<p>My daughter has been accepted to 6 wonderful colleges, and says she's picked one . . .but there is no excitement in her voice. When I read through some thoughts from kids, they all seem so excited to be accepted to a certain college. My daughter is very involved with her high school, and I am thinking that she just doesn't want it to end. She is part of a 8-student group of senior executives, and they do so much together, and do wonderful things for the school. She also has a boyfriend/friend that she adores since 10th grade. He will be going to an in-state school--she will be more than 15 hours away from home! Encouraged her to apply to state university just in case she decided she wanted to stay home--gave her a very nice merit scholarship, but she is not interested at all.</p>
<p>If she is first born, this is very common…even my younger daughter who is insanely excited about the school she is going to in the fall is starting to get weepy about leaving her friends, HS etc…</p>
<p>give her time…alot of it…and you ask any advice on talking to her? my best advice: don’t…don’t talk to her until she wants to talk…</p>
<p>I found that the next 6 months are the hardest…the kids know they are moving on and are mostly excited about it but they are still intensely nervous and anxious about the next chapter of their lives…</p>
<p>My S1 is the same, very calm and composed when gotten acceptance letters/news. Parents are more emotional. Well, I think kids know better than we are giving them credit for. I would leave her alone and have her make her own decisions. It is her life anyway. The only way I can influence S1’s decision is by financial means. Some schools are more expensive than others. I would use that leverage, if I have to. But I may not, since I know my boy is a very level-headed young man. I trust his decision on this one.</p>
That pretty much addresses why she’s not hopping around excited about college. She’s enjoying her last year in HS and isn’t looking forward to being away from the BF. I think it’s perfectly normal for her to react the way she is. I think the perceived issue is compounded by the difference in excitement levels between the student and the parent who, of course, is excited about this stage of her life.</p>
<p>She may also be taking a more business like approach to college as opposed to the ‘excited dream school’ approach.</p>
<p>I say don’t worry about it based on what you posted and agree with Rodney not to treat it as a problem you need to talk about a lot with her but of course, see how it goes for her as the time approaches and be vigilant in case a true problem arises.</p>
<p>DS is a junior and gets irritated by my constant chatter about college. He told me that “time goes too fast as it is; if you’re always thinking about future plans then you’ll waste the precious time that you have right now.”</p>
<p>Whenever I start to doubt his maturity he throws something like that at me and I realize that he may have a better outlook on life than I do!</p>
<p>As parents it’s hard not to be excited and even unconsciously live vicariously through our kids. I know that every time we visit a college I can’t help but want to go back to school. </p>
<p>My daughter is a freshman in college and she was difficult to live with during her last semester of senior year and over the summer before she left for school. This is an anxious time for kids. They can’t wait to leave the nest but they’re terrified at the same time.</p>
<p>Just give your daughter the space she needs, she’ll come around.</p>
<p>This time in your daughter’s life isn’t just a new beginning. It’s also an ending.</p>
<p>The same thing will happen again four years from now when she leaves college for whatever comes next.</p>
<p>For some young people, these transitions are all about looking forward – either happily or nervously – but for others, there’s also a need to mourn the stage of life that’s coming to an end. Your daughter may just need some time to process the end of her apparently very satisfying high school life.</p>
<p>As the old saying goes (or something like it); one door closes, another one opens.</p>
<p>My oldest, my son, couldn’t wait to go to college and didn’t mind telling anyone/everyone about it. </p>
<p>My daughter was a lot more apprehensive; still excited, but didn’t want to talk about it much. She was very concerned about leaving her old friends behind. Didn’t help that she was going to a college on in New England and we live on Southern California. </p>
<p>Everything was going well, we were in Boston buying stuff she would need for school. About 36 hours before move in day/time she had a total melt down. Wasn’t sure this was the school for her, didn’t know how she would handle being so far away, etc, etc. She moved in, met her roommates, and has been going strong ever since. She loves it at school.</p>
<p>Going away to school is a big deal. Let her talk about it as she wishes. Keep a positive attitude and it should all go well. Just be there to listen when she needs you.</p>
<p>thank you so much for your caring remarks–it all makes sense.</p>
<p>I just want her to be happy, and right now–she is very happy with her senior year. She has picked a university that is a very good fit for her–when she got accepted back in January she received a personal telephone call, and since then has heard from student reps. on numerous occassions to talk about service projects, and extracurriculars that she can get herself involved in. It sounds as though she will be equally involved as she is in high school–and that is reassuring. </p>
<p>Yes–she is our first to go off to college! Wow–when did this all happen!!</p>
<p>If she has decided on the college, make sure she has a Tshirt or sweatshirt. (They are usually available online). Then encourage her to wear it - that will generated excited chatter with friends.</p>
<p>This is really hard for them to handle, speaking from experience. She needs to start thinking now about how she’s going to deal with a long-distance relationship.</p>
<p>to colorado om: yes! she has a tshirt from the school she will be attending, and wore it on one of her spirit days at school that was themed: college day!! she even went as far as to go online and order the ‘war paint’ and proceeded to paint her whole face just like the college students do! Her friends keep telling her that they can’t believe that she will be going oos–being that she is so close with her family. Maybe they are the ones that are making her feel a little wishy-washy.</p>
<p>As far as the “friend” goes–she will miss him terribly, but in the department of romance, I think if a guy were to sweep her off her feet at college, she could come home, and still be the best of friends with this guy at home.</p>
<p>thanks for the continued input! I know it’s all normal stuff they she is going through–gosh, I even find myself crying in the car when I think of the day when we drop her off!!!</p>
<p>Neither one of my kids where “excited” about going to college. For my S, college pales in comparison to his adventurous summer job and my D was far too busy to look that far ahead. That being said, they were anxious to get going. I’m sure you’ll see that over the summer.</p>
<p>As already stated by several posters, this is fairly normal as this change in ther lives is very big and many of these kids are not ready to accept it as they are still swept up in their senior year activities. Give her space with the exception of the final decision IF it will be based on financials. If that is the case you will have to get her attention and get her comfortable enough that you can review the financial options. Just remember that she must decide and commit to her school by May 1st.</p>
<p>D, also first born, sometimes seems completely apathetic about the whole process, to the point where she said, “Maybe I won’t go to college…” But she was happy to get her first acceptance last week.</p>
<p>I echo other posters --it’s exciting, but stressful, so they kind of shut down, emotionally.</p>
<p>If some of it is connected to being so far away, do you have any networks (alumnae or other) where she would have a “home base” near her new school? I’m thinking another nice mom who could have her over once in a while for dinner. Sort of like a home away from home?</p>
<p>I offered that to my brother whose daughter was going away to school. She never took me up on it, but I think it helped relieved some anxiety.</p>
<p>Same here, My S appears very unenthusiastic. He has already been accepted to honors programs at four good schools. I try to get him to watch some videos of the colleges that he has been accepted to - and he always says, “later” I don’t know if it is just a teen-age thing, but the advice to just give your daughter space -and love them and relish the remaining few months sounds good to me!</p>
<p>I agree with the other posters, that your daugher’s feeling are pretty typical. It can be particularly hard to look ahead when a kid is having a wonderful HS experience. It’s great that she is still so engaged in school acitivities. My daughter and most of her friends have pulled out of most school activities this year. This is certainly a bittersweet time, so just try to enjoy the moment.</p>
<p>“I even find myself crying in the car when I think of the day when we drop her off!!!”</p>
<p>It gets worse! I was misty eyed when I left campus on the day of drop off. My daughter was soooo ready for us to leave that it wasn’t as hard as I thought it would be.</p>
<p>However, the first time she came home to visit for the weekend I cried like a baby when she left to go back to school. When we left her at school the first time I didn’t know how much I’d miss her until she came home to visit. </p>
<p>She was home this past week for spring break and left about an hour ago to go back to school. Of course, I’m crying as I type this. </p>
<p>I know my S is still so overwhelmed with everything he needs to do to wrap up senior year that it is putting a damper on thinking about the next step.</p>