Dealing with Rejection

<p>Now that colleges will start looking at the apps I am getting those anxiety type feelings I got when filling out the apps.</p>

<p>I have psyched myself up to deal with possible( almost certain) rejections by reasoning that:</p>

<p>I've already gotten in to Tulane and at least I won't be an orphan if I don't get in anywhere else. Besides, due to the nature of the student body at Tulane I will probably make myself distinctly known and probably take a more active leadership role in more activities than I could have at HYPS... I look at HYPS as lotteries... it may happen or not, but I am not counting on them. Still, it would be nice to get in to some schools like Brown, Duke Dartmouth edc. I psych myself up for a rejection so that if I am accepted I will be ecstatic whereas if I am rejected I will have already prepared myself for that. </p>

<p>Any thoughts/ comments in the issue. </p>

<p>While RD letters are still a relatively long time away , I think its important to delve into this issue before then.</p>

<p>The only thing more stressful than a rejection would be to be wait-listed... that would be a nightmare... like being stuck in Dante's Purgatory</p>

<p>I'm expecting rejection, and I'm ready for it. My other options depend on the private schools that accept me. If not one of them does, I'll be going to some state school or UC. OR, Reed, which I have a hard time thinking will reject me because I seem like their ideal student, plus they have an amazingly high acceptance rate....like 50%......</p>

<p>hey, go to a state school, get a really good GPA, and use everything you've learned about admissions to get into graduate or professional school</p>

<p>thats my plan sort of</p>

<p>" I psych myself up for a rejection so that if I am accepted I will be ecstatic whereas if I am rejected I will have already prepared myself for that. "</p>

<p>This is a good idea! Also fall in love with your safety school. Tell everyone you know how wonderful it is. That way, if you end up going there, you truly will be happy, not resentful. Meanwhile, if you get a Harvard, etc. acceptance, trust me, you can change your mind very quickly about which school is really your first choice. BTDT. :)</p>

<p>I think it's smart to prepare yourself for the worst. That way, like you said, if you get in, you'll be pleasantly surprised. (I know I was). And it's also more likely that if you're not really expecting to get in, you'll be humble if you do. Humility is underrated, these days. </p>

<p>That said . . . learn the difference between preparing yourself for rejection and expecting the worst. In situations like these, it's true that there's a fine line between pessimism and realism, but there is definitely a difference.</p>

<p>No no, it's okay to be pessimistic now. It's bad to be pessimistic while you're filling out the applications, because then you won't have the motivation to do a good job, so you have to prop up your own ego and temporarily delude yourself into thinking you'll definitely be accepted; but now that the applications are in and there's nothing you can do about it, indulging in pessimism and gloom is a fine thing to do. It prepares you for rejection and isn't at all harmful to your application, since there's nothing you can do but wait to find out.</p>

<p>The depressing thing is, though, that you can't really fully prepare yourself for rejection. There's always that glimmer of hope left in the back of your mind, even if you don't realize it, that will be crushed if rejection does make it your way. Don't become too much of an emotionless rock when it comes to college decisions. It might even make things worse.</p>

<p>Good luck with all your schools, sempitern, and everyone else too. My fingers are still crossed!</p>

<p>You can't fully prepare yourself, but you can go a long way. Rejection hits harder if you're really not expecting it; whereas if you tell yourself that rejection is extremely likely, you'll be disappointed but not blown apart by the news.</p>

<p>No one can expect to get accepted, because look at the odds! So there's no reason to get depressed or doubt yourself if you don't get in, because great students get rejected. Hope, but don't expect. You're STILL a great student whether or not you get in. The decision doesn't change you.</p>

<p>I think one thing that helps some applicants prepare for rejection is looking back at earlier competitive experiences--which is why I recommend competitive experiences for most young people. Everyone wins some, and loses some. After a few years, in hindsight, the losses don't seem to matter so much, and the wins are a little bit more ambiguous too. The odds are long at the most desired schools, but there is a lot of life outside college, and anyone can enjoy that. </p>

<p>Good luck in your applications this year, and stay calm while you wait for the news you are so eager to hear.</p>

<p>"thats my plan sort of"</p>

<p>haha rofl. it's not necessarily where you go, it's how hard you work and how well you do. </p>

<p>my goal has just been to work like crazy in HS and be prepared (next yr) for whatever decision a college gives me. good luck to everyone though!</p>

<p>But remember, you can't start thinking that you have no chance until you have finished your interviews! Not just because the interviews is another place where your application can improve but because you want to be confident for the interview.</p>

<p>Oh yes, of course, after intervirews is what I meant. Now that I'm done mine, I'm pre-emptively in a pit of despair. I've been refusing to eat and sleep—I'm hoping to get that all out of my system now. After all, winter's a time for Seasonal Affective Disorder and other gloomy things, so if you're going to glower and sulk and pity yourself anyway, you might as well do it all at once instead of drawing it out endlessly and unnecessarily. Come spring I'll be bright and chipper while everyone else moans about rejection and failure. ;)</p>

<p>i think the best way to deal with it is to expect to get rejected. people on death row when they are about to get executed kind of go peacefully cause they have mentally prepared themselves in knowing they are about to die.</p>

<p>i dont know.. i dont think you should try to work urself emotionally... most people should have a good idea if they will be accepted or not.... just by looking at the previous applicants from the same school... i always think happy thoughts.. not that im sure ill get in. just if i dont get in, ive at least had 3 months of happiness thinking i might get in... so i dont have to think that i got rejected all my life..</p>

<p>lol princetonwannabe, that's an interesting theory. never thought about it that way before. As for me, I just remove myself emotionally from the process (hard, I know). That way I won't bring myself down with bad thoughts, and neither will I inflate my hopes by thinking positively. And if a rejection or waitlist comes, I won't take the decision so personally.</p>

<p>AAAHHH don't compare college acceptances to death row!!! Don't scare these people!!!</p>

<p>( . . . as April comes along . . . Setting: your house. . . ) ::calm down, now, sweetie, this is NOT the end of the world. . . "bwaaaaaa!" . . . oh dear. . . "I'm ruined!!". . . honey—::</p>

<p>sempti..im doing the same thing your doing..ppl tell me im a self deprecating maniac..but the way i see it is..if i already put myself down..nobody else can hehe..anything else will make me happy..im def expecting rejections..but you know..even though i know i'll be rejected..its diffrent when it actually happens..it's still kind of a shock and it hurts..it's a blow....now ppl...how do u handle that blow?..what do u do?..what will u guys do if u get rejected?..and plz nothing crazy like ull kill yourself..i mean what will u seriously do to ease the pain and maybe humiliation(not really humilation because those are great schools)..?</p>

<p>wow princeton..thats a different way of looking at it..interesting..the way i see it..is if i tell myself im gonna get in for three months and then i didnt ..i'd feel even worse than if i were to tell myself im not getting in....</p>

<p>i never really liked this whole hype I LOVE HYPS deal.</p>

<p>my personal philosophy?
just give it a shot. if u get in, u get in. if u don't, u don't.
for every rejection letter i get, i know i dragged others down with me
and if i give each college my best shot, i at least know i go down fighting in my true colors.</p>

<p>so far it's paid off. not that i got into any colleges yet, but it's freed me to approach the college process relaxed. i had my harvard interview and i managed to talk freely and get the interviewer to laugh. if u can show these people you are not just all about books, you've done something most people havent.</p>

<p>and besides, i like being the underdog in these college admissions. i've got nothing to lose cuz i know i'm gonna go to a great college. doesnt have to be a HYPS. i'll be successful whereever i end up. u just gotta relax. a lot of people, esp. those with more to lose, tend to fold up. i really have nothing to lose and i expect rejections unless by some miracle my experiment works out and i do get into some of these lottery schools.</p>

<p>face it. u want the college to accept u for who you are, not for who you try to be. i can pretend to know everything about science and act the part, but in the end i'm just lying to them about myself. these people can tell genuine personalites from the cliche Mr. Know it all ones. Life is not just about acing that next exam, getting that 1600, or 800s for the the matter. It's all about living. I've toned down my expectations of getting into dream school A or dream school B. I let the adcoms do their job and i do mines. in the end, they either give me the thumbs up or thumbs down. </p>

<p>don't let prestige in colleges be a measure of how successful you are! BIG NO NO!</p>

<p>well the only problem for me.. for my ''safety schools'' is the financial aid.. my safety is Michigan and NYU, neither have financial aid for foreigners.. one thing that will be good for HYP is that they have need-based fin aid also for forgners.</p>