I had to chuckle at my daughter’s reactions to her rejections from two of her most selective colleges today. When she found out, she just laughed and said “Good!”. Seriously, although she didn’t get into the most selective schools she applied to (but has seven good schools that she WAS admitted to to pick from) she’s just glad that her decision isn’t becoming more complicated! Gotta love that attitude!
Excellent. Sometimes our kids are more practical than we are!!
Yes, our S was quite decisive with Us that refused to be accommodating with his medical health issues–he said just throw their acceptances in the trash, no worries. It didn’t phase him in the least, since he had acceptances he was perfectly happy with. 
Our kids are definitely calmer and wiser than their stressed out parents. 
My D also was relieved on a certain level when she didn’t get into her top choice college. There was a rising star in second place that she had been accepted to EA, and if #1 had come through it would have been a difficult decision or allowed some potential for remorse.
Good for your D. Congrats on her success in the college application process and her great attitude.
When my S didn’t get into a college his reaction was “that is good – it means I applied to a the right range of schools”. I think he meant that if he got into all the schools he applied to he might wonder if he should have applied more aggressively so by getting that rejection he felt he had applied just right. Funny reaction but fortunately the most competitive school he applied to (the one he was rejected from) was not even his first choice so of course that made it even easier to take.
@happy1 , I think that’s how she feels too - if she hadn’t applied, later on she might have wondered about what might have been - but now she knows she did a good job in applying to several other good schools that were a better fit for her. Also, I looked on the threads for those colleges and some of the kids who applied were excited that they got accepted, but disappointed that they didn’t get much financial aid even though both the schools supposedly “meet all demonstrated need”. So it’s a win/win - we don’t get stuck having to tell a kid that, “Sorry, we can’t afford to send you to this great school even though you got in”. She got great merit aid at all of the private LAC’s she got accepted at so that makes them that more attractive.
The rejection is for something. Something big is waiting for her.
My D’s only outright rejections were luckily the last two decisions, from the two most selective colleges she applied to. By the time those decisions arrived, she already had 7 acceptances. The rejections by then were expected and totally anti-climactic. The best thing she did by far was apply to the right range of schools, as @happy1 's son did.
OP, your D will have a fun, but difficult time choosing. Choosing is even harder, in my opinion. But it beats waiting.
@LeastComplicated that’s funny and great attitude! Conversely, when D withdrew many applications after being accepted to her first choice school, one still sent an acceptance and she was kind of annoyed!!!
My D was pretty devastated when rejected from her top choice back in December. She seemed fine after a few days, but as it is my H alma mater and they will likely make a deep run in the NCAA tournament, it brings back the disappointment. That being said, she has since been accepted at all other schools she’s applied to and she has amazing choices.
Also, like @LeastComplicated , it was the most expensive school and we’re relieved on that score.
Wow, this is an extremely mature and practical approach, and a good template for so many things in life!
*Ah, but a man’s reach should exceed his grasp, Or what’s a heaven for? *
-Robert Browning
Smart Kid!
I am hoping that my D feels the same when her last 2 decisions come in (I’m expecting them to both be rejections). They will be the first rejections she’s had, so it’s difficult to know how she will react.
Fortunate to be in the same situation as @Lindagaf and @happy1 . Applied to multiple UCs and CSU and received early notification from some. Initial acceptances felt fantastic regardless of the school. Acceptance by first choice came before the more selective schools. By the time the reach schools notified, it was anti-climatic.
Advice for future applicants… Don’t compare yourself to others at your school. Essays, majors and a lot of unknown go into the acceptance process. Apply broadly and include more than one safety.
I took it harder than my daughter because I’m pretty sure needing financial aid had a lot to do with it.
This is a great thread! Just curious… how would you adapt this mindset for getting waitlisted? I’ve fortunately gotten accepted to a great in-state school, but part of me is still hoping that the waitlist school will come through. The thing is, I’m unlikely to get merit aid (I think) if I came off the waitlist, because I’d be near the bottom of the class, having been waitlisted, and merit aid is supposedly given to the top 15% of the class. Financial aid would maybe take it down 10-15k (judging from my offers from other private LACs) but it would still cost 15-20k more than the in-state school I was accepted to. So I guess my consolation can be that by not being accepted, I’m definitely saving my parents 60-80k… But then there’s the question of whether I should keep up grades, write a letter of continued interest, etc, in hopes of being taken off the waitlist for a school that I likely can’t afford… or simply succumb to senioritis.
Sorry, just had to get that off my chest… has anyone experienced something similar? Again, loved reading the insightful comments in this thread.
I love the attitude that having some rejections signals having applied to the right range of schools. Holding on to that for #2.
@xcgal17 I’m the OP. I think you answered your questions yourself. IMO, you seem to already be in the mindset of my daughter - that she was accepted to some good schools and drawing out the process and getting bummed about rejections just don’t serve any purpose. Look at it this way - if your parents could have afforded the extra cost of the wait list school, then maybe ask them about the possibility of using that money to study abroad during your time at the in-state school or set the funds aside in case you want to go to grad school. As a parent - that’s the silver lining that I see from my daughter’s rejections - that there are other ways we can help her enhance her educational experiences that we probably couldn’t have afforded if she had gotten accepted by the more selective schools she applied to. It really sounds like you are wanting to be done with this crazy process - and if that’s true, I don’t blame you one bit, and your parents probably wouldn’t either. Good Luck next year!
Reactions to those letters are interesting.
My kiddo opened hers from her reach school. She screamed the F word and started crying.
I thought this indicated she was rejected and went to console her.
No, Mom, I got in.
So, why “F Word”?
Because I have to go to this school now. I got in. I really didn’t expect this. I’d gotten used to the idea of going to (insert local university). And now, I’m kind of…terrified, and excited, and worried how I’ll do, and terrified, and relieved, and…omg, I got in…how am I going to do this?
Then we both said the F word, laughed, and hugged.
Sometimes a yes is more stressful than a no.
I honestly think if she’d been rejected, she’d have embraced (insert local university) and had a great experience, too.
Rolling with the punches is an essential life skill. I very much respect kids who do it with bravery and optimism…whether that means going to a school that seems so challenging they’re terrified, or making the best of a second choice…learning to cope inside life’s curve balls builds character.
OP, I love your daughter’s reaction.
Also loved the reaction of…Good, this proves I applied to the right range.
Good stuff. Good kids.
@MaryGJ My D had a similar reaction to a waitlist at a crazy high reach.
“F! … How did that happen?” I thought it was some sort of bad news. She looked completely dazed.
Her reaction to the acceptance off the waitlist was similar. “Now what do I do?” She had made decisions, she had made plans, and then she had to make a very hard decision. That’s when the overwhelmed tears came in.
She’s currently a very happy and successful junior at the crazy high reach school.
@xcgal17 I would definitely continue assuming you are going to the in-state school…buy the sweatshirt, join the FB group. Talk to your parents about the LAC affordability…what would make it affordable? Also look at the COmmon Data Set for the school…see what percentage of people come off the WL.