<p>Hi I am currently a junior. My dad is a drunk. He drinks and smokes everyday but whenever he is on vacation (this whole week) he gets drunk everyday. He isn't a happy or funny drunk rather he is the type that throws dishes,yells racial slurs, calls me and my mother obscenities, and makes my life and my mother's miserable. I hate him so much ever since I was a kid he has been like this except when I was younger it was even worse. He has done very horrible things like drugs even when my mom was pregnant with me. You might be asking "Why on god earth did you're mother marry him?!" and the reason is she didn't. She did it out of fear, she had no family and he threatened her. This was a long time ago I don't know the details. But it sucks, to know that my mom could have had such a better life if she had never met him or had me. It is no longer physical abuse but it is verbal.</p>
<p>My mother doesn't want me to go to college. She see's it as a waste of time. She is so religious all she wants me to do is go to church with her and spread the word of God. Don't get me wrong I lov my mom and I do believe in God but going to church numerous times a week is overwhelming and I find the fact of her seeing college as a waste of time ridiculous. Today I mentioned "Oh if I get into UC Berkeley I could live with Stefanie (my cousin)" she said "Why not know? If you want to pursue something bad like university you might as well do it as quick as possible." I had always known she didn't like the idea but when she told me that I couldn't believe it. My mom is so dedicated to religion because she has been through a lot, she was beaten as a child, she cared for my aunt which died slowly and painfully of cancer, the similiar case with my grandma a year after, all her siblings have died of 8 except one and she didn't want to get married to my dad.</p>
<p>So many people go through more than me but I can't take it. I don't say that in a suicidal way just in a tired way. I used to think eery kid had a drunk father, really, then I found out only disfunctional families do. Focusing on school is so hard and I can't help but envy kids who have non-alcoholic parents. </p>
<p>The purpose of this thread? I don't know, to let out some steam, get advice.</p>
<p>You have one more year to go… I read some of your other posts, and it looks like you will be well positioned for college admissions next year. Tons of APs, good ECs, Hispanic, first generation (sort of). The main thing you will need from your parents is cooperation in filling out the FAFSA, I think you are going to have to (and will be able to) handle the rest by yourself.</p>
<p>One thing to think about is making sure you get some good safety schools with great merit aid on your list, just in case. It will make it a lot easier to be more independent of your parents if you have some good financial options in your acceptances.</p>
<p>I am not totally sure I understand your post. Is she telling you to go live with your cousin while you finish high school? She might be bitter about you going to college when her degree (from another country per your other posts) has been useless to her in the US. It doesn’t sound like she has talked about blocking your application process, though.</p>
<p>Best thing you can do is lay low and try to keep yourself and your mom safe this next year. If your dad crosses the line to physical abuse, call the police. Hang in there… eventually you will go to college, and maybe (if she wants it), you can help your mom leave your dad eventually.</p>
<p>My mother was being sarcastic when she said I should live with my cousin, I mentioned it as a thought but she said “Why don’t you just leave right now?” as in saying if I am going to waste money and time in college the quicker I get it over with the better.</p>
<p>@lilmelonred: As the bible only states adultery as a reason for divorce my mother takes that completely seriously. It frustrates me a lot but those are my mothers beliefs.</p>
<p>@intparent: Thank you for the comforting words it means so much. My mom doesn’t plan on stopping me from applying to college but I definitely won’t leave her a lone with my father. Whichever college I’m going to I am going to go with my mother, she also has told me that as soon as I leave she’s seperating from my father. Thank you again so much.</p>
<p>@jonri: I’ll be sure to look it up, I didn’t know about these meetings! Thank you!</p>
<p>RFav32-- You can have a better life. The rest of your life does not have to be what your life has been up to now. Alateen is a great idea in terms of support with regard to living in a family with substance abuse and getting past it in your own life (not having it define you, understanding its emotional reach). Do you have any teachers, club leaders, family friends who can mentor you through the college search process? Of course, post here, and we will guide and cheer you on. Those of us from CA can share our experiences if you are interested in schools in state. But, I meant, more of the face-to-face emotional support as well as concrete assistance. It may help to reach out to someone who can be a mentor or an ally to you as you take steps that your father is not interested in and that your mother does not support. Keep in touch with us here too; we will be glad to provide online guidance and tlc. I am so sorry that you have to begin your foray into adulthood this way. Please do not let anyone dissuade you from living your dreams. Hugs and peace to you, dear.</p>