Deadbeat Parents... Any Options?

Paying for College
21

<p>You have moved out. Can you get someone else appointed your legal guardian? That would make you independent for financial aid purposes.</p>

<p>Since you have your costs taken care of for the community college, you are set for the first two years. Walk into the Transfer Counselor’s office at that CC and find out just exactly what you need to to do position yourself for the kind of merit-based aid you will need for your last two years of college. Yes, there is money for CC graduates, but you will have to earn excellent grades in order to qualify for it. This is indeed possible if you are willing to commit to the work.</p>

<p>Wishing you all the best.</p>

22

<p>@cptofthehouse, I pay $450 a month on a room I rent, plus utilities. My deposit was paid by the parents of a friend. My school provides me with a free metrocard. And I work 30-40 hours a week, which leaves enough for food. (My school provides free breakfast and lunch for low-income students, which my guidance counselor helped me qualify for).</p>

23

<p>Did your mother work before she passed away? If so, your custodial parent (father) should have been receiving a monthly social security benefit on your behalf since her passing and which ends upon your hs graduation or 18th birthday, whichever is later. With your father’s salary, the SS benefit should have been saved for your education.</p>

24

<p>My goodness. Do your parents have a conscience? </p>

<p>Do your parents have any other kids?</p>

<p>(heck the dad may have used the SS benefits to pay for HIS education!)</p>

25

<p>@Ohiomom3000, This is the first I’m hearing of it! How would I access that? He wasn’t able to spend that, correct?</p>

26

<p>Hmmmm…well, it could all be true. The advice is good, anyway.</p>

27

<p>Wait, are you already out of your parents house and in the system as being in danger of being homeless? That could completely change your situation. If this is all documented through your school, you may be eligible for a dependency override. Talk to your school counselor about it.</p>

28

<p>@mom2collegekids, I have a 5 year old half-brother. As far as I’m aware they have no plans to pay for his education either.</p>

29

<p>^^^</p>

<p>Yes, he could spend it. It’s supposed to be used towards your living expenses. He may have used it to help pay for his school costs or loans.</p>

30

<p>@swimcatsmom, my counselor knows of my situation and she hasn’t mentioned anything during our meetings. What should I ask her?</p>

31

<p>No, he could spend it. He is supposed to spend it on your care. He would have had to apply. Depending on how much she earned, the death benefit could have been as much as $1000 or so a month if she earned around $100K per year. If she earned less, it would be less, of course.</p>

32

<p>The way it works for college is that your parents are the ones who are on the hook to pay, and they determine how much they will pay if anything. You are not entitled to college, any more than you are entitled to a car, a trip to Europe, an apartment of your own,…anything. College is a luxury. For those families who cannot afford college and are willing to open up their finances and show that it is not possible, there is financial aid. There are many needy kids whose families refuse to open up too, holding their kids hostage in terms of any financial aid. Because you are not entitled to it on your own financial statements. It’s all up to your parents. That is the way it works in this country. It’s the same for high school. You go to the high school where your parents live. You want to go to another district or to a private school or a boarding school, you have to have your parents fill out paperwork to do this legitimately and there is payment involved. For private schools, often a huge payment. The same situation exists for college. Until you are 24, have a dependent, are married or a veteran of the Armed Forces, or have gotten court papers for emancipation from your parents for cause before you turned 18, you are still a dependent of your parents, for college purposes. </p>

<p>I believe there is paperwork available for kids whose parents outright refuse to fill out FAFSA. Sybbie or Kelsmom could fill in the details about that option. But you are not going to get much of a windfall from this path as the system discourages anyone from doing this since so many parents do not want to pay.</p>

<p>You aren’t alone in all of this. </p>

<p>I think, however, there is more to this story than you are telling. Where and with whom have you been living all these years in high school? What suddenly happened that you are now living on your own in a room in Brooklyn with an Ipod? </p>

<p>There are lawsuits about this,but the law is pretty clear, and unless there is more to this, there is no recourse here. Kids leave home in a huff or get thrown out of the routinely during high school, and the sad reality is unless they have money, they are dependent on their parents. No one else is going to pay for them to go to college, and sometimes not even the parents. My good friend’s ex who was a high rolling surgeon refused to pay for his kids and there wasn’t a thing anyone could do. It was not written specifically in the divorce decree in this case, and state law held the parent only responsible till age 18.</p>

<p>I don’t know NY law o this, but I do believe there is some parental support provision through college in NY. You need to talk to your guidance counselor ASAP about this development in your life, so that if there is any recourse available, you can get right onto it. But really, paying for college is at the parent’s discretion.</p>

33

<p>“my father paid his way through school so I should be able too as well.”</p>

<p>If this is your father’s firm belief, then you aren’t going to get any help from him. I have several family members who had this philosophy. None of them had the income of your father, but they “could” have helped a bit with their children’s college expenses and chose not to. Every single one of their children did find a way to get an education. Some by landing ginormous merit-based scholarships, others by choosing inexpensive public universities that they could handle with work and student loans, still others by joining ROTC or enlisting and attending college later on the GI bill.</p>

<p>Paying your own way is not easy, but it can be done.</p>

34

<p>So it doesn’t look like I have very many options… :(</p>

35

<p>Why did this parent of a friend give you the money for the deposit to move out of the house? All it does is put you $450 behind the 8 ball to them, and then each month thereafter when you had a place to live before and commute to school? Now you have shown your parents you want to be out of their hair and have moved out on your own. Great move. Now you are on your own. This just does not add up to me. Something happened to cause all of this to happen this spring.</p>

36

<p>The FAFSA dependency questions have questions about students in danger of becoming homeless. If your counselor has already been helping you by making you eligible for the free lunch program, she may also be able to help you here.</p>

<p>Show her this link
[Completing</a> the FAFSA 2012-2013/The Application Questions(45-57)](<a href=“http://studentaid.ed.gov/students/publications/completing_fafsa/2012_2013/ques3-4.html]Completing”>http://studentaid.ed.gov/students/publications/completing_fafsa/2012_2013/ques3-4.html)</p>

<p>these are the relevant FAFSA questions:

</p>

<p>I believe it is not easy to qualify, but as you seem to have a pretty well documented situation through your school it may be possible. I hope so.</p>

37

<p>Find out if your father has been receiving SS death benefits on your behalf. If so, talk to him about the money and at the very least you should be getting it now. If he never applied, you can apply now. You will get from now (April) until your birthday, I believe.</p>

38

<p>This sucks. You have my sympathies, but you need a plan. </p>

<p>While you could go to a community college, since you live in NYC, you should be able to go to a CUNY school like Queens, Hunter, Brooklyn, Lehman, Baruch, CCNY, York, Staten Island.</p>

<p>Just register and take as many credits as you can afford. </p>

<p>Look into taking CLEP exams and try to get as much credit as possible. If you can’t afford classes, you can still self-study and get credits. </p>

<p>Good luck. </p>

<p>The other out for financial aid is to get married. Once you’re married, you’re no longer your parent’s dependent. You’d then be eligible to fill out the financial aid forms with your spouse. </p>

<p>I’m not suggesting that you run out and get married, but you should know the rules in case you fall in love with someone, etc.</p>

39

<p>@Cpt - Um, I guess they offered to give me the deposit because they’re good people who’ve known me since I was 12 and they knew I needed it? </p>

<p>And I moved out onto a friend’s couch at the beginning of March and into the room I rent the end of March, because my parents are horrible people and I didn’t see a reason to keep living there since they said I’d have to move out when I turned 18 in July anyway… It made more sense to move and get situated while I knew half my food expenses and all my transportation expenses were covered…</p>

<p>Not that any of that matters considering the point of the thread…?</p>

40

<p>@swimcatsmom, I’ll bring that up to my counselor. Thank you!</p>

<p>@ohiomom, Okay, thank you. I’ll try it out. Even if it’s only for two months it’ll help. And if he’s just been putting it in a separate account without thinking about it it’s possible he forgot about it and I’m entitled to it, hopefully. </p>

<p>@classicrocker, I’ve actually thought about a faux-marriage. And if faced with the possibility of not going to school for 6 years otherwise it might be the easiest of my few options it seems…</p>