<p>California(place desired SAT score here),</p>
<ol>
<li>DO you have anyone else to play with? </li>
<li>Is everyone else you know tired of hearing about it?</li>
<li>Do you lie in bed at night wistfully oogoling your autographed picture of Rush Limbaugh, or O'Rielly, with visions of mud-slinging dancing in your head?</li>
<li>Do you feel the need to reform the whole world, or just the Ivy League (because god knows that in the world we live in the most desperate issue is the Ivies not holding up there end of the world prestige game?)</li>
</ol>
<p>If you answered yes to any of the questions, seek help elsewhere, because we are not talented enough to help you (we just want to go to Dartmouth).</p>