<p>good job, mayhew! Sounds like you made the most of the trip. Enjoy these times with your daughter. I know I sound like a sap, but some of my favorite memories from junior year were those visits. She really stepped up and had to function as an almost-adult. I got to see her grow into that role, got a glimpse of her a down the road, right before my eyes. Amazing.</p>
<p>riverrunner, youâre right, those trips were so much fun!! Iâll never forget them.</p>
<p>mayhew, Iâm glad you had a good trip! Your D is off to a good start.</p>
<p>You are so right about enjoying these trips - I treasured every moment of it! The school we had this full day visit with is one of my daughterâs very top D1 choices, so it really meant a lot to both of us. Now I just have to stop thinking/reflecting/analyzing it all, and move on to normal life! It was just so positive that if I hadnât been hearing it all for myself, I think I would have thought my daughter was misinterpreting some parts of the conversation, being overly enthusiastic, hearing what she wants to hear, etc. Now I am just nervous that it will fall apart, the coaches will change their minds, her grades will slip, she wonât be able to perform as they ask, etc. - all very possible seeing how very early it is - but these are all things I have absolutely NO CONTROL over, so I have to mentally move on! Phew! And thanks for âlisteningâ as I know this is just the beginning of a long, potentially sanity-challenging experienceâŠlol</p>
<p>Mayhew, congratulations on your visit! Sounds like it went very well. My daughter and I are preparing for some unofficial vists later on this month. I know I am really looking forward to spending time with my daughter away from all the distractions of every day life.</p>
<p>Mayhew</p>
<p>So glad for you and your DD that it all went well!!!</p>
<p>I was worried because of the last week or two of weather that you might be eating little packets of pretzles and cocktail peanuts in some airport lounge stuck for hours!</p>
<p>I had coffeee with a mom of a student the other nightâand she had advice about these visits etc</p>
<p>Any advice you haveâbe sure to share (;o)</p>
<p>Yes, please share any advice you may have!</p>
<p>Any advice I give is hardly expert as this was our first really structured all-day unofficial, but I will tell you what I think was helpful! My daughter had been thinking of questions to ask for a few days before the visit, and reviewed her list with me on the way to campus. We were lucky as the coach put us at ease right away, very friendly, had clearly brushed up on my studentâs file (emails/transcript/SATs) so made references to subjects mentioned during their months-long history of email letters. My student had done the same, but perhaps with not quite the same focus as this coach -!
Class was fabulous, etc. as was watching the team practice, listening to coach addressing the team at start of practice, etc. but the highlight was the sit-down with the coach. As the parent, I was not sure what to do, but we figured unless the coach asked to be alone with the student, then I would be the silent tag-along. I am SO glad I sat with them so that I could hear it all - my student had hoped I could stay just to be a second pair of ears. I was able to prompt my daughter near the end of her questions when she forgot a couple of ones that were important to her. By that point, the coach had begun to look at me too while talking, being inclusive - made me feel more a part of it all. It was VERY VERY helpful to have heard the conversation, expectations, enthusiasm first-hand. As I mentioned earlier, if I hadnât heard it all myself, I would have been somewhat suspicious/confused/bewildered - too much room for misinterpretation, etc.
All I can say is that it was something I wonât ever forget, even though absolutely none of it was about me!! The biggest surprises to me were how natural the visit seemed, with a focused but relaxed feel, if that makes any sense. (Perhaps because the coach does these so often!) Secondly, I was surprised by how upfront the coach was, no sense of âgame playingâ, and how very open & direct they were about their interest in my child - closer to anything approaching a verbal than I ever dreamed of. Very open about academic/testing requirements too for admissions, how many âslotsâ they have, etc. Very valuable information, needless to say. If my daughter ended up being on this team, it would be a really great fit - and her athletic ability would have absolutely helped to propel her into a very top school.
No matter what happens though, this was a really good experience âŠ</p>
<p>What questions were particularly helpful?</p>
<p>Our student has been asking about whether there are jrs and srs in the same major also on the teamâŠiowâŠcan students juggle bothâŠ</p>
<p>we do a trip later in the month so if you can think of particularly helpful questions, can you post here or pm me. thanks</p>
<p>fogfog as I reflect on our junior year visits, the chemistry between kid and coach was the most important part of choosing the team part of the college choice. Really take note of how your child perceives each coach, and how long it takes your child to relax and be himself (if ever).</p>
<p>The other thing I tried to tune in to was the things my kid was saying spontaneously about schools/coaches team. Itâs so tempting to say, âwell, did you like college x?â They may have trouble responding to the question. But if you listen, just in casual conversation, you might hear things like, âthe kids seem too seriousâ or âit seems like there are too many old people (grad students) hereâ or âthe food is terrible.â </p>
<p>I felt like these trips helped me understand what was really important to my kids as we visited schools (two through this process now.) Some kids completely donât care what the campus looks like, but are very sensitive to perceived friendliness of the students. Some kids need to see a mountain from the campus. Directly asking for a list of what your kid wants can be intimidating, but observing them on visits can tell you so much about what their gut is telling them they want.</p>
<p>fogfog: The questions from both sides were very direct. My daughter did ask about how her transcript stood up, what SAT scores were wanted, is there a major that seems to dominate the team, study abroad opportunities (would all have to be in the summer), how many practices a week, crosstraining, how many âslotsâ will the coach have to fill, does admissions take everyone that the coach makes a commitment with, and also requested that the coach be transparent with their interest level - that if she is no longer a candidate that they will tell her so (& vice versa).</p>
<p>riverrunner: great advice to listen to child as much as possible. You are also so right about the chemistry/connection between athlete and coach. My daughter loved this coach - there was a definite feeling of enjoyment between the two of them, & I know how much my daughter appreciated the apparent transparency of this coach - direct questions, lots of eye contact, lots of questions from the coach about where this school is on my daughterâs list of favorites, other top school choices, etc. </p>
<p>Subsequently, coach has made strong interest very clear - So great but I wish I had a crystal ballâŠ!</p>
<p>mayhew,</p>
<p>Youâve described an awesome visit for your daughter. Both of you are pros at this now. I noticed your daughter led the discussion, and you observed. Excellent! That is how most of the good visits go. The visit follow up actions on both sides now becomes very important, as the âdanceâ continues. Also, it is okay to still have questions after your visit. Thanks for updating us, and good luck with the next one.</p>
<p>fenwaysouth</p>
<p>Riverrunnerâyou are spot on from what I am hearing
You have said the same thing a mom of a newly recruited young lady just told meâŠ
chemistry is everythingâŠ
and that my student-athlete should check that out and not ask the tough questions right nowâŠto let it flowâŠ
I want to eb the smallest fly on the wall and let our student leadâ
Looking forward to it now that I have read such good news here and on other threads.</p>
<p>For baseball, the junior yr spring visits can be quite difficult, with games M,W&F. Not a lot of time to make it to schools that arenât close by. Would you think this would be necessary to do before the schools even know for sure who has accepted their offers from this year. Do people think this thread refers to Ivyâs and other academic schools?</p>
<p>mdstaz,</p>
<p>Yes it is difficult to visit a school while the sport is in season for you and the school. I donât think there are many visits going on during the season because every involved is busy. There may be some local visits, but that may be it. </p>
<p>The D1 timetable is much earlier than Ivy/D3. Personally, I saw it begin the summer after sophomore year for very elite athletes, and after junior year for most athletes. The level of recruitment and timetable is also determined by the level (or conference) of D1school. Ivys and D3s are on a vastly different timetable. Their recruiting activities are tied into admissions. My son saw their interest peak in the summer after junior year & fall of senior year. </p>
<p>I hope that answers your question. If you have specific questions, feel free to PM me. My family has the battle scars from the baseball recruiting is process. Weâre very excited it is over.</p>
<p>fenwaysouth</p>
<p>Our D is a h.s. jr soccer player. Asked to go on unofficial (out-of-state) to a D1 school. Already told what $ amount would be for her (a very nice amount!). Very small, Jesuit college. We are going -we have to! But, since they are heavilty recruiting her, will they be expecting a verbal commitment soon after our visit there? She has one other unofficial set up, but is hoping for more after the next couple of showcases. Would be nice to be able to wait till at least summer (before senior year) to see what her choices are and then make a decision. </p>
<p>Will coaches wait (maybe 5 months) for a verbal from you, if they are interested - or will they move on to someone else?</p>
<p>Any input would be appreciated.</p>
<p>^^^
At our school a jr girl has verballed to Princeton (soccer)
and a jr guy has verballed to Stanford (baseball)
many have verballed for other sports before theseâso it happensâŠ</p>
<p>that being said
a verbal is ânothingâ according to an ivy coach we met this weekâŠboth the coach and student can move onâit is a dicey thing</p>
<p>The coach said the benefit for the school is to attract higher players by saying -â-hey we have a verbal from so-and so to come next yrâŠâ assuming so and so has great stats</p>
<p>As great as a verbal is, I do believe it is worth the paper it is printed on, if you get my drift⊠My daughter was essentially verbaled with a condition at an ivy, yet neither she nor I take it as anywhere near a given at all. The only thing that is ârealâ is that early decision/likely letter/NLI that she hopes to hold in her hand by the end of this year :)</p>
<p>That being said, I do know that verbals happen, and are honored - someone on this site had a daughter who had it all transpire just right (canât remember who though!).</p>
<p>It just seems very scary for both sides to completely go on the word of someone who could change their minds at any time, at this point of the game. A verbal in September/October seems a lot more solid than a verbal in the winter or spring beforehand.</p>
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<p>mayhew, this is a slippery slope. </p>
<p>The Ivy recruiting window is short and hectic. They pay very close attention to who comes to the officials, and how each recruit fits with the team and coaches. The coaches can do a pretty accurate pre-read of the academic part of the application. If any of this isnât positive, any âverbalâ from the junior year winter or spring goes out the window. Also, you must assume if someone whoâs simply a better athlete and student shows up on the radar during the summer, accepts an official, and wants the spot, your verbal is out the window. The coaches do not have the complete slate of recruits until Sept/Oct, and in some sports, even later.</p>
<p>^^^ riverrunner, I totally agree with you, with everything you wrote. That is why I have a problem feeling comfortable with âverbalsâ that people speak of now - I feel as if it would be a potentially huge mistake to assume anything is âa givenâ at this point - even for the outstanding juniors - even sophomores - that get written about here. What if you have a bad season? Get injured? Get totally replaced by a significantly better athlete/student in the coachâs eyes? All of this is 100% possible. If it isnât in writing, or isnât during/right after an official visit, I just canât wholly accept it as a true thing.</p>
<p>Verbals are just promises . . . and they can and are broken on occasion. However, verbals are actually rarely broken so they do happen for the most part and that happens because a coach and his/her program have a reputation to uphold. Nevertheless, each aspiring athlete has to be very careful during this part of the passage. Perhaps thatâs another one of the reasons why athletics is so risky in the first place. A lot of stars have to be in alignment for all of these athletic admissions/scholarships to come to pass anyway. As I understand it, the Ivies force people to wait, wait, wait. Other universities of high caliber have their own systems that can legally lock up their athletes early on. Weâre taking the position that if there is no official document sealing the deal, come normal application time, my daughter is applying like all the other high school seniors in the US. I call it Plan B.</p>