Dealing with heartbreak...A thread for those Rejected by HYP. Perspective?

<p>I thought I had things going for me. Classical music (Chinese) national awards. State level debate victories. Salutatorian and SATs to match. Raising thousands of dollars for charity through classical concerts. Published business article in an international magazine.</p>

<p>Yet, HYP didn't want me. Not even a waitlist, but outright rejection.</p>

<p>As I read the acceptance threads on the HYP forums, I'm losing my mind. Applicants as good as me and better who were rejected from one of these schools were accepted to the others. Or perhaps MIT or Stanford, which are just as good.</p>

<p>I have Penn CAS, Cornell, and Dartmouth acceptances in my hand...but after HYP, they just don't mean much. Although I'm a prospective finance guy, I think I made the smart decision by applying to CAS rather than Wharton.</p>

<p>My mind is spinning in circles. Things could have been different. As good as Penn CAS is, the thought of a Harvard education haunts me. Proudly being the first in my family to go to Harvard. Moving up the social ladder. Networking. My mind spins.</p>

<p>Can SOMEONE please, please, assure me that there were applicants better than me who got rejected from HYP? I don't mean to be sadistic. I want some perspective.</p>

<p>Thank you.</p>

<p>Was that supposed to be a satire…?</p>

<p>I don’t want to be cruel, but you gotta get a grip. The decisions are not made as judgements of value as a person or even your past performance. They are made bc they are looking to balance a class with kids with a variety of talents and experiences. That’s it. If you are looking for a rational explanation you will be very disappointed.</p>

<p>Penn is fantastic and instead of crying over Harvard, fall in love with Penn–or one of the other colleges thousands would jump for joy to attend, that you can chose to say yes to. Please don’t keep a chip on your shoulder about HYP–they aren’t worth it–you will miss out on a great experience at Penn (or wherever)–you will merely torture yourself–people at the college you attend will think you to be an a*&h%l$, which is not a great reputation to have.</p>

<p>It isn’t a matter of better or worse–in many respects I am not entirely sure what those terms in the admissions context mean anyway. </p>

<p>Go and make the admissions people regret they didn’t take you-- but don’t dwell on it again. There is NO upside whatsoever in doing so.</p>

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<p>Happy as I am to be at Harvard, do you really think you cannot do any of those things at Penn? My second choice–and it was very, very close–was lower-ranked than Penn. It was my second choice because I was convinced I could get just as good (with a 40-50% chance it would even be better) education there than Harvard. Harvard won because I liked the “vibe” better.</p>

<p>Many people are proud to be the first in their family to go to college. You can be proud of being the first in your family to go to an Ivy–or be proud to continue your family’s tradition. The rest of your quote all applies to Penn as well as Harvard. Networking? Moving up the social ladder? Oh, yes. There is not one place, I guarantee you, you can get to from Harvard that you cannot get to from Penn.</p>

<p>He’s ■■■■■■■■:</p>

<p>Read his post on the Penn Forum:</p>

<p><a href=“http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/university-pennsylvania/1316050-choosing-between-penn-cas-dartmouth-brown-yale.html[/url]”>http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/university-pennsylvania/1316050-choosing-between-penn-cas-dartmouth-brown-yale.html&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;

<p>Boondocks, I’ll have you know that I’m not a ■■■■■. I had a Yale waitlist spot and was able to personally talk to one of the deans and adcoms who told me I had a solid chance; yesterday, I was notified of my rejection.</p>

<p>Talking to another poster on the forums, I learned that Yale supposedly had not notified any rejections, so I may still be on the waitlist.</p>

<p>In any case though, no trolling here-Just needed to clarify some stuff.</p>

<p>Hope you understand this.</p>

<p>It still looks a bit fishy. Why are you saying admitted to Yale (if every waitlisted person claimed it, Yale would have 3000 admits instead of 2000) and Brown but you seem to have dropped Brown along the way and picked up Cornell?</p>

<p>… “applicants as good as me, applicants better than me”<br>
Should be “applicants better than I.” Maybe you had such glaring grammatical errors in your essays.</p>

<p>Boondocks thanks for exposing powerfuldog. Which one of his stories is worth believing now?</p>

<p>I’m beyond surprised that so many are eager to label a person with ■■■■■ status. It should be obvious as to who trolls and who doesn’t-the trolls are those who say “not accepted with 2400, national math champ, blah blah” and so forth. I responded to boondocks above.</p>

<p>texaspg-here’s a FULL list; I didn’t mention brown and put in cornell because I was accepted to dyson and didn’t want any pro answers for brown (not considering it as strongly anymore). schools accepted: penn, cornell, brown, dartmouth.</p>

<p>clear?</p>

<p>I don’t think anyone really cares, powerfuldog. Have fun where ever you end up–it just won’t be Harvard.</p>

<p>It is very hard to take anyone seriously if they got into 4 great schools where thousands were rejected and whine about not getting into some other three schools, ■■■■■ or not.</p>

<p>In the end, one can attend one school. If only Harvard matters, why bother applying to so many other schools.</p>

<p>You sound bitter.
If you have to, attend one of your colleges, make the most of your experience, and apply to Harvard as a transfer student.</p>

<p>Do you want to trade place with Saugus?</p>

<p>Life after college largely depends on your major/field and your personality. Your GPA only matters for your first job in many fields, and your alma mater probably won’t matter that much in the long run.</p>

<p>I have to say, who cares? So you’re not going to HYP, but there are a ton of better colleges I hope you applied to that you are going to enjoy and have more fun at. Its a myth that only HYP allow for top job placement, because there are so many more top jobs than people even looking for those jobs from those schools. So get over yourselves and live life!!!</p>

<p>^ amen, amen, amen.</p>

<p>There seems to be more of this sort of thread than I recall from past years…anyone notice it or am I wrong about this.</p>

<p>^You are correct in your observation. If you noticed, the majority of those posting such end of life diatribe are either foreign students, or internationals who attend a school in the USA. When you read statements like the OP’s, </p>

<p>"Yet, HYP didn’t want me. Not even a waitlist, but outright rejection.</p>

<p>As I read the acceptance threads on the HYP forums, I’m losing my mind. Applicants as good as me and better who were rejected from one of these schools were accepted to the others. Or perhaps MIT or Stanford, which are just as good. I have Penn CAS, Cornell, and Dartmouth acceptances in my hand…but after HYP, they just don’t mean much."</p>

<p>A US student understands that there are many great colleges that one can attend but that just by graduating from a top/prestigious school will not magically open all the doors for you. As more countries have increased affluent middle class, they attempt to attain social prestige by attending a “famous” US institution because they regard it as their ticket to move up the social ladder. I am using “famous” because NYU for example has a higher cache overseas than other top schools. Williams for example is a non-entity in prestige overseas, even though it is the top LAC here. Abroad they only know of large, research universities, with many graduate schools, because in previous years, many internationals middle class students graduated from their national university undergrad and then came to the USA for graduate school. Social status is extremely important outside the USA. Note that when the IMF head was arrested, the discusion in Europe was not about the crime and the circumstances but how a simple police dept (policemen overseas are considered low social class) dare to go and arrest such an important man. And handcuffed him! Going back to my reference to policemen, that’s another reason that outside the USA people have this assumption that she is the land of of extreme wealth for all her citizens. In the cop shows, the average policemen have large houses with swimming pools, yards, etc, and enjoy the good life. Then they compare that with the standard of living for the police in their country and say, wow, think what I can achieve if I go to the USA. Similarly, immigrants who might be dead poor and living in small apartments with 10 other people while in the USA, when they return home for vacations they spend large sums of money to impress the community because they want to gain social acceptance. Some even take loans so they can spend “lavishly” during vacations back in the motherland.</p>

<p>Of course it is sad that they do not realize that among the ~10% that the top US undergraduate schools accept, the factor of legacy/social status/prestigious private school is extremely prevalent than the US/permanent resident admitted student pool. More savvy foreign parents understand this and that’s why we have birth tourism. Others, especially in Asian countries, (not the subcontinent) middle families think that if their child comes and attends a US public high school it will increase their chance to be accepted by a top school. It won’t because they will still be send through the international stream, even if examined by the regional coordinator for the US as well. If one checks the high school-not whether they are on FA vs paying in full- for internationasl, they will see that the majority has graduated from specific feeder schools in their country, the equivalent of the local Andover/Exeter (or the actual Andover/Exeter). Do not forget, that the adcom do not want just the best student who has the best scores, but also someone who will have the skills to survive in a rigorous environment (not only academic) and has leadership abilities (this encompasses not only natural abilities but social capital as well) to successfully utilise a degree from that institution. Another issue is that they read CC or the various how to be accepted in a top school book and assume that they need the same qualifications to be accepted by a US school. The cold reality is that these statistics are for the US pool. For example, being the first generation to go to college does not have the same impact as it does for a US student. ECs are also evaluated differently. Being the president of the X student club will not gain them the same brownie points that will be attributed to the US student. </p>

<p>Returning to the OP’s comments, “Proudly being the first in my family to go to Harvard. Moving up the social ladder. Networking. My mind spins.”</p>

<p>What a ■■■■■…</p>

<p>Powerfuldog,
Etondad has the right message. I know it is confusing and frustrating. I was also rejected from YP many years ago, but went to Dartmouth and found out that in the “real world” the name on your diploma doesn’t matter much. High school, and the college admissions process, is a very small world. Once you get away from all of this you will wonder why you cared so much in the first place. Success is up to you. The HYP obsession is driven by ego and status. It is not your fault, though. Students are brainwashed into thinking HYP is the only route to success, and then given no support or explanation when they are rejected. You should not be criticized by the people on this forum. You worked hard and have achieved a lot and should be proud of that. It is an unnecessarily cruel process. Let’s be kind to each other, folks.</p>