<p>We are totally bewildered. Our freshman girl is attending her dream school and she is really struggling with her grades. She had a 3.7 GPA in high school and was actively involved in track and was a varsity cheerleader. She was so thrilled when she was accepted into her dream school 3000 miles away. Fast forward ~ she is either in her dorm studying or at class. Even staying in on the weekends. She gets with the other biology majors for study sessions and still gets C's and D's on her math and biology exams. On top of this she is very homesick. Perhaps doing team sports would help, but her 8 hours of work per week would interfere she says. Last night on skype she burst into tears telling me all the work is not paying off for her, and it's not what she envisioned. I sat there stunned. I never thought I would here her mention coming home. Her friends tell her to stick it out for at least a year. Advice GREATLY appreciated.</p>
<p>Two questions I’d ask her:</p>
<p>Is she asking her professors for help during office hours? </p>
<p>Is she getting enough sleep?</p>
<p>If the answer to either of those is no, that’s at least part of the problem.</p>
<p>We forget sometimes that a top high school student, when she starts college, suddenly becomes just one of thousands of equally smart kids, with similar stats.</p>
<p>Studying math and biology is not easy.</p>
<p>Perhaps she should meet with a school counselor, just to chat. That is what they are there for.</p>
<p>Also, perhaps they have some sort of formal tutoring program. If not, I bet there are people around she could pay to tutor her.</p>
<p>I know how difficult it must be for you as a parent, seeing your daughter struggling as she is. I can relate a bit, as my child also had issues as a freshman at his dream school. It is a huge adjustment moving far from home, trying to be independent, meeting all new people and dealing with a challenging work load. I also have a friend who’s daughter is a freshman now and is having similar issues at her college; I don’t think it’s a totally unique situation (not that knowing that helps.) I would empathize with her and let her know that it IS an adjustment and she should give it time. I would also strongly encourage her to meet with a counselor at her school’s health services. This is something that they are equipped to help her through. One other thing - even though she has a lot of school work, I’d encourage her to participate in some intramural sport that she enjoys and doesn’t demand a huge time commitment. Spending all her time studying or in class is not a good idea; she needs something to help her de-stress.
Hugs to you…I know how difficult this can be. Good luck! Hopefully this will pass and things will get better soon.</p>
<p>Is she just unhappy/disappointed with her grades so far? Does she want to come home?</p>
<p>It must be quite difficult for her to do all that studying and not feel that it is paying off. Maybe she can identify what she feels she is not understanding. It could be that there is just a missing piece of knowledge, so to speak, and once she grasps it, she will be on her way to doing better.</p>
<p>I would also agree she might want to chat with the professor or the TAs in the class and see what they think.</p>
<p>I forgot to mention that she has meet with her advisor in her major, teachers and TA’s,</p>
<p>Is it possible that what she thinks are C’s and D’s may end up being higher grades after curving? I know at my son’s university there are generous curves in math and science classes. Many of these kids are shocked at getting 70% on an exam, but the class average might be 50%, and they end up with a really decent grade. Might want to find out of that is the case at her school. </p>
<p>I do hope she sticks it out and seeks help, by going to office hours, etc. She sounds like a smart girl, she just needs to find her footing.</p>
<p>A good friend’s D is at Columbia as a pre-med. She graduated as a Val from her high school. She just got her mid term grades back and they were few Cs. She asked her dad (my friend) if he was disappointed. He told her that he was already very proud of her.</p>
<p>The first semester is usually the toughest. D1 was a math/econ major in college. Her first math prelim score was 76 (C), but the mean was 70, so it became a B+. Her worst GPA was from her first semester. It got better each semester. I asked her if it’s because she got smarter or she got better at picking courses. 
</p>
<p>D1 went to see her professors/TAs a lot. She was surprised that so few people showed up for office hours. She said often it was just her and the professor. It was very useful right before an exam because often professors would emphasize certain material which would be on the test. </p>
<p>Sometimes they breakdown and cry in front of you, but then they get over it as soon they get off the phone with you.</p>
<p>One thing that my 4.0 HS daughter is struggling with her freshman year is that she is studying the material, but she is adjusting to how that material is applied on exams. In HS it was so straight forward, even on AP exams, it was basically memorization of material. In college the material has to be used to create solutions. A different way of being tested. Hopefully after your daughter had, what was in her opinion, a poor result, she was sitting at the door 10 minutes before office hours to either be reassured she was on track or to be given tips on how to study a different way for a different result. Going to study sessions can be a mixed bag. If the students are all approaching the material the same way and getting similar results, then their methology is off. When my daughter really looked at the first few weeks of college and how she spent her time, she realized she was only deeply studying 4 hours a day. Using the 8 hour rule, and subtracting class time from that 8 hours she realized she was not putting in as much time as she thought. She is now studying at least 6 hours a day outside of class and 4-5 each weekend day. Her results are changing for the better. She is also having to change her own expectations. Some of which I believe she had tied to me, believing I felt if she didn’t get a 4.0, I would have an issue with that. (and I don’t…let’s face it, the majority of Universities that are discussed here are a combination of the top 5-10% of US students, and our kids go from stars to “average”) She might squeeze a 4.0 this semester, but I suspect a 3.8 or so. But in order to obtain that, she is completely busting her backside. It can be isolating and kids can get a bit irritated that their peers are partying it up while they are hanging at the library.</p>
<p>If the college has tutorial services, that could be a huge help. Our daughter found that getting help with those tough science/math courses made all the difference. She had some great tutors who were able to help her organize her studies of the subjects better than she would have on her own. Students should use these services…most schools have them.</p>
<p>It’s hard enough having a kiddo far away (mine was 3000 miles away too). Even harder when they seem unhappy. Maybe finding a diversion would be a GOOD thing. Perhaps something like intermurals or a club would be good…or even a daily trip to the campus fitness center.</p>
<p>
This is an important point since your D is a freshman and hasn’t been there a full semester/quarter yet. More important than these particular grades is how she’s doing relative to everyone else in those classes - top, middle, or bottom third. Does she have an idea of that yet? Sometimes despite those mediocre grades students end up doing well enough on the exams, which are usually what really count in math/science courses, to get a decent final grade (even if the actual percentage on the test was lousy). It’s all usually a matter of relativity to the other students in the particular class.</p>
<p>You say she’s met with the profs - what do they say? What does your D think her issue is? Does she think the material is just too difficult for her?</p>
<p>I’m not suggesting she do this right away but a lot of students find themselves miserable after the first reality check of getting grades at what’s likely to be a college where the rigor is higher than she’s used to from HS, decide that the math/science/engineering based major really isn’t for them, and switch to a different major at the same college and end up happy.</p>
<p>Get her to go talk to academic counselor. And one topic she may want to discuss is whether on not she wants to continue in bio and/or math. I’m in an SSS office. We do academic counseling with all our students. Lots of fresmen come in thinking “I want to be X,” only to discover that they don’t like the classes required for X or that they’re just not as good as X as they need to be to reach their goals. And then, of course, some decide that yes, X is what they do indeed want. Then the conversation becomes about what can be done to improve performance.</p>
<p>I agree with ordinarylives post. My D was going through the same situation in her freshman year. She soon discovered that she didn’t like the math and science courses therefore she decided to switch her major to one which more of the English Lit. courses. She is doing much better and loves the topics. </p>
<p>I believe it is up to them to find there way in the college life and of course always listen, and be there for support. </p>
<p>Encourage your daughter to see a counselor and then she can make decisions and adjustments when needed.</p>
<p>She needs encouragement, support and lots of love from the family. I think she needs to hear that, “it is ok, and she is not a failure, that everything will get better once she settles in”.<br>
Students get into college with the “A” mentality and they feel like failures with the first grades. In addition, some are even thinking of the money issues which raises even more stress or burden on their shoulders. </p>
<p>Telling them that coming home is not an option, will make them solve solutions and make decisions on their own. And eventually they will love you for it. </p>
<p>Send her a box with goodies and attach a card! </p>
<p>Good luck</p>
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<p>Everyone is different, but I generally would feel better when I have options. I would tell my kid to give it a shot until ___, and if she really still hates it then we would consider transfer. She would still need good grades to transfer.</p>
<p>A box of goodies would cheer up most people.</p>
<p>In addition to seeing her teachers, perhaps your D should check in with a learning center if available. They can really help with time management and test prep and help your D be as efficient as possible so that she will have time to do sports or other fun outlets which would probably make her less homesick. Really does get better but very hard to hear your child be unhappy. Will she be home for T-giving? Some TLC at home will also help! So much for these kids to adjust to in a short time. Hope things turn around.</p>
<p>Is the job important for her this year? Many times freshmen benefit from not having a job, especially in that first semester. Is the math too fast, too advanced, too theoretical? Did she skip any math because of AP exams? </p>
<p>Hard when your kid is hurting. It must be even harder when you see it on Skype. I agree with the idea of a small care box.</p>
<p>This thread may be of great help:</p>
<p><a href=“http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/college-search-selection/1185550-getting-plowed-my-freshman-year-princeton.html[/url]”>http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/college-search-selection/1185550-getting-plowed-my-freshman-year-princeton.html</a></p>
<p>My D is an engineering major at a highly regarded technical college. During freshman orentation, the president described the attributes of the class of 2015- 44% with 4.0 in HS, 100 Vals or Sals, etc. Then he said that starting now, all of what you did in HS no longer matters. </p>
<p>He also said that there are 9 words for success at the school:
Go to class
Do the work
Ask for help</p>
<p>The last advice hit hard: “Half of you will now be in a place that you never were before- the bottom of your class.”</p>
<p>My D was initially struggling with Calculus. At one point, she thought she may fail. (she told us this after she got her final grade) She formed a study group with others in her class and dorm- which is a great way to meet people. She finished the term with a B. She now has 1 term behind her, and has learned the college studying process, which can vary greatly from HS.</p>
<p>Good luck to your D.</p>
<p>Hugs to you and your D. As others have said she needs to go get extra help. If after all the studying she is doing she is still doiong poorly, she just isn’t “getting it.” Science and math are not all about memorization. You need to “get it” and understand it. Whether there is free help available or she has to pay for it, she needs to get it quick. Keep in mind the college would not have accepted her if they didn’t think she could succeed. Tell her to stay calm and keep her eye on the prize. One day at a time.</p>
<p>My D’s roommate changed majors after her freshman year. She still studies all day and night and puts a lot of pressure on herself. D thinks roommate does not know how to study. Could this be the case? Is your D memorizing when she should be doing practice problems?
I agree with other posters to seek help, both academic and emotional.
Good luck to both of you</p>