<p>My brother will be a senior this fall and has begun looking at colleges. He wanted to visit Rutgers and was considering applying there. My dad is a doctor, with a private practice, because of this everyone always assumed one of us would become a doctor and take over his practice. So, everyone in family keeps telling him to look at top ranked schools, so he can go to medical school. They keep telling him to look at places like Brown and UChicago. He and I both know that his grades are good, but no where near good enough for those schools. Plus, he doesn't even want to be a doctor. Anyway, after my brother told my grandfather that we were going to visit Rutgers soon, my grandfather told him it was a waste of time, and that Rutgers is the equivalent of one of our lower ranked state universities. After hearing this my brother became very discouraged and told my mom he doesn't want to visit anymore. </p>
<p>I faced this problem too when I was applying to colleges. In fact, I am facing this problem even now, because everyone keeps telling me I should transfer to MIT. I simply don't want to, never mind the fact that I probably wouldn't get in anyway. How do you deal with this problem? In my case ignoring them works, but my brother is different. He doesn't know what he wants to do, and when he finds something he likes everyone shoots him down. He thought he was interested in history for a while, but then everyone told him that he "won't be allowed" to do history. </p>
<p>How do you deal with this problem? I am worried more about my brother than myself, especially because I will be leaving him in the fall.</p>
<p>First, its your brother's duty to speak to your parents. You can provide moral support. If you are asked your opinion, fine. Otherwise, dont get involved. </p>
<p>Second, your brother has to convey to your parents that its too soon to pick majors and careers and that college is about exploring ideas and options. Nobody is your parent's clone. However, their opinions should be listened to and you both need to be respectful, as they are likely going to pay for your college education. </p>
<p>The trick is to say, "I just dont know yet what I want to do" and "I want to attend a college where I can be happy, fit in socially and thrive academically...to grow up and become the man I am capable of being." </p>
<p>That means looking at SEVERAL schools and finding the best fit.</p>
<p>Your parents dont want you or your brother to be unhappy. That breeds discontent and failure. Being happy is a long ways to success in school.</p>
<p>Its okay to be interested in History. Its a VERY rigorous academic program. Its not as easy as people think. History can lead to careers in law, business, journalism, communications....or even medical school. I am not kidding.</p>
<p>But the point is not to fret about majors now. The point is to find the school that is the best fit for him academically, socially, financially, geographically etc.</p>
<p>Be a supportive brother, but not a meddling brother. Transitioning from high school to college is a LOT harder than most high school kids contemplate and a lot of parents forget.</p>
<p>Good luck.</p>
<p>I agree with nocousin above. </p>
<p>I don't know if this will help, but you might want to encourage your brother to conisder LACs. I think this might help for a couple of reasons: (1) it's more culturally acceptable/encouraged and therefore easier to be undecided for the the first two years and (2) it is also easier to pursue a social sciences or humanities major while still fulfilling pre-med requirements (one friend was a history major and another an English major, but both went to top-ranked Med Schools). If your brother is uncertain, this last strategy might buy him more time to decide or at least to mature and stand up to your parents when he's a bit older.</p>
<p>Just wait till your like in the second year of college.</p>
<p>Once you declare your major, you can stand up to your parents and tell them that this is the right choice for me because I want to do XYZ, not because you told me so, its because I want to do it.</p>
<p>Just wait, till your a bit older, and then stand up. They won't fight you.</p>