Daughter switched to a less prestigious high school

<p>My daughter is a junior. For her first two years of high school, she went to our very highly regarded public high school, took all honors classes and made A's, (one B+ in Honors Alg. II). She did very well on the PSAT (missed a few points on math, perfect scores on the other two sections), and received top student awards in many of her classes. She also went to Breadloaf and loved it. (If this sounds familiar, it's because I've posted about her before with a different question.)</p>

<p>Well, she was miserable at that school, had no time to write, practice piano, sing or do the other things that she really loves, because of the work load. So this summer, she decided to transfer to a small Christian high school that is definitely less prestigious. It has fewer APs and challenging courses, although she is taking what is available. She loves the school and is happier than I've seen her in years. She has begun writing again, and because of the school's "life balance" philosophy, has a lot less homework. I don't regret her decision to make this change because her emotional health has to come first, and she was losing her love of learning at that old school. There really was no other choice but to leave.</p>

<p>But of course, this raises the question of how she should address this on her college apps. She really thinks she wants to go to a small liberal arts school (Oberlin and Middlebury are on her radar) but I'm curious about how an admissions committee might look at her. They must see other kids like this all the time.</p>

<p>Do you mean to say that you’re wondering whether she’ll have to explain why she changed high schools? If so, I don’t think she will.</p>

<p>Why does she need to address this at all? She changed high schools. Parents move from one town to the other, other life circumstances change … Elite colleges know that the “prestige” of a school has everything to do with the parents’ circumstances and very little to do with the kid himself / herself. Please, plenty of kids who did nothing other than attend the local public get into these schools all the time.</p>

<p>So long as she writes a great essay addressing “Why Oberlin” or “Why Middlebury” and sufficiently addresses her reasons for transferring…I don’t see why this would be an issue with the admissions committee. </p>

<p>If anything, if done right…it may actually enhance her chances as she’d stand out as one of the few applicants from a religious school in Oberlin’s case.*</p>

<ul>
<li>Disclosure: Oberlin alum here. :)</li>
</ul>

<p>I disagree. I don’t see why she needs to address her reasons for transferring at all, unless in doing so she reveals something about herself that she wants to emphasize.</p>

<p>Not sure it needs explanation. Moreover, the explanation would be worse than ignoring the issue. ‘I transferred high schools to obtain a lower workload’ is probably not a good way to pitch an app to a highly competitive college, like Midd, where the workload is gonna be a heckuva step up even from her former HS.</p>

<p>I don’t think she will have to explain it. There’s no spot on the common app that asks why you switched schools. If an interviewer asks her I’m sure she can come up with multiple good reasons besides " my new school has less work". An alum interviewer will probably only have the current high school info anyway. My H is an alum interviewer and the only info he gets is name, high school, and contact info.</p>

<p>I agree with all the above posters. I would add that her curriculum for her last two years of high school will be less challenging than what schools like Middlebury and Oberlin sometimes see. Given that I would be sure to include other small LACs that are easier to get into on her list of schools. But that is the same advice I would give to anyone who wants a school like Oberlin or Middlebury, because these are hardly safety schools.</p>

<p>Hey Massmomm, my son did the same thing. I thought he was the only crazy kid out there. We’ll have to compare notes, especially when we start getting our acceptances/rejections next year. The fact that they’re going to private schools should count for something with the prvate colleges. My son seems so much happier, but I’m a little worried as I’ve only seen him do homework once in the last month. And to think that we’re paying for this!!!</p>

<p>I don’t think it needs to be explained. But the switch could actually work in her favor. If she transferred because she wanted to spend more time on writing or music, or even just wanted a sane life style in which she could explore her interests better, many top colleges would think very well of her.</p>

<p>Breadloaf in itself is pretty prestigious. Maybe she could include some writing samples and a letter from a Breadloaf teacher in her application (and/or a piano CD) along with a note explaining that she transferred to have time to devote to…her “passions” (overused word around here, but you get the idea).</p>

<p>She has a great transcript from the public school already, and great test scores, so she’ll meet any academic cut off point, and then she is showing real character I think, by not playing the conventional admissions game. Ironically, the admissions folks will see that.</p>

<p>Massmom and Toledo, can I join the club? My unconventional DD changed after sophomore year due to being socially miserable at our highly ranked incredibly convention-bound public HS, now attending a small school for nontraditional students with MUCH less work and fewer AP’s </p>

<p>Our college counselor (private, as this school doesn’t have great college advising) said we absolutely needed to explain why she changed to a less challenging environment (especially because her GPA did go down sophomore year). She’s themed her common app essay around how important it is to her to be in a place where she is accepted for herself.</p>

<p>As far as the lighter workload goes, I have mixed feelings. I think the amount of work most kids are given in the public HS is insane and doesn’t correlate with the amount of learning. However, I want to make sure she can handle something approaching the level of work she’ll have in college…and not sure this school is preparing her adequately for that.</p>

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This is key. If she can put a strong essay together for this she should get into the right school for her - maybe not the most prestigious, but right for her.</p>

<p>I also do not see why it needs to explained in an essay or anything like that.
I would have her develop an answer in case the subject comes up in interviews; an answer that focuses on the positives/benefits of the switch. Like, she wanted a smaller, more personal environment (if it is smaller than old school).</p>

<p>Sort of like being prepared in a job interview. You’d never tell a prospective employer that you quit because there was too much work at your old job. You’d say you were looking for a place where you could contribute more broadly, had room to grow, etc.</p>

<p>I think she could spin this into a positive, actually. A deliberate choice to find a different type of school can show initiative, self-knowledge, and a will to take charge of her education, even if it takes her off the beaten path. That resonates with the self-image of many LACs and the type of students they hope to attract. The “Why Small LAC” essay could address the tremendous sense of warmth and community that she sought out at her second high school, and how she seeks a college that offers such a community, etc.</p>

<p>Sudsie and Compmom, you are both right on the money. She didn’t switch because she was lazy but because the insane workload did not allow her to develop her strongest gifts, music and writing. I went to Mount Holyoke, which has always been known for a very heavy reading load, even to this day, although it has slipped in the rankings from my era. Yet I did not have the workload DD had last year. For one thing, you only take 4 academic classes per semester in college. In HS, it’s at least 5 and even your gym/health class gives papers to write. The coaches expect you to be not only at every practice and game, but at every pasta dinner, too. There aren’t enough hours in the day to do everything with excellence and yet only excellence is acceptable. And none of this translates into a better educated child who loves learning. Sorry for the rant, but I think our public schools are sick. </p>

<p>She’s not flaking off in her new school–she just has an hour or two of work each night, which I think is reasonable, though certainly less than she’ll have in college. I’m not worried about her handling the workload in college. She just recognizes that a heavy workload doesn’t mean a better education and that’s really what she’s after. So far, she loves her new school; she joined the honors chorus, spends her study halls writing poetry in French, and is one of the faster runners on her rather slow cross-country team. If that stops her from getting into a “good” college, I still have no complaints because she is smiling again.</p>

<p>Toledo, I’m not sure about private colleges valuing private high schools more, unless you’re talking Deerfield or Phillips Andover. But I think fitting in cannot be overestimated. I would far rather have a child who really revels in what she’s learning anywhere than one who is wretched at some name school.</p>

<p>We’re not mentioning the school change. Other than some of our in-state public universities, who really know our first high school, I don’t think most colleges aren’t going to realize my son’s second high school is significantly less rigorous. My son already has a pat answer regarding his school change and it has nothing to do with rigor.</p>

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<p>^Applause!!!</p>

<p>I can identify with a lot in this thread. I went to an extraordinarily competitive high school and I feel that I really missed out on a lot socially. I really couldn’t try any new things during high school because pretty much every meaningful activity cut students. I felt as if apart from short breaks my entire time at home during the week was spent doing homework. I rarely hung out with friends, and I went to one dance freshman year in my entire time at high school.
It worked out for me in the end, I got into my first choice Ivy league school. But I still believe missed out on things during high school. I feel like if it hadn’t worked out for me I would have been incredibly resentful, much more than I was. However, now that I am in college I feel like I am in control in a way I didn’t in high school. I am double majoring in physics and math and take a very tough schedule but I still can make time to do other things that I always wanted to do, like volunteer in an urban elementary school. I feel that what I am learning is challenging, but the work is meaningful and not overblown. Because of this, I actually really enjoy doing my problem sets in college whereas homework was always a chore in high school since most of it was busy work that had no meaning. There is a time for busy work, but when it inflates homework to that extent it becomes harmful.</p>

<p>One of the things that I did learn from going to a competitive high school was how to manage. High school made it so that I get physically panicked if I procrastinate, so now I never have any issues getting work done in college and have done well. The second was that if I really wanted something, I couldn’t give up. Sometimes you will need to be flexible and change approach, but if you want to be heard you need to have that resilience to keep going even if you doubt yourself. </p>

<p>Would I have been happier if I had gone to a different school? I really think so. Not necessarily a less challenging one, but one that was less focused on competition and more on actual learning. But I can’t change the past, and I really feel like I have made up for it socially and intellectually at college. I am truly happy.</p>

<p>Your daughter did the right thing and I would address it casually in the essay. My daughter has had an atypical experience in high school and sacrificed all the activities that made me enjoy it. We chose, with her input, a “top 50” school. No football team. Very little time to socialize. How much school pride is generated over the physics team’s big win? She gave up dance at the end of junior year, summer vacations to take summer community college classes to get in required courses to take the ap classes that took two periods (labs) and falling asleep when she comes home on Friday afternoon. All her classmates are in the same boat and they help each other and have study groups in which they “socialize”. By the end of soph. year, I asked if she wanted out. She thought by then she had already sacrificed 4 years there (school is 7-12 grade) and wanted the diploma she worked so hard to earn and by then she felt she was such a “nerd” she wouldn’t fit in anymore at the local high because her old friends that go there had different priorities and she couldn’t relate to them as well as she once did. She has tried to tutor one her her old friends in algebra 1 and whenever she went over the girl wanted to chat and watch videos while “studying”. She has no patience with that but I told her that is how I was, lol. Yes, she has a great education, yes, she has been told college will seem easy, and she has made good friends who bond over the “rigor”. They actually have an ap exam the morning of graduation! How ironic: it officially ends with a test!!! Sorry for ranting and rambling but if I had a “do-over” I may have done things differently.</p>

<p>My oldest son’s experience at this competitive high school really infuenced my decision with my youngest son. My oldest went all the way through. Even though he finished with a 3.5 GPA, he felt like a failure. How do I know this? After he enrolled in college, the college sent him a survey. It asked him to rate himself in different areas in comparison to his high school classmates. How strong are your study skills? How well do you read compared to your classmates? How strong are your writing skills? I think they did this so they could see who might need some remedial help. Eventually my son met with his college advisor and she said she couldn’t believe his survey results. She said she was really worried about him, but now that he’s getting all A’s, she’s relieved. My oldest is now a senior with a 3.99 GPA. He finally feels great about his abilities. I’m sure his high school helped get him to this point, but it really damaged his self-esteem during those four years.</p>