Eldest daughter she knew the minute she set foot on a campus, whether or not she would be comfortable at a school.
Case in point: she was applying to Yale. Her chances were really good there. I think she was accepted there. (I can’t remember if it was her or her brother.) The minute we stepped on that campus she said “mom it’s a no.”
I said, “well we came all the way here to the East Coast, to look at your schools, don’t you at least want to take the tour we reserved?” “No”, she was done.
When you’re not from the region that you’ve applied to, you really want to take a look at where you’ll be living for the next four years.
I personally like San Diego State, (I have a huge bias as a graduate.) I think what makes the campus are the students. They’re happy, they’re very friendly and the school feels like a huge family where you’re constantly meeting “new relatives”. So even though the campus is huge, it can feel really small because of the way the students interact.
Our middle daughter applied to and was accepted at Santa Clara and we did visit during admitted student days, but the middle daughter, who always was anxious to go on the tours suddenly said to us, “no, this isn’t it”. It was a beautiful campus, warm, happy people. So my husband and I were thoroughly confused because we had been through this with the previous child.
Did our middle child explain it to us? Nope not a bit.
We didn’t “get it” but she ended up at a UC that was a lot cheaper and she was happy there.
So the visits are crucial because you never know what your child is going to think, or say, or do, that is a different feeling than when they’re applying.
My daughter is a junior but I 'm reading this thread with interest. Given the low admissions rate reality even for excellent students, we are considering not visiting east coast schools pre-cycle at all (we live in WA state and have visited several west coast schools already). She has only 3 east coast schools on her list, is not really sure she wants to travel that far, and her time is limited due to sports commitment. We would plan to visit once she sees if/where she is admitted. To me, it seems like not an effective use of time and money to fly to the east coast to tour places like Lafayette, Mount Holyoke and Bowdoin, all potentially on her list but all reach schools (except maybe MHC, which might be a high target), before even applying. This is a different approach than what we took with my D21 (we visited 7 east coast schools her junior year), but seems more prudent given the current admissions climate.
@shawk We are taking S24 on a East Coast college tour this spring, in large part because the culture on the East Coast is quite different and particular to the region (full disclosure - I’m an East Coast transplant to the Midwest…culture shock is real).
S24 is convinced he wants to be in the New England region. We’re supportive but also want him to see what the area is like before he applies. He has a mix of targets and likelies on his list, so pretty sure he won’t fall in love with any reaches (those don’t go on the list as we won’t pay for them).
Until we are there this March, we won’t know if he actually wants to go to school in New England; his experience up until now has been coastal vacations in the summer, NYC and tv shows set there. I think it is totally worth the cost of the trip to answer that question before he spends the time and energy on applications.
If he were interested in any schools elsewhere, I probably wouldn’t be so set on him visiting before application season. But right now, that’s where he wants to put all his eggs, so we need to check before he commits to that plan.
Our kid wanted to attend college far from home. We actually didn’t want her to apply anywhere unless she thought she would want to live there for four years. We did tours of a large number of schools combined with vacations and family visits during her sophomore and junior years of high school. I understand this isn’t financially possible for everyone…but we didn’t want her to waste application time and money applying to colleges she simply didn’t like.
She initially only applied to three colleges. Well vetted before applications were even sent.
Both D20 and D23 ended up applying to three schools each, both had done a lot of vetting before applications as well. It has worked thus far very well.
As a fam who did the 48-hour Boston schools trip, I think your updated plan is solid. There’s also fun places to eat in Boston, too. Completely agree about not making the expenditures on Atl flights or a Pitt drive without an acceptance.
Totally agree with this although it can make for a lot of traveling and covid has really shortened the time period for visiting for this year’s seniors. The only way to get the vibe of the school and to appreciate the logistics of getting there is to visit. My oldest is a senior this year, and some schools she was convinced she would hate went to the top of the list and vice versa after visits. She would have gone through the time consuming uc app for no good reaason had we not visited.
I wouldn’t worry about teasing or expectations from school friends. Just tell them it’s a trip to Boston or California.
I totally get it, I’m from NY, went to college in CT, but have lived in Seattle for 25 years and my kids don’t really understand the cultural (and weather/seasonal) differences between east, west, mid-west. There is always the chance we could visit in summer, but I do think it’s better if students are present on campus to get a better idea of “vibe.” It worked for me and D21 to go over her February break her junior year - she was shocked by the cold and brown landscape as she is used to more temperate and evergreen. She would have applied to two schools in MA anyway, but ended up getting in REA to Stanford and then saw no point to pursue other options.
For my D24, she’s not particularly invested in the process yet. She also has limited time off due to her sport. I would be dragging her to tour schools back east if we went this February. She doesn’t care all that much at this point, and I see no point in pushing her. Maybe a summer trip will happen, or maybe she’ll decide to stick with WA/OR/CA schools, or maybe she’ll apply to a few schools back east and then see where she’s admitted.
It’s a very different process this time but I am realizing D24 needs to be more invested if we are going to fly across the country (especially in winter). It sounds like your son is indeed invested, and I would do the same if I were in your shoes.
Winter in the Northeast is its own beast. That’s the big reason we want him to see it in person. And while I would say the Northeast is a kind place with good people…it isn’t always a nice place, if you understand the difference I’m trying to make.
I still miss it after 25 years in the midwest, but it is a very particular culture/physical environment.
Hi- It is definitely difficult to manage touring schools especially when they are spread across the country which was the same situation I was in. If your daughter has a big preference that she is dying to see in person I would say President’s weekend in February would be the best time. I ended up at Northeastern and when I toured here I was able to see NEU, BU, and BC in 2 days so if she had heard back from Northeastern by then and also wanted to see BU that would be an easy way to see both. I would also say maybe doing a weekend trip to visit the California schools and maybe Arizona? I am from Arizona, so Tucson may not be super conveinient to travel to for one school visit, but I have many friends who are at UofA if you have any questions about that specifically. A day or two of school may have to be skipped to maximize seeing schools, but I will say that touring schools in person played a big role in my decision making process. Good luck and let me know if you have any questions!
For D20, we were fortunate enough to be able to attend a couple of admitted student tours before the lockdown in March. We had toured the schools previously, but I think the admitted student tour is both better and is seen through the eyes of knowing it’s an option (which changes the lens).
All of that being said, while tours are useful, they don’t always address (or accurately convey) the vibe. I was just talking with D over Thanksgiving–she attends SCU–and she said that if she had a single piece of advice for someone picking a college, it would be to reach out to a current student to get the “real story”. She said that if someone from her HS reached out–even if she didn’t know the person at all–she would make time to talk to them and tell them about her experience (which has been phenomenal, btw). She almost didn’t pick SCU because she wasn’t sure about the social scene and the lack of a “college town” experience. It has turned out that she had the wrong impression based on her initial tour/Open House. The neighborhoods adjacent to campus are bustling with students and big part of the social scene, but that wasn’t emphasized on the official tour.
So if your D’s HS college counselor can put her in touch with former students who attend the college(s) she is considering, encourage her to reach out and ask the questions that may not be fully addressed on the tour.