<p>I have the coolest Jansport backpack ever.
It's a fishnet.</p>
<p>Alright, time to start reading for my history class.
I am seriously behind like no other.</p>
<p>I've a rolling backpack. :rolleyes: Cuz I've a very bad schedule from 8am to 4pm MTWF and I'm a commuter. It's too late to study after school. And the best way for Southies to utilize time between classes is to study :rolleyes:</p>
<p>it's hard to tell if that is satire, especially since its written by a fat white guy :rolleyes:</p>
<p>i thought the article was totaly serious. </p>
<p>and i was wondering why ucla would allow such a publication since asians might find it offensive, i am not asian so i just though ... hmm, there ARE a lot of asians here.... (but that was as much as i thought about it)</p>
<p>
[quote]
it's hard to tell if that is satire, especially since its written by a fat white guy
[/quote]
</p>
<p>Color of skin and weight definitely make satire difficult to identify.</p>
<p>:rolleyes:</p>
<p>
[quote]
Color of skin and weight definitely make satire difficult to identify.
[/quote]
</p>
<p>levine is not swift and this article ain't gulliver's travels :rolleyes:</p>
<p>The article wasn't that funny. But I think that people are getting a bit to PC over it.</p>
<p>This was not satire. There was like one line of sarcasm in there to disguise the fact this guy is a full fledged flaming racist.</p>
<p>Wow.</p>
<p>
[quote]
sat‧ire –noun
1. the use of irony, sarcasm, ridicule, or the like, in exposing, denouncing, or deriding vice, folly, etc.
2. a literary composition, in verse or prose, in which human folly and vice are held up to scorn, derision, or ridicule.
[/quote]
</p>
<p>I think it just might work, people. Just maybe.</p>
<p>Oh...my...God.</p>
<p>Satire shouldn't sound sarcastic! That's the bloody point!</p>
<p>Read on, dear folks, and notice something:</p>
<p>"I am assured by our merchants, that a boy or a girl before twelve years old is no salable commodity; and even when they come to this age they will not yield above three pounds, or three pounds and half-a-crown at most on the exchange; which cannot turn to account either to the parents or kingdom, the charge of nutriment and rags having been at least four times that value.</p>
<p>I shall now therefore humbly propose my own thoughts, which I hope will not be liable to the least objection.</p>
<p>I have been assured by a very knowing American of my acquaintance in London, that a young healthy child well nursed is at a year old a most delicious, nourishing, and wholesome food, whether stewed, roasted, baked, or boiled; and I make no doubt that it will equally serve in a fricassee or a ragout.</p>
<p>I do therefore humbly offer it to public consideration that of the hundred and twenty thousand children already computed, twenty thousand may be reserved for breed, whereof only one-fourth part to be males; which is more than we allow to sheep, black cattle or swine; and my reason is, that these children are seldom the fruits of marriage, a circumstance not much regarded by our savages, therefore one male will be sufficient to serve four females. That the remaining hundred thousand may, at a year old, be offered in the sale to the persons of quality and fortune through the kingdom; always advising the mother to let them suck plentifully in the last month, so as to render them plump and fat for a good table. A child will make two dishes at an entertainment for friends; and when the family dines alone, the fore or hind quarter will make a reasonable dish, and seasoned with a little pepper or salt will be very good boiled on the fourth day, especially in winter.</p>
<p>I have reckoned upon a medium that a child just born will weigh 12 pounds, and in a solar year, if tolerably nursed, increaseth to 28 pounds.</p>
<p>I grant this food will be somewhat dear, and therefore very proper for landlords, who, as they have already devoured most of the parents, seem to have the best title to the children.</p>
<p>Infant's flesh will be in season throughout the year, but more plentiful in March, and a little before and after; for we are told by a grave author, an eminent French physician, that fish being a prolific diet, there are more children born in Roman Catholic countries about nine months after Lent than at any other season; therefore, reckoning a year after Lent, the markets will be more glutted than usual, because the number of popish infants is at least three to one in this kingdom: and therefore it will have one other collateral advantage, by lessening the number of papists among us."</p>
<p>He sounds 100% seriously super cereal.</p>
<p>Now I'm not saying that Levine did a good job. But satire shouldn't be obvious. EVER.</p>
<p>Right. And I agree with that.</p>
<p>I wasn't saying that this piece specifically or that satire in general should come across as sarcastic. I was saying that he did a very poor job of conveying what he was trying to convey, and that his writing style sucks. Based on how many people clearly DIDN'T GET IT, I'd say he didn't do too well. The piece which he was trying to mimic, and which you quoted, isn't obvious and yet makes it's point pretty damn well. Levine's failed.</p>
<p>That's all.</p>
<p>
[quote]
Based on how many people clearly DIDN'T GET IT, I'd say he didn't do too well.
[/quote]
</p>
<p>Pfft. I've met people at UCLA that didn't realize that Swift was writing satire.</p>
<p>I don't take the masses as an indication of whether or not the point is clear. At least not when it comes to youfs.</p>
<p>
[quote]
Pfft. I've met people at UCLA that didn't realize that Swift was writing satire.</p>
<p>I don't take the masses as an indication of whether or not the point is clear. At least not when it comes to you[th]s.
[/quote]
</p>
<p>Have truer words been spoken?</p>
<p>well, that's true. </p>
<p>too many people are too dumb.</p>
<p>Does bamboo even have a smell? Maybe incense would have formed a better analogy. :rolleyes:</p>
<p>Having lived in Japan I can say that bamboo DOES have a smell...but you need a lot of it.</p>
<p>how dare those asians try to succeed academically :rolleyes:</p>
<p>Umm...I don't think that was his point. But that's okay.</p>
<p>that exactly is the point....the article is apropos of the whole "holistic admission" debate...</p>
<p>Right. But it's satire aimed at the whole silliness.</p>