Wait, sororities & fraternities pick their members based on looks?? Does everyone know this?
@llamamama1714 I don’t think anyone is saying that at all.
Ok—looks like a couple folks above mentioned this as a defining feature of a “top” sorority. That they have the prettiest girls to match up with the handsomest boys; which sounds a little 1953 but I know nothing about the Greek system! Thanks
I can think of one school where the “top” sororities have the “hottest” girls. Lots of emphasis on how they dress, and most are from families of substantial means. This creates a lot of unhappiness for girls who set their sights on these and who do not get bids. They have fancy dress parties, etc. and if you aren’t a member, you aren’t going. Hence getting shut out means a certain kind of activity with certain people is not going to be part of your experience.
Okay, at most schools with NPC sororities (26 national sororities), they use a system in rush to maximize the number of bids issued and insure almost all who want bids receive bids (and with Wake having a 3% non-match, it sounds like they use the system). The system limits the invitations the top ranked houses (not based on looks but on number of members and whether the top bids from the prior year accepted the bids) can issues, ‘funneling’ those who are unlikely to receive a final bid to other houses. Say there are 10 houses and 1000 girls going through rush. All 1000 are invited to the first party and there will be 10 parties. The second round there will be say 7 parties, but the top house cannot invite 700, but maybe only 500. A house that didn’t do quite as well numbers wise the year before might be able to invite back all 1000, but the recruits can only go to 7 parties. If someone isn’t invited to #1 house, it is more likely she will accept the 7 invitations she does receive, thus giving another house another chance.
On the recruit’s part, the promise is if they accept the max number of invitation in each round, they WILL get a bid as long as she receives at least one invitation in each round. Say the number of parties is 10, then 7, then 5, then 3. If the recruit accepts all 10, then 6 (all invited to), then 4, then 2, the system is designed that she should get a bid to one of those last two. If she is invited to 7 but only accepts invitations to 3 of those, the guarantee is gone.
It is a little complicated but it is a system that works. The houses have to be open about who they want and not keep inviting people back who they aren’t planning of giving a bid and the PNM have to be open to all the houses.
The ranking of the houses, at least for this system, is based on their records in recruitment and how successful they are in having bids accepted, in initiating the pledges, in retaining their members. Things change over time too, and houses go up and down in numbers.
Most schools try to have enough spaces to have everyone who wants to join the opportunity. At most of the big schools, everyone doesn’t live in the houses even one year. At my chapter at a flagship, there are 77 spots in the house, but most pledge classes are 130+, so that means a few sophomores and the officers live in the house. Others live in houses or apartments in the area and eat at the house on Monday nights. One daughter at a flagship lived in her house for 2.5 years and the other daughter (private school) spent 4 years on campus and never lived at the sorority (didn’t want to). They are all different. Some campuses give each sorority a wing of a dorm, others have no housing at all. Indiana does have a problem and I’m not sure why they haven’t added more chapters because they have interest from their students.
I agree with @gardenstategal - that does happen at some schools. Friend’s S at a non-southern school w/ Greek life, said the sororities are tiered like this - the really really pretty girls, the very pretty girls, the pretty girls. An article on hercampus for that school seems to back that up. Another friend whose D did not get a bid at a different school, thought that weight played into it. I’m sure that’s not the case at every school, but do think it is out there for some
My friend’s daughter recently went through rush at a popular large school and described the process as “speed dating.” The hopeful girl sits and has a two minute “conversation” with the sorority girl before moving on to the next two minute “conversation” with the next sorority girl. I asked her what the selection process is based on, and she told me that different sororities are looking for girls with a certain “ look.” Girls hoping for a certain sorority dress accordingly.
That being said…it doesn’t seem as though all schools are like that, and Wakes system does seem a whole lot better, and less dependent on who is “hot.” I read Wakes comments versus some of the comments at other schools…there is no comparison. Some of the other schools have pages and pages of references as to which sorority has the “hottest” girls. That doesn’t seem to be the case at Wake.
Well, we aren’t talking about a big state school like Alabama. These girls at Wake have to all be good students and I’m sure have a lot going for them. Hopefully they are bright enough to not pick their pledge class based on looks. I was more concerned because I do think connections could count and D won’t have as many of those as girls from states that are represented at higher rates at Wake.
@homerdog I agree with you. Is there any way for your D to talk to some of the sorority girls when you visit?
@twogirls I’m going to have her reach out to the two girls there from our high school. Also, this is only really a pressing matter if she decides later this spring that it’s her favorite and wants to use ED.
Long time lurker, first time poster
@homerdog - you don’t need to worry about knowing people as your daughter has all of her first semester to make connections and network. Sororities will even reach out to people they want to get to know. This is one of the advantages of a spring or sophomore rush: that students get a longer period to really get to know people before formal rush.
The downside is that they also have longer to listen to all the gossip and get attached to certain chapters. There is also the possibility of getting caught up in some kind of drama, or partying too much. Deferred rush can be heartbreaking when a student has built up connections with certain chapters, or can only see herself in one or two, and then gets cut from them. It can be much harder keeping an open mind.
All chapters, (incl those at Alabama!), have GPA cut offs, some of which are surprisingly high. First round cuts are often made on GPA, so there is pressure to do well academically first semester, whilst getting used to college, making friends, networking for sororities and keeping your nose clean.
Wishing your daughter all the best
If she is that committed to Greek life, you should investigate before you decide on a school. I know of sororities which determine membership on looks, wealth, pedigree, high school attended, and letters of recommendation from alumnae.
@twoinanddone That is the way rushed worked when I went through. I remember it being exhausting and emotional and it was 30+ years ago!
As for the breakdown with prettiest girls, pretty girls, not so pretty girls…I honestly don’t think that’s the way it works at most places. Our niece just went through at UIUC as did two of S19’s high school friends. Maybe it’s because there a LOT of houses to choose from, but they all said they could have seen themselves at any of the three they were considering in the end.
When I went through, I think NU had something like 12 sororities. It was not based on attractiveness. But I would say that there were some stereotypes - one house was clearly for the wealthiest of the girls. They somehow knew what everyone’s dad did for a living. I’m sure those girls had all kinds of recs written for them but most of us didn’t even know that was a thing. Then, there was the house for the girls with “old” money specifically. Those girls were on the down low about how much money their families had, not like the other house where it was flaunted. I’m sure they had all kinds of connections and recs and legacy behind them. And then, seriously, most of the other houses were pretty interchangeable.
I’m not completely in the dark about how rush and sororities work. I’ll just need to get some details. My worry stems from a comment I saw on a Wake thread and it was just one story, but it made it pretty clear that Greek life is big and social life without it really has to be pieced together. D would be really disappointed if she didn’t pledge at a school like that.
Yes - recommendations are really important too!
@CollegeMamb0 Right. I think maybe they’ve become more important over the years. As for legacy, we only had to keep legacies through the first round and then, if we didn’t see a match, we could cut that rushee. I hated rush on that side. I did not like judging girls so quickly on short conversations. I only experienced it sophomore year and then I was a rush counselor for junior and senior year. Rush counselors led groups of freshmen through the process. I liked that job!
DD is in a sorority at WFU. She is reserved, studious, doesn’t drink, not a partier but enjoys going out. She casually knew only one person at the school when she enrolled. There are/were no students from our city there either. She was unhooked, with the exception of meeting a senior through a mutual acquaintance who helped some by setting up lunches with girls from her sorority during her first semester.
She spends more time with her other campus orgs than she does with her sorority, loves it, but it’s not the center of her existence.
Almost all the girls get bids, but it can be stressful, much like applying to a college. It seems to be about fit, which can be a lot of things. Grades are very important, for example, much different from my animal house frat experience.
DD had one friend who didn’t get a bid a couple of years ago. Devastated at the time, she got over it and is doing great things on campus. She has other friends who didn’t rush; it’s not for everyone.
Recommendation letters are not important there in most cases. It’s really more about fit. We laughed about that afterwards: mothers rush around in a panic getting recs for their daughters before rush and most of the sororities don’t consider them at all.
I think it takes a special type of kid who can successfully move on after not getting a bid…at a school where Greek life is big and where almost all girls get bids. That can’t be easy.
@marrast So helpful. Thanks for posting. 
I suspect that rushing sororities in the South may be a bit different than it is in the Midwest.
A news article about WFU just appeared on msn.com. Title is “Racist threats rattle students, faculty at Wake Forest University”.
P.S. I just finished reading the entire AP news release. Very disturbing. Important to read the entire news story.
@Publisher You and I have gone back and forth a number of times about the crime at WFU on multiple threads. Thanks for this post above. I don’t want to turn this thread into another crime at WFU thread, though, so let’s move on. Trust that we will be taking everything into consideration when D looks at schools. Obviously, I’m pretty detailed oriented about this search. Lol.
And I agree that this story is disturbing. No doubt.