<p>I'm really quite fortunate. I was able to snag a top 15 LAC education with little out of pocket and yet I feel completely at rock bottom. I've been dealing with this depression for a while now. I worry about a lot of things, I can't seem to steer myself out of thinking about past failures this year and its effecting me socially, academically, and physically. I don't know what to do to help myself, but I feel like if I carry on this way I'm going to burn out real quick. It's as if I can't allow myself any piece of mind. I'm going into my sophomore year soon and I need to fix this problem ASAP. Please, any advice is appreciated, kind of desperate here..</p>
<p>EDIT: I'd also like to add that my problem has to mainly deal with balancing my social and academic life at school. Being a varsity athlete really takes a huge crunch of my time, but it seems to be the only thing I'm "exceptional" at and I've always had the intention to go pro, but I don't feel very close with my team and given both school and sports I don't have much time for anything else so I don't have many close friend groups and can't to much with clubs/organizations. But I'm afraid leaving the team will only hurt me socially. I have a difficult time meeting new people and maintaining friends. Being in sports was always convenient because I was with a set group of people for a certain duration of time. I've had a pretty bleak social experience so far. And academically speaking, my grades are abysmal, and as much as I'd like to think sports are the primary issue I feel as though my prior academic background is hurting me too (I went to pretty crummy public schools). I study hard, but it'd been very taxing competing with other students from private schooling (which most of my classmates have had) who have been able to take far more advanced material than I. I definitely took plenty of AP/Honors courses but I still feel like my public schooling is lacking in comparison. And I think it shows come discussion or assessment time. All in all, it's incredibly discouraging.</p>
<p>Have you talked to your parents about this? They can help you find a good therapist. If they cant help you for some reason, find a therapist yourself. Many colleges offer this service for free, so take advantage of it. It is very common to deal with depression in college, and you are not alone. Being depressed makes it hard to seek help, but force yourself to make that a priority. Even just taking one step toward help will make a small difference in your outlook.</p>
<p>I’m actually of the opinion that you could use medication, perhaps you suffer from an anxiety disorder. A doctor may prescribe a placeholder medication but you should consult a counselor.</p>
<p>I am sorry you are going through a hard time. I agree with others that you should seek some help for the depression. It doesn’t have to be a long term commitment, just go and see what the school and/or your area has to offer and then decide what form of help will work best for you. There are also self help books, etc that are worth looking into, but making that connection with a professional can be an important step and might help more than you think…even if it’s just someone to talk to to put things into perspective.
You mention maybe dropping the team sport. Maybe it doesn’t have to start out as all or nothing. Can you maybe add one other club or activity, just long enough to see if you like it, before dropping your other activity? You could sort of test the waters that way, but really if the team isn’t a positive experience for you I don’t know why you’d need to stay stuck in it…I’d just strongly caution you not to drop it without a good plan for other ways to get out there and get involved.
You mention in another post that you worked a lot of hours. Is that still the case? If so, I imagine that is part of the problem too.</p>
<p>If you do have depression then the good news is that it’s not crippling since apparently you can handle the rigors of school and sports. Putting on my amateur shrink hat, it seems to be more of a personality disorder. Anyway start out by talking to a therapist, he/she should be able to lead you in the right direction. GL</p>