Daughter with Severe Anxiety and Transfer?

Hello. New here. Don’t know where to post. Long time lurking here but first time posting. Figured this particular area of CC was a good place to start.
Daughter is currently a Freshman; well, she was a Freshman until last month. She was a Freshman at a small Liberal Arts College. She picked a college that truly was the “wrong fit” academically. She has social and generalized anxiety disorder. The college had small classes and expected quite a lot of participation. She basically melted down and couldn’t do it. The fact that COVID protocols did not enable in person classes didn’t help; she turned her computer camera off and didn’t engage. She felt very disconnected from school. Long story short: She totally blew it her fall semester. We let her go back in the Spring to try again. That was a mistake. She left the school and took a medical withdrawal with the advice of her psychiatrist in March. She is now getting extra help here at home for her anxiety and mental health issues. That is the most important thing.

She has determined in her therapy sessions that the combination of anxiety/depression, plus Zoom classes, plus non-standard teaching/grading structure of her school was the perfect storm. Total disaster.
She wants to take the summer to get help for the anxiety and then resume college in the fall, but NOT at the small liberal arts college.

But where? What to do and where to start?
She has several credits of community college already, because she did “dual enrollment “ as a senior in high school. Her grades from the community college were excellent.
We have been following the NACAC list of colleges with openings for fall 2021. But I don’t know who would take her. She is on academic probation from the small LAC. Her official transcript from there is abysmal.
I suggested that she do community college for a year. She isn’t thrilled. She wants to go to a midsize or large school.
Thanks. It’s been quite a drama.

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So sorry to hear about your daughter’s struggles. Such a difficult year! I’m glad she’s taking the time to get healthy!

Just to clarify…she has one semester of classes completed?

Not exactly. She did so poorly that she only got partial credit hours in a couple classes. She just has a few credit hours from the LAC. She has more credit hours from the community college dual enrollment experience.

The reason I’m asking is that she may not qualify as a transfer student if she hasn’t completed enough classes. I’m not certain how the schools would look at her DE courses.

One option could be to choose a couple of schools from the NACAC list, contact admissions and discuss your daughter’s situation. Covid proved incredibly challenging for so many students, if her HS record is strong and she’s currently working on her mental health, they may allow her to apply as a freshman. Or they may allow her to apply as a transfer but she’ll start in the freshman class.

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If she’s 100% against community college, I would recommend a large state school with many online options, if going in-person and speaking up is not her thing. There are plenty of less selective state schools in most states.

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Her high school record is strong. The community college grades in dual enrollment are also strong. Her small LAC grades are an unmitigated disaster. I do not say that lightly. This is not the typical CC “oh my grades suck; I only have a 3.4”. We are talking very bad. Anyway, she will have less than 24 semester hours and so might not be a true “transfer”. But most places I look say that if you attempted any college at all, you are considered a transfer. There’s no hiding that transcript and I have told her do not even try.

Do you have any city universities near you? We have Metro State in Denver that is a full university but also shares a campus with a community college and with CU-Denver. You apply to the school you want to go to but may be able to take courses at the other (not guaranteed). Most students are commuters, but Metro is a full university with div 2 athletics, performing arts, Greek life.

A friend transferred after she had an experience similar to your daughter’s - too much anxiety at the small univ., residential school. She loved the urban experience but lived at home (took the train), could get lost in big classes if she wanted but enjoyed the smaller classes once she was established in her major. Her hs stats were much higher than most at this school but it was really the right fit for her.

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I think that’s why it’s important to have a conversation with the admissions office about the situation. Be upfront, her transcript may not be the best, but the reasons behind it are real and she’s actively taking steps to address her mental health and that’s worth a lot. Shows maturity, initiative and self awareness. I’d like to think schools would be willing to look at the whole educational picture and not judge your daughter solely on one semester at college during Covid. If they’re unreceptive then it’s not the right place.

Also I don’t know how far away her current school is from your home but maybe she’d feel better being a little closer if she wasn’t before?

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Very far. We are on the West Coast. Her failed attempt at the small LAC was
On the East Cost.

Oh I can see how that would’ve been so tough for her! So many freshman had difficulty dealing with the isolation caused by all the Covid restrictions! Not what they signed up for!

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It might be worth trying to get a retroactive medical withdrawal from the small LAC first semester. Did she have a 504 or IEP in high school or college? That might provide a basis. If she cannot get rid of those grades, I think she is going to need to do a year of community college to show the problem is resolved (plus, some stability after resolution of the problem is probably a really good idea). Maybe she would like to try something else other than college? My little brother took a CNA certification class and was certified is 2 weeks. She could make a killing doing a quick technical school certification program in a construction trade and then working on the west coast. I know those things feel weird for a high achieving student but they make good money for a young person and she could virtually write her own ticket as a woman in those fields. Plus, doing something physical is a nice break for a troubled mind. Plus, its a great way to build up some quick successes for her on the personal front. She could always go to college 5 years from now and by that time she will have some great life skills that will allow her to get the most out of college.

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Perhaps colleges have altered their expectations during the pandemic, but typically a student has to be in good standing to be accepted by a new school. Otherwise the student has to attend an open admissions school that doesn’t require good standing. The usual route would be to attend a community college (they are the ones that have open admission) and then apply to a school that requires good standing. See what the specific language is about transfers on each college’s admissions website.

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Did the medical withdrawal wipe the slate clean for grades for the current semester? So then she just has fall grades? Was she on campus and isolated and doing online classes? Did she have anxiety and depression previously?

COVID created a disaster for mental health and academic focus for so many that in the long term this is not going to hurt her. But if she withdrew medically, she should not have grades on record for that semester, including NO W’s.

I would suggest she live at home, maybe get a small job, and take two classes maximum at community college. For medical withdrawals, most schools require proof of functioning to return and even though she is not going back to her previous school, new schools may want that and actually, it is a good idea regardless.

I personally believe that crises like that eventually may turn into opportunities to really look at what she needs and how she can thrive. It may not even be the path originally imagined.

Community college is not the only option either, if you want to pay. Many schools have online courses and/or continuing education/adult learner/degree completion programs.

Two of mine attended traditional college but one came home in a similar manner, worked at low level jobs and did community college, and eventually worked with autistic kids while in an adult learner program at Lesley. She will graduate at 29 but with a lot of life and work experience under her belt.

She lived at home at first and has been on her own since age 22 or so, living with roommates. Not on a campus, but good experience with others who also work and do school.

Just saying, maybe immediate return to a traditional campus can wait, and also, maybe that won’t necessarily end up as the goal.

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I saw someone else suggested retroactive medical withdrawal. That’s the first thing to sort out, if possible. She will have a hard time transferring anywhere I think if she has a super low GPA.

Honestly, if her anxiety is that bad, I think she would be best off at home. She can start at CC, maybe as she grows and matures and continues her therapy, she will be ready to transfer to a residential college in a year or two. There’s no shame in that path.

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Hello compmom. The medical withdrawal was processed in March. Her Spring semester (current semester) grades are gone and wiped away. The Fall ones remain.

We asked about retroactive withdrawal for the Fall. The school does not allow retroactive. We are just glad there is only one semester of disaster grades instead of two.

Lindagaf. Her anxiety is bad but she is getting help and we anticipate with continued work and a different medicine, she will improve. If community college is the path, that’s ok. We just wanted to help her explore other options, if there are any.

It’s been a strange world for more than a year now. Obviously if we knew she wouldn’t do well in a virtual Zoom environment, we would have encouraged her to take a year doing something else or defer.

Was she at home or on campus for virtual semesters. I just cannot imagine the on campus experience for freshmen.

The medical withdrawal will not state the reason, obviously, but prospective colleges will no doubt see that as an explanation for the bad grades. Still, they would want to see proven ability to function well, whether through work or school.

Has your daughter worked? Work really helped my daughter in a similar situation. Built her confidence and the activity helped anxiety. Social benefits too.

There are many paths to college degrees. You are doing the right thing by focusing on mental health, meds, therapy. There is no rush. I would not try to get her into a random school that has openings. She can take classes, one or two, in a variety of ways, or not take any until she feels better.

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She was on campus for virtual school. It was a joke. The internet in her dorm only functioned marginally well. She had exactly Zero in person classes for those months on campus. She tried to get in person anxiety help at the counseling center but they were closed. She had a zoom call once every two weeks for half an hour with them. Which was useless, she said. Oh well.

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I think most young people would develop anxiety and depression in this situation. Did she have problems before?? When she does apply to schools, she can explain all this in the supplementary essay. Her isolation must have been terrible and she was across the country from home and trapped in a sense. I feel so bad for students who endured this.

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Yes she had anxiety before. But not like this. And as I mentioned previously, it wasn’t just the isolation and COVID stuff. The school was a very bad fit for her. We all know that now. She will need to figure out what sort of place works for her, eventually. Probably community college is going to be the path. Sounds like it might be the best option, given that her GPA is pretty much ruined. She can improve it hopefully and move forward from this mess.

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Arizona State is one school that works with potential transfer students to help them get in, not find ways to try to say ‘no’ to them. If your D has any interest, it would be worthwhile to get in touch with ASU and see what they say. They have multiple pathways for transfer students.

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