, find and be themselves, start to break free of their parents--except when it come to joining the military.</p>

<p>I am just floored at some of the responses on this thread, :(</p>

<p>There seems to be some misconceptions floating around. Getting commissioned as an officer does result in a more lucrative pay scale. However, not everybody wants or can handle the responsibility of being an officer vs. being an enlisted soldier/NCO. A stellar high school GPA or SAT scores don't reflect leadership ability. My officer H served with a soldier who hadgraduated from UC Berkeley prior to his enlistment. This senior NCO had no interest in getting commissioned ever. He wasn't a lazy man and he was definitely bright; he just didn't have the drive to become an officer. Just as an FYI, the vast majority of the servicemembers in various Armed Forces Bands have Master's degrees when they first enlist. </p>

<p>In terms of receiving an appointment to a federal service academy, it's not that easy although it is easier in some parts of the country than others. Read the service academy forums and check the admission pages of the academies to see the typical applicants. </p>

<p>My personal experience really only dealt with the Army and in terms of the spouse side of it all. H was a combat arms branch officer until he retired. I understand the single-parent issues as he deployed quite a bit during his career. Even in his final assignment on the Joint Staff, he traveled an incredible amount. He is also a West Point grad who was sent to Harvard-KSG through the Advanced Civil Schooling program. If he hadn't been selected for the ACS program, he would have been eligible to use Army TA to partially offset the cost of further education. I work at a base education center and have a constant stream of senior NCOs and young officers looking to further their education at the Master's level.</p>

<p>A soldier who enlists nowadays actually has an easier time continuing their coursework due to the advent of online classes. These courses are offered by regionally accredited institions that have long histories of traditionally taught courses. For example, UMd offers classes online or in a classroom setting. Many of the students at my school took classes on base when they were stationed here, continue online even in Iraq, and then resume traditionally-taught classes when they return to this area. It's not easy but it is doable.</p>

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I guess that many of us on CC favor allowing kids to make their own decisions, explore their own options, find and be themselves, start to break free of their parents--except when it come to joining the military.

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Actually, I'd try to act the same way - keeping options open - if my kid said she wasn't going to college for any reason, not just military.</p>

<p>I'm glad to see that this thread has largely resisted degeneration.
Here's one suggestion for the OP, picking up on what Chedva said: if you really want to test whether your D is serious about her interest in the military, you might try embracing it rather than resisting it. Do a lot of research about it. Read some biographies of Marines. Offer to go with her to talk to recruiters and ask lots of questions (not just negative ones). This will have two possible outcomes: (1) if she's doing this primarily to get a rise out of you, she'll drop it; or (2) if she's really serious, it will improve your relationship and actually get her the info she needs.</p>

<p>"I guess that many of us on CC favor allowing kids to make their own decisions, explore their own options, find and be themselves, start to break free of their parents--except when it come to joining the military."</p>

<p>Sorry, not true. Virtually all parents are on CC to help their kids explore options. We don't believe in being hands off while our beloved offspring make decisions that will help determine the course of the rest of their lives. </p>

<p>And, if that's true of college -- places where students have the option to switch majors, transfer, and even take a year off -- it's even more true of the military, a place where once you sign on the line, you're locked into for years -- including possibly risking your life.</p>

<p>NSM, I guess that I didn't make myself clear. My impression from this thread is far from many CC parents being "hands off" when it comes to the military. In fact, I sense just the opposite from a number of posters: a determined, hands-on opposition to their children joining the military.</p>

<p>If so, ADad, that makes sense to me since unlike college, the military is a place where one is locked into for several years, and also is putting one's life literally on the line and could be in a position of harming others. Given the state of the world, there's a good chance that one would be going to war, a war that many Americans, including some parents here, don't believe in.</p>

<p>I believe that our 18+ year olds, when properly informed, can understand what being in the military can involve, can assess the risks and benefits, and can make their own adult-level decisions--just as we hope for them to do, and expect them to do, when it comes to choosing a college or job.</p>

<p>This is what's important: "when properly informed". I think it's very appropriate for parents to help make sure that their young adults are properly informed, which means knowing more than recruiters and snazzy ads tell one about the military.</p>

<p>Saying this as a person who served 5 years in the military. Joining it isn't a decision to make lightly, and most 18-year-olds don't have the sophistication and life experience to know what they are getting into without some help from an adult who wasn't hired to enlist them.</p>

<p>I'm all for helping with the decision, and even for bringing up all of the fairly put negatives that I can think of. In fact, I've BTDT. But imho it's not my place either to advocate for the military or to express a determined opposition to it or horror of it.</p>