<p>Please apply to safety schools so you won’t kill yourself 
Even if you’re being sarcastic…</p>
<p>I will not kill myself. I am not programmed to deal with rejection, so it will not be an option in the first place. I plan on applying to Harvard, Yale, Princeton, Stanford, MIT, Brown, Dartmouth, Duke, and Northwestern.</p>
<p>How are your grades?</p>
<p>[ do you sense sarcasm in my posts?]</p>
<p>If I didnt sense sarcasm in your post, I would not have posted my post!</p>
<p>x<em>Ambivalent</em>x, I like you.
You’re correct, if you don’t get in to those schools (and really, should Brown, Dartmouth, and Northwestern really be on that list?) you are a complete waste of space and oxygen and deserve to die. Go hard and get accepted or become worm food if that’s the only thing you can do well!
And that, my friends, is sarcasm 
x<em>Ambivalent</em>x, I do actually find you amusing…</p>
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<p>I visited Northwestern’s campus and fell in love. I am applying to Dartmouth because I want my best friend to write my peer recommendation. I am applying to Brown for their accelerated medical program, and for Emma Watson. It is clear they should be on the list.</p>
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<p>I am approximately class rank 4 out of a class of 998.</p>
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<p>This is much appreciated. Very often people only tell you when you do something wrong, but hearing a compliment is a breath of fresh air once in a while.</p>
<p>Wow your school must be very big, x<em>Ambivalent</em>x!</p>
<p>I didn’t like NW’s campus feel that much (I’ve been in the midwest too long already), I’m applying to Brown (and think Emma Watson’s an excellent reason!), and I really don’t like Dartmouth for no logical reason.
tsk tsk, only fourth, no wonder Brown made your list…</p>
<p>998 in your class? are you sure that’s not your school?</p>