<p>I was curious how everyone who has already experienced/will soon experience leaving home has dealt with it? I'm leaving in a couple days and I'm honestly having a pretty hard time with it. I know everything will be fine once I get there and am settled, but it's tough. At this point, I'm really dreading going to school and the excitement that my friends seem to have is completely foreign to me. Any thoughts or advice?? Thanks.</p>
<p>Well what exactly is it that you are going to miss about home life? Is it seeing your family? Your friends are all at different schools? Your roommate? Homesickness can be caused by a number of things but a general solution is hard unless a more exact underlying fear is found.</p>
<p>I personally didn't experience much homesickness at all and was very anxious to get to school so I don't believe I'll be too much help on this one. But hopefully I got your started on breaking it down to it's roots b/c a solution to a specific problem is easier than a solution to a general one. And ask yourself questions after each break down and once you find your specific problem it might be easier to ask for help. </p>
<p>Here is an example of breaking down your fear: Fear of leaving home (Sol: a bit vague) -> fear of new people (Sol: are you shy? still pretty vague) -> fear of living beside people you've haven't known your whole life (Sol: don't like unfamiliar people intruding on your space? ever share a room before? siblings? how did you get around problems with them? Still a big vague b/c you could be talking about your whole floor or dorm) -> fear of roommate (Sol: Call her/him up, chat online, settle any difficulties you may encounter etc)</p>
<p>You can always ask your friends how they are dealing with the (general or particular) fear you have too b/c it obviously isn't bugging them and maybe they did deal with it or are thinking of something that made them feel better that you haven't thought of. Everybody going to college has the same fears. It is just how you deal with them that enables one to get excited or afraid.</p>
<p>P.S. This is a little late to be feeling this. Have you put off thinking about it through denial or repression? That might help pinpoint the sub-problem if you know your denial or repression method everytime it started to bug you.</p>
<p>Thanks for the reply.</p>
<p>To answer your last questions: no, I haven't been in denial. I've actually been dealing with this with absolutely no improvement for at least the past year. </p>
<p>Sure, I'm nervous about new people, living with a complete stranger, etc. But, I don't feel that I'm excessively nervous and I really don't even think about it very much.</p>
<p>My biggest problem stems from leaving my family and home itself. I'm really close with my family and home seems to be one of the only places where I am completely comftorable. I've never even been to summer camp, so I've never experienced not seeing my parents on a daily basis and it's pretty distressing to me that I won't be able to. I'm really just saddened by the thought of leaving home and my parents.</p>
<p>I realize that there probably is no solution and that it's important to just suck it up and deal with it, but I'm hoping that any of you who have, or will have experienced this can share some insight, if there is any. Thanks.</p>
<p>Before reading too much into the above post, I'm really not as sheltered as it may seem. I'm a very independent, self-sufficient and capable person. I AM very determined and motivated to do well academically this year and am excited to get started with classes. The issue almost solely rests on not wanting to leave home and family.</p>
<p>"No, I haven't been in denial"
Haha, I love irony</p>
<p>yeah...i'm excited to move (i'm leaving tomorrow morning! 10 hours and counting...) but at the same time i'm freaking out. sometimes i'm excited, sometimes sad, sometimes anxious. idk, I just want this to all be over soon and just be there and ok. i'm going to miss my family and boyfriend and all my friends a lot, and thats the main reason i'm kinda freaking out.</p>
<p>I think it is a little late but if being without your family is an issue you should have tried to pick up a job or went to a camp this summer to get used to being away from your family. You should try to be more independent like making your own food or something and maybe trying to do somethings without your family. You might have wanted to spend your last summer with your family every minute but you've had 18 years for that. This should be the summer that you're kind of starting to part.</p>
<p>Trying to gradually cut them out of your life, (I know it sounds harsh but they aren't always going to be there for you in person) would have been much better than <em>poof</em> there gone type senario that most college students put themselves in.</p>
<p>I was lucky. I was invited to do an engineering internship over the summer and I went home every weekend (college is 2&1/2 hours away) and we took a vacation right before I left. So family and being independent were pretty well distributed before I left and didn't feel as homesick during the school year as when they first left me during the summer. I was used to it by the time school starts.</p>
<p>Actually homesickness hit me when I started having trouble with my learning disability and didn't know where to turn. I got through it but I learned that in today's connected world your family, although maybe not in person </p>
<p>As for last minute tips:</p>
<p>Bring some things from home no matter how dorky they seem just to remind you of them once in a while and make it feel homey (like I brought some stuff from my room and a picture magnet or two from my kitchen, for girls it's okay to bring stuffed animals) and get a picture frame or a few to have your friends and family somewhere visible.</p>
<p>I know you're going to miss them but many phone companies have family plans and I suggest your family gets one so that you don't rack up any bills by calling them and it would be easier for you to talk to them whenever you want. Maybe you can have a specified calling time so you can tell them about your day and decrease it's frequency (once a day to weekly) as the semester goes on.</p>
<p>Make times when you and your siblings can chat online and send regular emails home. They can always write back updating you on home life so you don't miss a thing. They can always include pictures too like if they cut down a tree or something taking a before and after so you aren't surprised when you get home. This may sound dumb but when many leave home they are scared of changes & problems back there when they can't control them. At least you'll know about it even if you can't do anything in person.</p>
<p>If you're college isn't that far away you can always have your parents come up to have dinner on one weekend out of the month or two months. Just to get some face time and events told in person.</p>
<p>That's some stuff I hope helps. I leave tomorrow so I'm pretty much thinking about all this stuff for me and my sister (who is leaving for college the first time this year).</p>
<p>9 hours left ( and counting) before i move out and i feel like a total wreck. Although i've been away for months from my mother and for years from my father, there is that glooming feeling that still engulf my head. Maybe it's the transition and the responsibility that i will be facing that got into me or Maybe it's the fact that i'm leaving someone that i wanted to stay close to. But whatever it is will sure escape my head when i get to my new home.</p>
<p>I don't know where my parents read this or heard this, but somewhere in the vast, collected wisdom of the cosmos, it has been said that it helps with homesickness to schedule your first weekend visit home before you leave for college. It makes sense to me. Knowing that in four weeks or six weeks or whatever you'll be going home might make it easier to deal with all of the new things in your life. Don't go home the first or second weekend of school, or else everyone else will get into the swing of weekends at school, and you will have missed out. Don't go home until everyone's had a chance to adjust a little bit (including you, others at your school, and your family). I hope that helps, and if it's any consolation, I too am extremely nervous about college even though it seems all my friends are all smiles about it.</p>
<p>I definitely second the idea of scheduling your first weekend home before you leave. There's a definite difference between "it's not forever, you'll be home before you know it" and "it's not forever, you'll be home in six weeks."</p>
<p>The main reason i'm not excited about leaving home is because of my relationship with my family. i feel guilty about not being close with them, and we argue a lot. it's gotten better this summer, but i feel that after i leave i'll never have the chance to form good relationships. i'm out almost every night at parties and what not, so the few times we talk during the day is "hey mom i'm going to so 'n so's house" or "i'll seeya later"
Kinda weird i know...sorry i just had to vent</p>
<p>Eh ... I don't ever really miss being at home that much. Enjoy your new life. Enjoy uncertainty and new experiences...</p>