<p>So, I've been reading a few things, have asked a friend on it who is attending UF, and she says the dating scene is atrocious. Now, I'm not expecting a long-term relationship (to be frank, I just ran away from one :p) or anything, but some casual dating in addition to maybe a monogamous relationship or two (each no more than few months long) would be what would make me happy.
College dating just looks like it's horrid all over again; my door wasn't being banged down and no..and I honestly mean * none, no, zip, zilch etc * guys were interested in me. I was looking forward to college being a new pool of people, a chance to start anew, to make new friends and to look into dating a few nice guys that I get along with.
Is the college dating scene really that bad?</p>
<p>I wouldn’t call something a relationship if it is “no more than a few months long.” </p>
<p>I personally started with online dating, dated a couple guys, and then found my bf who just happened to attend the same university as me. The college dating scene isn’t all that bad…you just got to try. But to be honest, I would not have ever been able to have gotten my relationship had I tried the traditional route.</p>
<p>You might need to look outside of your college to get some action.</p>
<p>I’m not sure “casual dating” in the sense you’re thinking of ever really existed, either in college or real life. It’s a construct of pop culture. </p>
<p>In any case I’m not one of those lamenting the lack of “casual dating” in college. If you want to ask someone out either casually or formally, or get to know someone better, there are millions of avenues to do so. Most people just don’t have the balls to ask–it’s not a question of there being an absent mechanism (dating) prohiting this.</p>
<p>A monogamous relationship at college straight out of high school is rather foolish in my opinion. Live your life a little. No guys I know are looking for a “girlfriend”.</p>
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Going on one-on-one outings with a person of possible romantic interest? Either fully paid for (or not) by the male in the relationship…? And there is no commitment to said person until after a few “dates”? </p>
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Yeah, but hooking up at parties isn’t my idea of “living a little”. I enjoy getting to know people, but not in that setting. The party scene is really…not for me. :p</p>
<p>^Yes. Dating as a coordinated one-on-one social outing with the function of assessing your date’s viability as a potential partner is effectively non-existent in college. Maybe I’m being presumptuous about casual dating in real life, but according to some of my graduated friends, it’s about as vibrant as it is in college. </p>
<p>But I’m just calling it as I see it. If you want to ask some guy out for coffee or something, you definitely should break the social inertia. (And in general, girls should initiate more. Girls don’t understand that having the balls to approach a guy = major major bonus points)</p>
<p>No one said anything about random shags, but having one less thing to tie you down will make your college experience more care free. </p>
<p>-Take that with a grain of salt.</p>
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Wow. This I did not know. How…strange? How do things work, then?</p>
<p>You’ll meet people at parties or through your network of friends. If you decide to start seeing someone exclusively you’ll just spend more time together. Dating in college is primarily a commitment to not fool around with anyone else. Most of your social time will still be spent with your friends and in large groups.</p>
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How do you even determine that if there are no dates and no extra time spent together before agreeing not to “fool around with anybody else”? This is really what I don’t understand. :p</p>
<p>just hanging out in your room or on campus. sorry it’s not more glamorous than that, its more fun than it sounds. </p>
<p>It’s also possible that I’m just a rotten boyfriend and whoever you meet will take you out all the time.</p>
<p>It’s just a natural progression of things. I agree with QKiain, very few (if any) people directly say “Hey, let’s grab lunch/dinner/whatever sometime.” It’s more just spending hours upon hours together which leads to macking, and then both of you just don’t really want to see anyone else.</p>
<p>I agree that its not glamorous but its definitely more fun than it sounds</p>
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No, no. I’m not expecting that. I just thought dating was anything from spending time in the library picking out a book to…walking around campus and talking about anything and everything? I can see that’s sort of what happens, though, so I’m a lot less confused. Thanks guys!
I’m not expecting glamorous…just as long as * some * form of courting goes on. That it’s not just a, "I think you’re attractive and available, and the same seems to be true in terms of what you think of me. Let’s hit the back room and make-out. 
" Because that…isn’t charming. or appealing to me in the least. 
If I meet somebody that I’d like to date and agree to “not fool around with anyone else” then…great. If not…ah well, grad school then.</p>
<p>Oh well then you’re just using the wrong terminology. Everyone else, correct me if it’s different for yall, but hanging out exclusively is “talking”/“being together” (depending on the length of time it’s been going on), going on physical dates is “dating,” and once someone asks the other out–either on Facebook or in real life or whatever–its “in a relationship.”</p>
<p>I just got this whole “I don’t want to be committed” vibe from all of the college community. At least to those who I’ve spoken to…so I’m pleased to see that this doesn’t omit “hanging out/dating (in my terms)” people or getting to know one another casually (this would be “casually dating” to me) without jumping one another’s bones. I’m just also worried on not being on par with peers who are alright with random hook-ups and whatnot. I’ve discovered that it’s not my personality to enjoy those kinds of things, though, so it’s not as if I have religion or morals to be self-righteous about. :p</p>
<p>I think youre putting this whole “dating” ritual on a pedestal. “Courting” should be a natural occurrence, not some pre-meditated routine. Just go with it.</p>
<p>Who cares if youre not using the right terminology, if you dig someone, make it known.</p>
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I get the feeling, too. One girl explicitly mentioned it, too, b/c according to her, she was too busy with schooling. She’s an engineer like myself. I’m honestly not even sure if or when I will find time for myself to meet more people. I definitley wouldn’t mind getting off campus for a few “dates”, casual or not.</p>
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Yeah, this concerns me too given that I’ll be in an intense, science-based field most likely. But I figure that if socialization is high up on the scale of priorities, I’ll make it happen…in between classes, right before lectures, or even a little after studying. In my eye, there should * always * be time for socialization, and college, to me at least, is the perfect time to understand what I’m looking for more in a significant other (much further down the way) by way of “casual dating”; to me, this requires some sort of basic commitment to the idea of getting to know somebody on a more intimate level that I’m not so sure…people are with me on! Ah well, we’ll see.</p>
<p>At this point, I’m pretty much game for this sort of dating. The wait for actually leaving my hometown and heading to college has been horrible.</p>